Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Checking in 🙂

Checking in too

Thanks for the new thread 😃

Update from me..

Haven't seen MrM for over a month, nor spoken on the phone for a month and last text was over a week ago. Feeling pretty grim about it but that's how it is.

Tinder has dealt me two chats (my limit) to keep me occupied, no need to lob them back into the sea just yet, but not naming them either!

All a bit dull from me there sorry! Very much looking forward to others' update though 😃

Quick update - Decorator still texts every day, but he has stopped "morning" and "night" each end of the day, thank God. He may also have finished the decorating. I'm away at my mum's

Neckkisser, no contact.

Guy from last week - text keeping in touch daily but not onerous or pressured. Tentative drink next Friday (first evening I'm free since I met him last Monday!).

MrWG - some text contact, but he's still annoying that way in terms of not responding much. I expect if I said "find an evening" he would. But - not free now until Sat next week so am keeping my powder dry.

Checking in y'all. Not much to report - two chats on the go, can't see either of them going anywhere.

Checking in.

Checking in whilst dusting off the gladrags!! Waa hooo 🥰🥰

@GaraMedouar glad you got the date rebooked! Sweet he’s so keen. I’m just like you, spontaneity does nothing for me! Just makes me feel all discombobulated 🤣🤣 (I love that word!)

#teamstridingworm 🌟💘 !!

I’ve got another tinder coffee planned for this week.. hopefully Thursday, will call him Mr Gwen! He’s got 3 young kids that I think he has regularly so would have to see how that goes..I love my own space and seeing friends and wouldn’t want to see someone every minute of my free time anyway so could be possible.

Thanks for the new thread too @Dancerinthemoonlight.. hope you’re feeling a lil brighter? 💐

Thanks for the new thread @Dancerinthemoonlight

Thanks for the new thread @Dancerinthemoonlight quick update from me:
Mr O was my long term iron (20 months ish) and was hoping to rekindle exclusively after a little time apart but he seems to have ghosted me
Mr Polo is my Mr unavailable, essentially stood me up after 3 dates and occasionally tosses me a breadcrumb.
Mr RAF was a fwb but heavy focus on the F due to distance. He's the only one that seems to give a fig about me as a person.
There's a few others on the periphery but they're basically after sex and nothing more, not even friendship.
Yikes that's a depressing read! Where did I put those boundaries?! New thread, new attitude in order I think.

Morning all. I read but don't post much as you've all got it tied up with the whole advice thing it seems

I think I mentioned Mr finance. Well we met last week and got on like a house on fire. Chemistry there too although hard to tell over a table... Have been messaging and chatting on the phone since and meeting again tomorrow. It feels like we've known each other for ages when we talk. But I'm trying not to get carried away!

Had a date zero yesterday, last minute, but no spark for either of us I'm pretty sure. Happy Bank Holiday all 🌞

Checking in 🙂

Oh this thread is great! I've got one guy I've been chatting to for a few days. Nothing else atm, OLD seems a bit quiet

Thanks for the new thread @Dancerinthemoonlight

Still with Mr K but not really feeling it, I've mentally set a time in August to review our relationship as September would be 2 years and I don't want to get there feeling like this.

The reason I'm waiting until August is then it would be 3 months since the country opened up more and this gives him a chance for me to meet his friends and family and for us to go out more.

He has always said he is guarded due to being cheated on in his last relationship (and in his marriage) but I've realised that I need some hint that he does really like me, I have raised this in a roundabout way and he says of course he likes me otherwise he wouldn't come round to see me (whereas I think why wouldnt you come round when you get fed and have sex).
I mean my barriers are high but I still compliment him loads and tell him I really like him/fancy him.
I'm going to buy the Mr Unavailable book unless someone has a better recommendation?

He has met my parents and most of my brothers/sisters and some extended family just because they were about when we went somewhere (rather than an organised meeting) but I have met no one from his side except his son who thinks I am just a friend. Apparently everyone knows about me and asks after me and wants to meet me but who knows if this is true.
I know we've been together during lockdown (and we were FWB to start) so of course I wouldn't/couldn't meet them but I think within 3 months I should have met them.

I don't want to ever live with a man again so there is no pressure from that side.

