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Original poster

Has anyone experienced such an intense chemistry with a new partner before?

249 replies

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/06/2021 21:03

I've just started seeing someone. From the second I saw him it has been overwhelming, there is an incredible pull towards him but a familiarity at the same time. Sexually it is like nothing I've ever experienced before. He is feeling the same - he brought it up the other day and said about it. It's like a craving, but instead of craving on a purely sexual level I'm craving him. We connect on an intellectual and emotional level too, it's effortless and feels as easy as breathing.

It's terrifying me quite frankly! We started seeing each other three weeks ago and I'm not a lovesick teenager, I'm a grown woman and he is a grown man. As back ground we've never met before but have mutual friends and he is pretty universally thought of as a decent, good man.
Does anyone have experience of this?!

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 09/07/2021 15:06

Yes, 22 years later and I still get butterflies if I see he is home when I don't expect him.

The moment he turned round and smiled at me, it was like being struck with a thunderbolt.

Chocolatebuttercream · 09/07/2021 15:09

My husband and I felt like this. We are very happy..Good luck OP

Amotherlife · 09/07/2021 15:11

Yes in my 20s. Felt like we could read each other's minds and understood each other perfectly. It did wear off though, and seeing traits I was unsure about, I eventually called it off. Married the next bf who was very different in every way. But have always missed my mindreader and wondered if it could have worked. We have kept in touch and meet up from time to time - there is still a massive pull. It's definitely emotional, not so much physical, though the chemistry was amazing back in the day.

StormcloakNord · 09/07/2021 15:14

Yep - he was an all round waste of space and a total twat.

DH was more of a slow burner but very worth it!

TwinsAndTrifle · 09/07/2021 15:18

Yes. And he was a narcissist who destroyed my mental health. It was real for me. I had no idea someone could replicate that for sinister reasons.

Destroyed my mental health.

People seem to fall into two categories here. The other person was genuine and they've been happily married for 30 years....or that person has damaged me severely. In my case, I will never be my former self again, from experiencing what I did.

I pray yours is the former xx

waitingforwinter · 09/07/2021 15:28

Yes...we were young and it was incredible 😅 he just had to look at me and I thought I was going to die 🤣🤣🙈 but he had a history of not always being completely faithful and I knew I knew I’d be devastated if things went that way so I ended things 😅 I’m a very guarded person and I hated the thought of someone having that much influence over my happiness 😬🙈

FWIW...he’s now married with kids, I’m engaged with a child and him and I are really good friends. We swap parenting tips now 🤣

Justgettingbye · 09/07/2021 15:41

If only the sex lasted 🤣

Nononsense2 · 09/07/2021 18:12

Yes twice. The first was an on and off relationship that lasted 6 years because of the chemistry as we weren't compatible with each other but the sexual connection was incredible. The second was with dh. During the honeymoon period we couldn't get enough of one another. Lucky to have found someone who not only fulfills me physically but also emotionally.

serenenadine · 09/07/2021 19:06

@OrlandointheWilderness

Just to be clear it isn't a sexual thing - yes there is an element of it there, and the sex is utterly incredible, but it does go far past that. And I'm pretty well versed on love bombing - there has been no warning signs that I've seen from him. I am also completely aware of everything that can go wrong here. That why I posted really - this is scary! Wonderful, but terrifying.
I hope you are not a friend of mine who cannot see the wood for the trees and thinks everyone is wrong and what you have is this amazing cosmic connection. If you are. He is a cheat. He will always be a cheat and you are destroying your children's lives with your selfish behaviour. If you're not. Good luck.
Mischiefofmice · 09/07/2021 19:46

Be very careful. I experienced the same. He turned out to be a covert narcissistic. Please read up on it and just be mindful……

NeverEnoughJs · 09/07/2021 20:23

Yes, met as teenagers, pure love at first sight. We tried to be sensible and ignore it, ended up living in different countries but got together on and off for years. He wouldn't commit to a proper relationship and after a conversation where he said he wasn't interested in settling down, which by his actions looked more like he wasn't interested in settling down with me, I married someone else.

He later told me it was the worst day of his life and we didn't speak for a few years because it was too painful for both of us, by which time he was engaged and although I was invited to his wedding, we agreed it was best that I didn't go because of how hard he'd found mine. It was a destination wedding over the same weekend as my 40th birthday and all our friends were there, which I found extremely hurtful. We then left each other alone again because I thought that was very shabby behaviour so each marriage had a chance to work.

