SO freaking out about my child

[Redcupcake]

Hi everyone today marks 7 months me and SO have been together. We are very happy together have a great romantic life and spend a good amount of time together talking and having fun. We are in a commited relationship so I thought it would be a good time to bring up the subject of my 5 year old son and maybe it was time i brought the two things I love together.

So SO has known from day one I am an only mother and there is no other man on the scene (so no drama) I make my own money and have my own place so I stressed the point that this is nothing more than them meeting so maybe we could progress our relationship.

I asked him over breakfast and his initial reaction was "I don't think it is a good idea, why is this so important to you" and honestly that reaction broke my heart. We went back to his place and had a small argument about it, him not wanting to meet my kid and saying things like "Why rock the boat when we are happy" "What if he gets attached to me and something happens?" stuff like that so it got pretty heated and I left saying, we both need a couple of days to calm down and think, he agreed and stressed as I was leaving WE ARE NOT BREAKING UP.

My question is i guess is what if I go to his place next week like i usually would and he decideds he STILL doesnt want to meet my kid?
Thats realationship over right? how do I go on from there and why does he think we can be together without my child.

I don't want to break up with him, but if he can't accept my baby Then i have no choice right?

Am i being unreasonable?
Thank you

Thanks for the response,

He practices the "mindful art" where he lives in the moment and doesn't think about the future. As a mother that isn't practical and If he declines meeting my child but doesn't say if he wants to do it in the future either that doesn't really help.

But im scared he wants me but will never accept my child, So i have to break it off I know that. It's hard when there is absoloutly nothing wrong with the relationship apart from the fact he isn't willing ... or is making me wait without contact for a few days until he makes up his mind.

He practices the "mindful art" where he lives in the moment and doesn't think about the future.

In other words he's a flakey fuckwit. A man like this would be an anchor around your neck.

NEXT.

The relationship isn't serious enough for him right now, after several months I think you need to decide if this is good enough for you.

Exsactly what my mother said, he tells me I'm being dramatic and need to learn to live in the moment and stop worrying about tomorrow. .. Hard when you have a 5 year old

@seensome I know if he doesn't come round over the weekend and agree it has to be over becaus eI guess i deserve someone who will love me enough to meet my child too.

@Aquamarine1029 I needed that

This is just not right. Whatever he may say, his idea of a relationship is just about what suits him. I would end this now.

@Undertheoldlindentree I know you are right. And i feel like a bad mother for even hesitating and asking the question.. its just been such a long time since I have been happy with a man but when it came to the BIG question he let me down

Put your child first please. The fact you’ve been with this person for 7 months and call him your significant other, but hasn’t met your child is not right. It’s been 7 months not 7 weeks. He clearly only wants the relationship on his terms and has no intention of meeting your child. Dump and find someone who is excited to be a part of your whole life.

@AllyBama thank you

I told him it was quite minipulative behaviour and he told me I was dramatic and not in charge of my feelings and I am CHOOSING to be upset ect

Thank you, i think I am seeing him on Monday for his 'Decision' but i will break it off... I can't do it before hand because he doesn't use his phone when he is having his 'meditation days'

@AllyBama and just a disclaimer I do put my boy first and always will. this is my first BF since my divorce and I really wanted it to work. Maybe I should not if made this post, I guess I am just sad I can't have him because he doesn't want the full packagae. I will obviously break it off with him, but im still really upset. Does that make sense?

Every time you post he sounds worse. Gotta get rid I’m afraid.

@Tlollj One day i might post something positive haha I guess i'm just naive with men, need to toughen up a bit. My mum said I see the world through heart shaped glasses

@CrazyNeighbour He is anti porn and doesn't own a xbox or laptop... ive never seen him turn the TV on ... I truly believe he is meditating lmao maybe me and him are to different

Meditation days?!!

I think you've set your bar too low OP.

@Providora yeah he doesn't always do this only when we have a disagreement, he says .... We're both to close to the situation, we need space. Then he goes on to say "I care about you, you are safe and you are loved... I will speak to you in a few days"
At first I thought he was super cool and quirky but now speaking to everyone, maybe he is minipulating me

@Redcupcake

Thank you, i think I am seeing him on Monday for his 'Decision' but i will break it off... I can't do it before hand because he doesn't use his phone when he is having his 'meditation days'

This cannot be real?!!!!

Not sure about wanking plus x box day. I would say more likely other girlfriend day.

@Jennyfromtheculdesac
So basically quick about him. When we spend days together he is always reading self help books and meditating. He puts alot of time into our relationship and i have tons of my stuff at his place. . . He just ... I don't know when ever we disagree on something he needs like 3 days no contact to "Think about it" but from what I have heard from our mutual friends and his roommate *Who thinks he is strange. He does just lock himself away and focus on meditating ect

I’ve known people like this and they are honestly trying to live a new age type life, and probably mean well, but they’re in no position to be in a relationship. It’s a selfish way to live and it doesn’t sound compatible with you and your son.

He sounds like hard work.

Don't take it personally in terms of him not wanting to meet your son, it just so happens that this has highlighted the fact that he's a self absorbed prick.

I would mediate away from him, pronto !