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Original poster

Has anyone experienced such an intense chemistry with a new partner before?

249 replies

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/06/2021 21:03

I've just started seeing someone. From the second I saw him it has been overwhelming, there is an incredible pull towards him but a familiarity at the same time. Sexually it is like nothing I've ever experienced before. He is feeling the same - he brought it up the other day and said about it. It's like a craving, but instead of craving on a purely sexual level I'm craving him. We connect on an intellectual and emotional level too, it's effortless and feels as easy as breathing.

It's terrifying me quite frankly! We started seeing each other three weeks ago and I'm not a lovesick teenager, I'm a grown woman and he is a grown man. As back ground we've never met before but have mutual friends and he is pretty universally thought of as a decent, good man.
Does anyone have experience of this?!

OP posts:
dryasaboner · 12/07/2021 10:36

Yes

He turned out to be married and the most ridiculous snivelling liar so it's no indication of how things will end up sadly

AnotherHumanPerson · 14/07/2021 18:35

Yes I have and it made me question how much love I felt for previous partners, including my ex husband who I was with for many many years.
We had an instant connection or spark, but for about 4 months of seeing him everyday I never saw him in that way as he wasn't 'my type' but when we got together, it was like something I couldn't have dreamt up, like I've always thought of myself as a realist, Disney isn't real and you can't get all your needs met in a single person etc. But I was wrong it is possible it seems!
For the first few months I was waiting for the other shoe to drop waiting for the 'something' but we've been living together for 10 months now and our relationship is stronger, less intense but a more secure love.

waterjungle · 14/07/2021 18:57

Yes. I was 20. He was on my course at uni. I remember running down hill in a field and us both stopping at the same time and looking at each other. It felt like and electric shock. I couldn't believe that he didn't feel it. A few weeks later when we actually got together he is asked me if I had felt the bolt of energy that went between us too. Unfortunate he 3 years down the line he ended up being the biggest man child narcissist I ever had the misfortune of trusting.
During the 18 months of utter heart break getting over him I was trying to talk myself into going to a party. I had decided to stay home until a little voice in my head said - You may meet your future husband. I was there an hour and he very obviously wasn't. Until.........I saw someone walk through the door and there he was! It was like recognition, there you are, I've been waiting for you! 15 years later and 2 kids and he still annoys the hell out of me but I do love him, the big stuff lot arse.

Bookaholic73 · 14/07/2021 18:59

Yes, and we were married within 15 months.
Together 3 years now, and very happy.

Ting20161987 · 14/07/2021 19:04

Yes and we have been together 10 years. Married 8 and we are still exactly the same. The intensity is difficult to get used to but it has never left us, we both feel the same and sexually it is intense still now. Watch sexlife on netflix ha ha

Bluesheep8 · 14/07/2021 19:30

I think it's pretty common to feel like that 3 weeks into a new relationship.

MagicalCreatures · 15/07/2021 00:03

Yes. We were together 17 years ago for a little over 2 years.
We broke up but remained friends, still sleeping together when we weren't in other relationships.
After not seeing each other for 8 years and both getting divorced, the chemistry is still there and I fancy him like I did (if not more) 17 years ago.
Everything about him is like a drug I have to have. He feels the same.

JanuaryJonez · 15/07/2021 00:47

Bumping as have to go to bed, but what a lovely thread OP!!

Nat6999 · 15/07/2021 01:13

Yes, my late dp, we met when I was on a night out in town with people from work, he was staying in my city for a sports competition he was in. It was like we had always known each other even though he was 14 years younger than me, we arranged to meet for a day out soon after & we just walked & talked all day, it was lovely, within a couple of weeks we were living together most of the time, ds liked him & dp looked after him like he was his own. We could talk about anything, he liked the same music I did, we liked the same TV programmes & sport. We were both very quiet people until we were together & then we never stopped talking, we never had much money but we spent time after ds was in bed cooking a meal together, we went for days out during school holidays, took a picnic, ds could run his energy off. I loved the sport he played & went with him whenever he played or practiced. Within 3 months of meeting I felt more loved & secure than I ever had during my marriage, we both would have done anything for each other.

DazzlingHaze · 15/07/2021 01:41

Yes!! Felt exactly like this when I first met my boyfriend! I was 25, had had 3 boyfriends and a fair few flings before him but I've hand on heart never felt anything like it. We've been together a year and a half, so still early days, but we're still so loved up.

I still get so excited to spend time with him and my belly flips when I see he's sent me a text etc and our sex life just seems to improve the more we get to know each other. In previous relationships by this point the cracks had well and truly began to show and a lot of them didn't even make it this far.

I've never felt content in relationships. I genuinely thought for years there was something wrong with me because I always felt like there was something more out there but since I met my boyfriend those thoughts and feelings have all gone quiet, I feel so fulfilled and at peace. And I know things will change and not be so passionate if we have children etc in the future but I feel so sure that feeling of peace and comfort and contentment will see us through.