He got in touch again over lockdown and nothing has changed, it's like an addiction to each other, physically, mentally, emotionally, we have the most intense connection. The air crackles with it, it's mad. We're still married to other people and haven't acted on our feelings beyond meeting up for a walk or cup of tea a couple of times, to talk things through. I wish he'd asked me to wait for him and he regrets not realising or not saying in time that he wanted me to wait.

No idea what'll happen in the future. I hate being around him because we're not together but I feel like I can't live without him either, which is torture. He wants to be friends and talk every day, I think that's EA territory, which I don't want.

inmyslippers · 09/07/2021 20:48

He sounds a right head fuck neverenoughjs

NeverEnoughJs · 09/07/2021 20:57

@inmyslippers if I had £1 for every time I was told to stay away from him...

StartingAgain33 · 09/07/2021 20:58

Yes but it didn't work out!

Thoughtcontagion · 09/07/2021 21:17

Yep, someone through work, just took my breath away. Absolute arsehole really but he still wanders round my thoughts like he owns the damn place

Wherediditgo · 09/07/2021 22:12

No. This has never happened to me Sad

BustyDusty · 09/07/2021 22:30

Yes. Once. A total stranger. I was working with a team of people for a day and he turned up to take part. It certainly wasn't lust. I don't know what it was. But it was the most magical thing. We couldn't stop staring at each other. Felt we'd known each other forever. Couldn't stop talking to each other, like a mad scramble to get each other's life histories. I had to stand next to him a few times and it was like being electrocuted. It was the staring I can't forget. Couldn't take our eyes off each other and all the time smiling - like we'd found each other when we didn't even know we were looking. It sounds embarrassing. It WAS embarrassing. The whole team witnessed it and were wise and kind. Nobody took the mickey or got cross. (We had a lot of work to get through that day and everyone found it difficult to concentrate)

It was frightening and confusing. But also wonderful. A very special love-at-first-sight that I'm grateful to have experienced.

We kept in telephone contact a few times afterwards and met up in a group situation once and the connection was still there and so strong. But he was married and it didn't go anywhere. For which I'm also thankful. It would have been messy.

I did go on to get married but I never felt such an intense, immediate and loving connection with my (now ex) husband and doubt I will again.

BunnyRuddington · 09/07/2021 23:12

Yes and I strongly suspect he was a psychopath and he was definitely a a sociopath.

AddsVsGeorgs · 09/07/2021 23:14

Yes, Completely

Such a weird feeling, never felt like that.

5 years later, i still am amazed how i felt that ‘pull’ towards him.

So weird !

Onalake · 10/07/2021 03:29

The day I met my dh on his first day at work I told a friend I had met someone I would fall in love with. He did pretty much the same with a friend of his a couple of days later. We moved in with each other 6 months after that first day, and have been together 19 years now. We haven't always had it easy but have always had each other.

Radio4ordie · 10/07/2021 03:51

Yes. Together 20 years

HandyWoman · 10/07/2021 11:45

Oh yes. Unbelievable attraction.

5-and-a-half-years later and need to split with him as he is a passive crap partner in the sense that he hides away from responsibility and communication.

As there’s so much love and friendship am struggling. Hating him entirely would give this relationship the swift blow to the head it needs! But no, I’m on the long slow struggle to extricate myself… Hmm (he won’t end this. It would involve the taking of responsibility!)

Could go either way, so good luck OP!

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/07/2021 11:47

@Naaaaah

no, never. no one before you has ever experienced a deep sexual/emotional connection with someone. you are the first.
😂👍👍 Honestly, op, you sound like a teenager.
Original poster
OrlandointheWilderness · 11/07/2021 23:39

Erm @serenenadine definitely not me! I don't touch cheats, never have, never will.
At risk of repeating myself, I am certainly not being blind, swept away or stupid - I am not a lovesick teenager and I have my eyes firmly open. I will not be bringing anyone into my life who I don't deem as being bloody worthy of being there, a fact which I am well aware you cannot know after such a short time.
I wasn't suggesting anything so naive and ridiculous. I was simple curious about other peoples experiences.

OP posts:
dryasaboner · 12/07/2021 10:27

@inmyslippers

Yes he turned out to be a narcissist and was love bombing me
Yes yes yes!
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