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Original poster

DH wanting to split, he wants me to leave the house

360 replies

SisterNight · 08/06/2021 11:09

DH wants us to split. We are joint tenants in a council property. DH works full time and I'm a SAHM. I had to leave my part time job 3 years ago on medical grounds due to my health. We have 3 dc. I have no family in the city we live in so would probably have to move back to my parents who live about an hour away. He works from home so is able to do all the school runs etc.

I have no savings or any income. I don't want to leave my children. I need some advice. Please help!

OP posts:
romdowa · 08/06/2021 11:11

Tell him no! Then get yourself some legal advice. Citizens advice can put you in touch with somewhere.

ShinyGreenElephant · 08/06/2021 11:11

Absolutely do not leave the house

Aliceinunderland · 08/06/2021 11:11

Don't leave! He can't force you if it's in both names. Can you speak to a solicitor or rights for women?

BluebellsGreenbells · 08/06/2021 11:11

Absolutely not!

You need to speak to the housing officers for advice, and a solicitor.

CagneyNYPD · 08/06/2021 11:12

Do not leave your home. How old are your dc?

flapjackfairy · 08/06/2021 11:13

No don't leave your children. He can't make you leave. You are the main carer so tell him to go then look at benefits and maintenance etc.
If you are joint tenants he can't decide these things.

Moonshine11 · 08/06/2021 11:14

Do not leave your house.
Your main carer. He can’t force you out being joint tenants

MaybeCrazy2 · 08/06/2021 11:15

Don’t leave. He can though!

Original poster
SisterNight · 08/06/2021 11:16

His argument is that he earns the money so he should keep our house. Dc are 6, 11 and 12. I don't want things to get nasty. My 11 year old has ASD and is extremely sensitive to things.

OP posts:
Original poster
SisterNight · 08/06/2021 11:16

He thinks I won't be able to stay because I have no income.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 08/06/2021 11:17

He can earn money so he can rent a house.
Do everything you can to stay.
Having a council tenancy will help you so much.
I was in a similar situation and it was a lifesaver.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 08/06/2021 11:17

Are you entitled to benefits in your new circumstances? Surely you would be?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 08/06/2021 11:18

Please get some support. Things don't have to get nasty if you object to his proposals unless he chooses to be nasty.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 08/06/2021 11:21

Absolutely don’t leave your home and children-you will never get them back. Stand firm. If he wants to split then he can go. You can claim benefits and survive-it will be tight but you will survive. He is earning so he can rent. Don’t leave your secure council tenancy.

AlmostSummer21 · 08/06/2021 11:21

Tell him to fuck right off.

Start a new thread 'please help me with benefits' there are some very knowledgable posters who will help you claim what you can.

DO NOT LEAVE your home or your kids. The council/Govt will help you & the kids stay in the house.

He can find somewhere else to live. Wanker.

I get that you want it calm for your kids, but think of the big picture, they won't want you an hour away.

Don't let him bully you!

Viviennemary · 08/06/2021 11:22

No you absolutely shouldn't move out. Does he mean you should move out and leave your children with him. Absolutely not. And you will be able to stay and claim benefits, but might need to work at least part-time unless you are exempt on medical grounds.

Pet8 · 08/06/2021 11:26

Please get in touch with your housing officer. My housing association have welfare/ disability rights; fuel debt and other advisors and have been invaluable over the last couple of years.

PennyDreadful66 · 08/06/2021 11:28

I think you can apply for benefits even with him living there and explain your no longer a family unit and he isn't paying for family life as such and get some income as well as legal advice, he can't force you to move out, you're joint tenants.

Mousemay · 08/06/2021 11:29

You will have income if you claim for benefits and child tax credits. The rent will be paid for you. Go to your local council and ask to speak to there money advice team. They will help look at what your entitled to and help you claim for it. Let them know he is trying to get you to leave the house. Do not leave the house! Phone the local council today to get an appointment before he forces you out. He is the working party so it is easier for him to find rented accommodation.

BusyLizzie61 · 08/06/2021 11:30

Even with no income, you'd be eligible for housing benefit as renting.

He's trying to be clever and "win" the house and children!

You need to accept the relationship has ended and seek lots of advice and support about how to move forward. Including possibly having him forced to move out.

I would suggest that you state that mediation is needed for how to proceed with a view to going to court re the children.

Do not leave the home and make yourself homeless.

Celandines · 08/06/2021 11:32

What a prince of a man. You stay he goes

Zoinksalot · 08/06/2021 11:33

This reply has been deleted

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timeisnotaline · 08/06/2021 11:35

Your ex: I’ve got money so should keep the house.
You:youve got a job so should go pay for a rental and then the children can do overnights with you since I’m the main carer. Otherwise you will just lose your job i if they get ill, unless your plan is if they are unwell to throw them on the streets after me so you can work? A mediator will help us decide plans that benefit the children, I’m staying here and you can organise mediation if you are so keen to get rid of me.

Zeev · 08/06/2021 11:36

Do NOT leave the house. He is already being nasty.

Bythemillpond · 08/06/2021 11:36

He thinks I won't be able to stay because I have no income

Rubbish. Without him there you can claim full benefits.
I think it is very telling that he thinks looking after his children only involves doing the school run.

You are their main carer as he has a f/t job.

If he wants to split then he can be the one to leave. As he says he has the money so therefore is able to rent elsewhere

Time to get all the paperwork together. Evidence of how much he earns, pensions, bank accounts etc and get a free appointment with a divorce solicitor