Hopefully I haven't jinxed it by writing all that slush Grin

Enjoy it OP and I hope it all works out for you!

starrynight21 · 15/07/2021 03:18

Yes, my DH. We talked for 9 months online, and it was getting very strong even then. I flew to his city, got off the plane and walked straight into his arms. We drove to a hotel and we stayed in the room for a week, living in bed and eating room service.

We were not kids - I was 43 and he was 54 - but this was like nothing we'd ever experienced before.

We've been together for 18 years now, married for 13, and nothing has every changed. I still feel a jolt when he appears , it's really wonderful. And he feels the same . It's a wonderful feeling to be with the right person - we both think it was worth the wait.

Maggiesfarm · 15/07/2021 03:54

Yes I have felt that.

It doesn't always last. Enjoy it for as long as it does - which could be forever.

TeddingtonTrashbag · 15/07/2021 04:11

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

TeddingtonTrashbag · 15/07/2021 04:20

Yes I have a few times and with my STBXH.
Am so grateful to have had that -it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t last -just enjoy it!

Ladybug123 · 15/07/2021 06:49

Yes it was limerance, it was during my dating days and it was crazy making.

I see someone posted a link above.

Look it’s great when this turns out to be a long term relationship, even marriage BUT slow down.

It’s not unusual for men to love bomb. It’s not unusual for a woman to be the bees knees until it all becomes too real and they ghost you or drop you.

He could be everything you want him to be, he could be quite the opposite, please just be aware of that. Enjoy it but with a dose of realism.

TeddingtonTrashbag · 15/07/2021 08:36

Enjoy it but with a dose of realism
This.
Much easier tho’ if you are older and have had kids/ no desire for remarriage and so it is just fun.
This thread is very timely for me (thanks OP!) because totally unexpectedly am experiencing same. Is like a drug and I can’t eat and no desire for alcohol -presume it is the chemicals produced that provide the high that food or drink normally would? Everything is heightened and am enjoying everything more now, not just seeing him.
But….will not be handing over my life savings or making dramaric life changing plans!

SVRT19674 · 15/07/2021 10:07

Yes, once, with that intensity you are referring to. I was 17 he was 20. I read a couple of years ago about limerence, so that is probably it. I am 47 now and all my other relationships have been much calmer. Wish I had read about it all those years ago...

Crikeyalmighty · 15/07/2021 10:35

Very much so when I met my H and for many years after . I still think he’s an attractive interesting and intelligent man— I just know the shittier side of him which started slowly after about 5 years when his feet were firmly under the table— and that rather takes the gloss off the amazing connection. I’m sure many ladies on here have been in very similar positions or the majority wouldn’t marry/ move round the world etc unless they originally had that connection— sadly it doesn’t always last forever but delighted for those that it does

LittleMissUnreasonable · 15/07/2021 19:11

Yes I had this when I was younger (not teenager years) and he felt the same. He was the person I could go for one drink with at 5, and have not realised the time and last orders are being called. He was also very self gratifying, impulsive and he had a girlfriend...that fucked me up for a long time afterwards. I felt utter heartbreak.

I'm now with DP who is the polar opposite, caring, warm and we match on a moral basis. I love him and can see what I have with him is more precious than with ex who would have run away when the next shiny thing came his way...

Original poster
OrlandointheWilderness · 16/07/2021 11:11

Oh I am taking it very slowly, I am fully aware of limerence and there has been no love bombing at all from either side. I certainly intend to enjoy it but my feet are firmly on the ground.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrlandointheWilderness · 23/01/2022 23:32

To anyone interested I thought I'd update...

We've been together 7 1/2 months. He is the kindest, most lovely man who treats me with respect and love and I just adore him. The chemistry is still incredible, I physically cannot get enough of him! 😂 but more importantly I can talk to him, he talks to me and everything is so easy and effortless. We are taking things slowly of course, and he isn't perfect - he gets grumpy when losing at monopoly! 😂

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 24/01/2022 00:06

Oh that's lovely to hear OP, thanks for updating.

I had this with someone for 6 months but it very sadly wasn't meant to be. Glad for you though and will keep my fingers crossed. Oh and btw, how did you meet him?!

Musttryharder2021 · 24/01/2022 00:43

I felt like this (before I had a child) with an ex partner. It was all pure chemistry and intensity. We were both wild about each other.

However, since having a baby and reconnecting with him (we broke up because I wanted a child and he didn't) all that chemistry had dried up, I couldn't believe it! I'm certain now a lot of it was hormone-driven (a desire to procreate with a suitable mate?!). I just couldn't feel that intensity even though he didn't change (we broke up a year ago). It makes no sense...and I haven't met anyone else either.

Enjoy it Op while it lasts!

PepInYourStep · 24/01/2022 03:41

Yes. Couldn't believe it. Unforunately it turned out later that in some significant ways, we were not compatible. The wrench was awful.

Milomonster · 24/01/2022 07:46

@OrlandointheWilderness this has put a huge smile on my face. Gorgeous thread and update. I hope to experience this again.