Has anyone experienced such an intense chemistry with a new partner before?

[OrlandointheWilderness]

I've just started seeing someone. From the second I saw him it has been overwhelming, there is an incredible pull towards him but a familiarity at the same time. Sexually it is like nothing I've ever experienced before. He is feeling the same - he brought it up the other day and said about it. It's like a craving, but instead of craving on a purely sexual level I'm craving him. We connect on an intellectual and emotional level too, it's effortless and feels as easy as breathing.

It's terrifying me quite frankly! We started seeing each other three weeks ago and I'm not a lovesick teenager, I'm a grown woman and he is a grown man. As back ground we've never met before but have mutual friends and he is pretty universally thought of as a decent, good man.
Does anyone have experience of this?!

Thanks everyone. We met on bumble.
I'm hopeful, the chemistry is amazing but actually we so far seem to be compatible in other ways too. After a very controlling ex I am hyper aware of red flags and I genuinely haven't seen anything that makes me give pause. Bar monopoly 😂
Fingers crossed!

Oh and definitely do not want children (and neither does he) @Musttryharder2021 so hopefully that won't be a factor!

I had sex with my partner after 40 minutes of meeting him as the attraction was instant . I couldn't believe that someone could be so funny too, he makes everything joyful and is unfailingly kind and we are into our sixth year now and I feel the same. I think he does too. We have a very close bond. I hadn't ever felt the same about anyone in 40 years.

So glad to have found this thread! This is me right now. We’re both late 40s and divorced, I’d like to think intelligent, with good jobs, but it has blown both of us away. And we’re only 2 weeks in, not slept together yet!

It’s interesting to hear both sides, and it’s definitely one step at a time - and with due care and attention too!

Twice. Once was limerance and he was an unsuitable narcissistic wanker. But so overwhelming I could hardly function. For 3 years. The second was DH and we have been together for 17 years.

Ha @PeppermintTea2021 I did 3 whole dates!! The longest I've ever gone, and it was agony. I just wanted to take my time with him and do things properly as I have a history of jumping into bed first and working out if they are a decent person later. It hasn't worked so far..!
But I think that is a key point actually- we aren't rushing anything at all, but I feel so relaxed with that as I know he is mine and I intend for us to be together for a good time to come, that there is no need to rush.

Ah @PicpoulDeMeNay I hope it works for you. It still takes my breath away everyday. Long may it continue!

Yes - he was a narcissist and was love bombing and future faking. It was horrific.

Yes twice! First one nearly ruined my life, it was just a relationship of extremes and resulted in me getting a restraining order to stop him.
Second one is my dream man and just a brilliant person, no lows at all just steady happiness

Yes - when Dh and I met it was instant, we felt like we'd known each other all our lives. It just felt right. Moved in together a few weeks later and have been together now for 25 years!

Never play Monopoly with a partner - it can make or break you 😆 My dh likes to buy up all the expensive sites and stick houses on them so everyone else goes bankrupt and the kids strop off in a huff 😂

Yes...sadly, about 50% of the time this has happened to me, it has indicated that the man is slightly deranged. I have learnt to be very wary of thinking it indicates I have found a soul mate. It indicates that I really wanna have sex with them...SOMETIMES a deeper connection follows but only half the time

Yes - and we’re married now 🙂 told each other we loved each other within about three weeks! Really out of character for both of us.

What a wonderful update OP, I hope I am as fortunate as you with the guy I've recently started dating and already have some pretty big feels for

I was like this with my DH.
Been together 32 years now

Enjoy it.
I’m sure that most feelings like this don’t end up being the one side of the slow, insidious burn of weakened, passive aggressive bullies.
That is, the man being a covert narcissist - one who does all the clothes ripping off etc stuff and six months later tells you to calm down and stop annoying him.. and so on.
That chemistry and so on is GREAT. I hope this guy is also great.

Yes but he was love bombing me.

So enjoy but beware op.

Yes, with my ex.
It was fabulous while it lasted, and shattering when he upped and left, but on balance I'm glad to have known what it felt like.

Though I'd update this -

We've been together ten months now. Still an incredible connection and chemistry, but God I adore this man! He is endlessly kind and decent, always considers me and I love being with him. The chemistry is still strong but we're building on it and I know we have something built to last here. He is a good man and I've never felt this sense of being home with anyone before.

I've had this twice.

Once was an ex who turned out to be a nob

The other is dh who, after 22 years, has turned out to be a Not a Nob

YY to the sense of being home - I think that's how you 'know'.

@OrlandointheWilderness

Though I'd update this -

We've been together ten months now. Still an incredible connection and chemistry, but God I adore this man! He is endlessly kind and decent, always considers me and I love being with him. The chemistry is still strong but we're building on it and I know we have something built to last here. He is a good man and I've never felt this sense of being home with anyone before.

I'm jealous!

But enjoy!

I had this for the second time, 2 months ago.. to the point we planned a summer holiday, gigs etc, as far in advance as October! I had to end it due to his non existent libido and when we did have sex it was so incredibly bad.. Gutted tbh.. 😓

Yes the lust phase feels a lot more intense than long lasting love but sometimes does turn into that . I've had the connection with some right wankers as well though and love bombing can be a red flag and often a sign of insecurity so you're right to tread carefully

@Sunnytwobridges I am definitely enjoying it! Every time I wake up in his arms I feel such a sense of incredible peace I have to remind myself it is my life.

Ha @Dontsayyouloveme sorry to hear that. I'm bloody lucky, the sex is incredible and libido is fine!

Yes with a foreign fling that turned out to be entirely unsuitable, but lots of fun!

@LethargeMarg yes I think one of the wonderful things has been that there is no love bombing at all. Nothing too much, we've taken it really slowly and steadily. I told him I loved him after 8 months and he told me a couple of weeks later he did too. No grand plans or gestures, nothing overblown and suffocating. I've very firmly kept my eyes open!