God its a mess☹

Morning. I sent a message to the man who was slow fading me. It works better for me to be less passive otherwise it drags me down, it's possible I jumped the gun and he was genuinely busy but my gut didn't think so!

@sortingitout I was with a man for 2.5 years, totally immersed in my life but I was not at all in his. In the end it was, amongst other things, what broke us up. I felt like a distraction to his life as opposed to a part of it. Your internal deadline sounds like a good idea.

Thanks for the new thread @Dancerinthemoonlight

Not much to update from me. Things still going well with MrHair. We did adulty things yesterday and went out diy, plant and interiors shopping 😄 we have more time together planned from tomorrow for a couple of days as we both have some childfree time due to half term and we're looking forward to it 😊

@Bythecooker I forgot to mention that we don't have weekends together as he has his son every weekend.
Usually when people work Mon - Fri they would do couple things and meet family/friends at weekends but that is not an option for us so further limits when I would meet them.
I know last year he went to a few friends BBQs when permitted and as they fell on a weekend he took his son.

There are no plans for his son to know me as more than a friend which i am fine with as i don't want to be a step mum.

@Slothmomma Sounds like you and Mr Hair are getting on great🙂

Lovely update @Slothmomma 😁😁💕

@SortingItOut your situation sounds identical to mine with Mr P.
We're 18 months in now. He's met my dc and my parents. I've met no-one from his family. His dc are primary school age so he's very reluctant.
Like you, a lot of our relationship has been during lockdown so I'm keen to see how we are once things are fully open.
I tried to book us a spontaneous weekend away, he had an excuse why we couldn't do it. I've mentioned we go to the pub on several occasions and it just hasn't happened. Yet this Friday he's going with his mate. He told me he couldn't wait as he hadn't been to a pub for ages. Im not sure if he's just really old fashioned ( he's 52 ) and that he doesn't go drinking with girlfriends but it's really irritated me...
He even said " me going out doesn't stop us seeing each other you could wait at mine and I'll see you when I get home"...
So, like you I'm waiting to see if I'm going to be a part of his life or just a distraction.

Clovertoast, sounds like he wants to keep you indoors. Honestly I would not be putting up with anyone who did not make the effort to actually 'date' me. Coming around to yours is not a 'date'.

I've now got a last minute date zero with Mr Blue Eyes, but, due to what Mr finance is doing today we could possibly bump into each other and I feel a bit bad even though we've only had one date. We have 2 more lined up though... It's like buses!

And for those who are feeling not special, one thing I've learnt from my marriage breaking down is to listen to my gut and never to settle for less than I need

@Clovertoast I don't think I'm even asking for much, just to meet his nearest and dearest and then maybe once met to see them every 6 months or so.

Mr K has loads of friends and has started going out with them more now pubs are properly open.

The 6 months before lockdown we were FWB so I didn't expect to meet anyone, I'm worried I might have been a distraction during lockdown....

In 2020 we went out for meals a few times but I organised it and pre-paid for the meals (requirement of booking) and he did drinks which were about 1/3 the cost of the meal.
I think he offered money for food but I declined but I expected him to step up the next time as it was prepay again but he didn't so I'm not suggesting or booking anything and waiting to see how long it takes.
I've been out with friends loads and Mr K says we must go out but nothing so far🙄
I'm mindful his ex used him for his money and he's reluctant to do that again,my ex husband also used me to fund his spending addiction but I think I'm quite free with my money still.

I do know he is a terrible organiser because he mentioned meeting up with a friend soon and nothing more came of it until his friend rung him to firm up a date, I asked why he hadnt arranged the date before and he said he hadnt got round to it 🙄

Its so hard when you were FWB to start and both adamant you didn't want more to then move to a relationship where you know there are no plans to live together or merge finances.
I still want to be treated like a girlfriend rather than an exclusive FWB which is what it feels I am.

I hope things with Mr P resolve soon. Its awful living in a limbo land.

@Misty9

Such true words. There is far too much settling that we accept that makes us unhappy. My new internal test is if my friend was telling me this what advice would I give?
@Clovertoast, sorry but that does not sound like he's making you a priority in any way and I'm not sure waiting on helps. Longer status quo goes on harder it is to shift.