SO freaking out about my child

[Redcupcake]

Hi everyone today marks 7 months me and SO have been together. We are very happy together have a great romantic life and spend a good amount of time together talking and having fun. We are in a commited relationship so I thought it would be a good time to bring up the subject of my 5 year old son and maybe it was time i brought the two things I love together.

So SO has known from day one I am an only mother and there is no other man on the scene (so no drama) I make my own money and have my own place so I stressed the point that this is nothing more than them meeting so maybe we could progress our relationship.

I asked him over breakfast and his initial reaction was "I don't think it is a good idea, why is this so important to you" and honestly that reaction broke my heart. We went back to his place and had a small argument about it, him not wanting to meet my kid and saying things like "Why rock the boat when we are happy" "What if he gets attached to me and something happens?" stuff like that so it got pretty heated and I left saying, we both need a couple of days to calm down and think, he agreed and stressed as I was leaving WE ARE NOT BREAKING UP.

My question is i guess is what if I go to his place next week like i usually would and he decideds he STILL doesnt want to meet my kid?
Thats realationship over right? how do I go on from there and why does he think we can be together without my child.

I don't want to break up with him, but if he can't accept my baby Then i have no choice right?

Am i being unreasonable?
Thank you

Oh my word he sounds EXACTLY like an ex-friend/lover of mine. If you didn't sound so young I would think it WAS him (unless there is an age gap and he is in his 50s?)

This was 20 years ago so memories a bit faded as I've had a whole life since then but long story short... You will look back on this and be so glad you cut and run.

I don’t think he’s wrong, you’re just incompatible. I think by refusing to meet your child when he wasn’t ready, was the right call.

Personally I think it strange that you correlate him not wanting to meet your child with not caring enough about you. Some people are ready to ‘progress’ a relationship sooner than others, it doesn’t make them right.

You’re dating, exactly the time when you get to test your compatibility.

Sounds like this

For all his self help and inner reflection and meditation to cleanse his mind . . . he seems totally unable to deal with the basic premise of choosing to date a woman with a child and the reality of, . . oh I don’t know . . . . . . maybe having to meet that child sometime? Strangely, lots of other guys with boringly normal lives and 9-5 jobs and TVs can manage it.

Sounds like an utter fuckwit. You can do better than this - for you and your child.

This started out as a thread about him not wanting to meet your child after 7 months of you both seeing each other, and whether or not this ok.

Now, you can disregard whatever the answer to that question might be - it is irrelevant.

What became clear, as you explained more about this man, is that he is not anyone you should be spending time with ever again.

It must get be hard for you to come to terms with that though.

Beware of this visit to get your things.

He’s a selfish controlling creep. Get rid ASAP, he’ll just drag you in further with his ‘space’ (sulking, playing hot and cold) and being the boss of you in all situations with his mind-numbingly boring ‘mindfulness’ (manipulation). I had one of these at Uni, he was also fantastic at coercive control, same as yours. Was so happy and relieved when I got rid, although he did the usual for coercive controllers and started stalking me and threatened suicide. So watch out for these tactics, they hate their victim making any decisions of their own, it goes against their ‘mindfulness’ (controlling) vibes.

The freedom programme is available online, please sign up for it so you avoid dating twats like this again in the future.

OMG OP that was a rollercoaster!

Started out thinking you were maybe being a bit ahead of him and it would work out ok, kept reading and could see why you posted, he seemed a slightly comical and annoying character...now?
Who died and made him the boss of you? He gets to tell you how you're feeling and decide for you whether something is good for you or not?

He wants you to both be mindful and respectful of each other does he? Well that's a laugh isn't it! He wants it all his own way and is actually quite manipulative and pretty shit.

Tell him and his man bun (jk) to f-off to the far end of f. If he wants to be mindful, he should treat people better or it's just an excuse to be a selfish shit with a gimmick.

He's Russell Brand, isn't he? This is just how I imagine being in a relationship with him* yuck, run far and run fast

*allegedly, your honor

He sounds like a manipulative controlling isolating cretin.. an utter Prick.

Get your bits leave and block him. 🌸

What is he up to in Mexico? Or is he Mexican?

@ScrollingLeaves

What is he up to in Mexico? Or is he Mexican?

He's meditating 🤣

OP, you met him on New Year's Eve, so only 5 months not 7. Seems a bit soon for him to meet your son but he doesn't sound very keen anyway, unfortunately.

Please don't let him rule you by how he lives his life. Unsure as to why you handed back your bag of stuff you need for later in the week when he told you to, it's nothing to do with him.

Did you Ditch the Prick 🌺

Sorry OP I was just reading how he speaks to you and I am dumbfounded. I practice yoga and meditation and i hope if I spoke like that to someone they would hopefully tell me to sod off. He sounds like the spaceship will come to save you both next. Show him you are very in control of your feelings and are choosing to dump him. And if he is upset about it it is his choice to react like that.

How are you, OP? I have been thinking about you today. You have had a lot of negative comments about him (including from me, although light hearted about which actor might play him) but this was clearly a serious issue for you. Take care.

Run op...run fast.

What a prick! Who the hell does he think he is?

He gives me the creeps and I’ve never even met him!! Hope you’re ok op- you and your son are so much better off without him! How would he interact with your son when he doesn’t even know how to interact normally with you? He’s a manipulative douche!!

Is it over OP?

Well, the Bhudda walked out on his wife and family without a backward thought, so there's that template. Your O sounds like a total headfuck

@Redcupcake

Honestly OP, you need to tell him
'' I have heard you, and I respect your feelings, but I do not share them.
I need to follow my heart, and my son has my heart, totally and
unequivically, and this will never change.
For me, life is about never making decisions you will regret in the future, and my future is 1,000% with my sonat my side.
Anyone who cannot understand that we come as a team, now and for always, has no place in our future.''

Then collect your stuff and leave him to ''live in his now''.

I don’t think OP is here anymore.

Hmm