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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner lied about where he stayed on a business trip

122 replies

Brie35 · 01/07/2021 23:26

I’d like some advice. My partner has started travelling for work again. We’re not married but have lived together for 4 years (been together for 5), we’ve spoken about having children this is something he really wants, and I do too.

I’ve found out he stayed in a 5* hotel while he was away, for 3 weeks. He told me he stayed in their business apartment and a different hotel. His trip was extended while he was away, and for 4 days of the trip once he’d extended we didn’t speak, he kept making excuses saying he had a long day (which he does have long days).

But something doesn’t feel right…I’m not sure if I should confront him, I didn’t snoop down his phone I saw the hotel on documents he travelled with. But I did call the hotel he said he stayed at and they have no record of him there, he stayed at the one on the documents I saw they confirmed the dates on the phone.

OP posts:
MsHedgehog · 03/07/2021 21:02

I’m so sorry OP. I read your thread yday and hoped there was an innocent explanation, especially as you clearly trusted him.

I hope you’re ok and you get through it.

crosshatching · 03/07/2021 21:38

Much love to you Brie, you sound lovely and switched on, you can do better than this.

Bubbletiers · 03/07/2021 22:05

Sorry OP. You will get through this. Finding out the truth is so much better than asking yourself if you’re right or wrong in your “beliefs”. 💐 🥂

5475878237NC · 03/07/2021 23:50

Sorry that is the worst outcome. I hope you are OK and have some support.

firstbabyworries · 04/07/2021 08:49

So sorry @Brie35. You deserve so much better

MondayYogurt · 04/07/2021 12:06

Your gut was right. Stay strong, you can get through this.

opinionminion · 04/07/2021 16:27

I'm so sorry Flowers

Shutupyoutart · 04/07/2021 17:12

I'm so sorry to read your update op hope your holding up ok x

poorpaws · 04/07/2021 21:58

Another so sorry OP, I. Hope you are coping. Sending you strength and comfort. X

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 09/07/2021 00:32

Oh OP what a wanker he is... are you ok? So sorry to hear that...

Lobi1811 · 11/07/2021 08:14

So back before covid I’d frequently stay in five star hotels for long periods of time . Mainly for options like laundry, room service etc

I’d often have other team members hotel bookings where my assistant booked on behalf of junior staff using my corporate amex

Cockenspiel · 11/07/2021 09:01

What a wanker :(

dryasaboner · 11/07/2021 09:54

@Lobi1811

So back before covid I’d frequently stay in five star hotels for long periods of time . Mainly for options like laundry, room service etc

I’d often have other team members hotel bookings where my assistant booked on behalf of junior staff using my corporate amex

It does help to read the thread Wink
dryasaboner · 11/07/2021 09:54

Op sorry to hear this

Slothmomma · 11/07/2021 13:31

Sorry to hear your spidey senses were correct op 😔 I was on similar situation - with ex dh from 19, over 2 decades together and 3 young kids. A lie about a hotel (he was also high flyer) pricked my spidey senses and he ended up leaving me for OW. I used to think he wouldn't have time for an affair too but they always find time apparently even if it means shagging OW during work hours in work building (as I found out) 😖 hope you have people around you to support you at what will no doubt be one of the worst points of your life

Brie35 · 24/07/2021 17:33

Gosh I'm so sorry it's almost the same thing that happened, apparently it's very common with people that fly and have the opportunity. I've since found out more, and it's now making me feel so sick. I have great support and a very good therapist who saw me through my last break up. I've now become so hyper vigilant it's crazy. You're right this is probably the worst thing I've been through I didn't think it would cause me so much pain. I'm so grateful for the people on this thread sharing their stories and thoughts it got me through that discovery week. I'm going to update everyone on this post now I'm feeling stronger. I do hope you managed to heal after this terrible treatment of betrayal x

OP posts:
Brie35 · 24/07/2021 17:34

Yeah and the rest lol - I can think of worse names...

OP posts:
Brie35 · 24/07/2021 17:34

I'm doing better than I was thank you for asking. I'm going to update everyone because you've all been so amazing.

OP posts:
Brie35 · 24/07/2021 17:35

Thank you so much x

OP posts:
Brie35 · 24/07/2021 17:35

Thank you for this, sorry for the delay. I'm doing much better than I was x

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 25/07/2021 13:19

@Brie35

you take things at your own pace lovely 🌸

RandomMess · 26/07/2021 16:59

Glad you are feeling better then you were. It's not a race just take one day at a time Thanks

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