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Original poster

How often do men wash!?!

206 replies

woolyjumper21 · 21/05/2021 22:47

It’s really starting to bother me how often my partner has a shower! I have mentioned this to him a few times now but we are now on day 4 of him having no wash at all! I shower everyday however I realise a daily shower isn’t needed for everyone. But am I being unreasonable to think he should be washing at least every other day? All I can think about is that his body hasn’t been washed in 4 days and as much as I love him it’s really off putting. I haven’t even wanted to sit near him tonight. He seems to see it as a bit of a joke, or says “that’s boys for you!” He’s in his 40s by the way so he’s not a teenager! I would be interested to hear from men too as to how often they hit the shower! Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
joystir59 · 24/05/2021 19:43

@me4real
Thank you for that Grin

Sillawithans · 24/05/2021 19:48

Oh my god, his arse crack must be absolutely minging

SimonJT · 24/05/2021 20:16

@wobblywinelover

What is the point of having a 'strip wash' and washing out of a sink when it's just easier to jump into a shower for 5 minutes and far less messy. I've never understood that.

I hope the person doesn't have to 'strip wash' from a sink where her husband's knob has been every time he has a wee. Lol

Lots of people are unable to shower independently so rely on a strip wash when they don’t have assistance. People with disabilities exist.
bigbaggyeyes · 24/05/2021 20:33

We both shower daily

Does he brush his teeth daily?

StarlightLady · 25/05/2021 03:53

I wouldn’t have sex with someone who has not showered that day.

Pyewackect · 25/05/2021 04:25

You'd be surprised how many women have an aversion to soap and water. When I started my nursing training, we had to be given formal, written, standards of personal hygiene because a number of my fellow student nurses failed to wash on a regularly basis. I lived in NHS accommodation and I remember the Warden and Matron coming round to make sure we did. And it wasn't that long ago !.

wdmtthgcock · 25/05/2021 10:29

Lots of people are unable to shower independently so rely on a strip wash when they don’t have assistance. People with disabilities exist

Well obviously. And people saying Grandma and Grandad had/have strip washes - fine - in those days showers weren't commonplace everywhere, weekly bathing was a norm. My grandparents had a tin bath - the water was heated up on the stove once a week and then everyone had their bath - all 6 kids, 2 at a time.

But times have changed and I really don't see the point of a strip wash when it's just as quick to get in and out of the shower (assuming no disabilities which prevent this).
I think some people claim to have had a strip wash when they can't be arsed to shower and what they've actually done is wiped a grotty flannel over their armpits and put a bit of deodorant on.

billyt · 25/05/2021 14:09

I shower at least twice a day even if I'm not going out.

I worked on a site with a bloke once who reeked. Made me want to heave and eventually I refused to work with him.

Some people have no respect for others.

DateXY · 25/05/2021 14:58

"A daily shower is not needed for everyone" - since when? Confused

Any teen/adult is stinky after a day (sometimes before). If someone doesn't think they are, it's because they've become used to the smell of their own BO. Everyone else outside their home notices the reek though.

Where do all these smelly men on mumsnet come from?? I've never encountered anyone in real.life who doesn't think showering daily at minimum is normal.

Outbutnotoutout · 25/05/2021 15:14

My point about the "strip wash" was many elderly people did it, to the comment of my SO flopping out his penis and washing it in the sink after a wee.

I don't really understand the problem as long as he washes the sink after wards.

I like the fact he is clean 👌

LST · 25/05/2021 15:59

@DateXY

"A daily shower is not needed for everyone" - since when? Confused

Any teen/adult is stinky after a day (sometimes before). If someone doesn't think they are, it's because they've become used to the smell of their own BO. Everyone else outside their home notices the reek though.

Where do all these smelly men on mumsnet come from?? I've never encountered anyone in real.life who doesn't think showering daily at minimum is normal.

I don't shower daily and I assure you I do not stink of BO. What a twatty comment
Tigertalk · 25/05/2021 16:04

I think some people don’t realise they smell. Better to have a daily shower and ensure you don’t !

Sakura7 · 25/05/2021 17:35

Where do all these smelly men on mumsnet come from?? I've never encountered anyone in real.life who doesn't think showering daily at minimum is normal.

Yeah I agree with this. Between my family, DP's family, ex's family, friends I've stayed with/travelled with, etc, I've haven't come across one person who doesn't shower every day as the norm.

LST · 25/05/2021 17:37

@Sakura7

Where do all these smelly men on mumsnet come from?? I've never encountered anyone in real.life who doesn't think showering daily at minimum is normal.

Yeah I agree with this. Between my family, DP's family, ex's family, friends I've stayed with/travelled with, etc, I've haven't come across one person who doesn't shower every day as the norm.

How do you know? Did you ask them all?
coronafiona · 25/05/2021 17:37

We both shower every morning and then again after a run or workout, and if we ever get to out in the evening, before that too. It feels nice Grin

AuntieMarys · 25/05/2021 17:39

Daily...twice daily after exercise. 4 days is minging

Popcornbetty · 25/05/2021 17:40

'Where do all these smelly men on mumsnet come from?? I've never encountered anyone inreal.lifewho doesn't think showering daily at minimum is normal'

I think every other day sometimes is fine tbh if you haven't been doing anything strenuous and it it isn't hot weather or anything. I guess some people sweat more than others though. Each to their own.

Sakura7 · 25/05/2021 17:42

How do you know? Did you ask them all?

I said it in my post. People I lived with, stayed with or travelled with, so I know they went for a shower every day.

Or were you quoting the person I was responding to?

me4real · 25/05/2021 17:44

Any blokes I've been out with in recent years shower/bathe every night before bed I think.

I have to have a bath in the morning, (don't have a shower) as if I have one the night before I smell skanky by the morning from getting sweaty in bed.

FaceAcher · 25/05/2021 17:47

DH has a shower or at least a wash every morning.

And a shower or bath every evening after he exercises.

(Which is why some mornings he doesn't mind only having a wash as if he's working from home or it's a weekend sometimes he knows he'll be exercising earlier in the day and showering then anyway)

Acupofcamus · 25/05/2021 17:58

Fuck, he sounds grim! His dick must be completely disgusting after 4 days...

My DH washes every day.

Sakurami · 25/05/2021 18:06

My exes have been every day. My current bf every few days but he doesn't smell at all. And he doesn't wear deodorant either.

I have a bath or shower most days or at the very least a sink wash , so all the important bits get washed daily. I do share bathwater with my kids (now not as often as before) and if I'm with my bf he will use my bathwater after me so not wasteful. None of us thinks it's a chore though, but an enjoyable experience so it's never been an issue.

billy1966 · 25/05/2021 18:13

OP,

He's so grim.

Speak one last time and then decide is this something you are prepared to accept, knowing that it will render him unattractive to you long term.

I would say don't settle.
It will on deteriorate as he gets older.

He's taking you completely for granted.

Why do you think that is?

I'd firmly disabuse him of the idea that he is irresistible 🙄

HomeTheatreSystem · 26/05/2021 04:56

Can you perhaps have your shower first (just before you go out) then turn the stopcock off so he has no opportunity to wash himself. Make him go out as is and see if the experience of being out in public knowing he hasn't washed, which he clearly does care about, doesn't make him change his ways.

Tbh, as soon as you turn into his mum by asking him when he last showered, your sex drive and any lust you feel for him will very quickly die a death anyway.

daisychain01 · 26/05/2021 05:29

Having to remind an adult to have a shower and brush their teeth each day suggests their parents didn't parent very well. This is basic stuff OP. You're having to be your DHs 'parent' - which is the wrong order of things. I agree with a pp that he may be depressed and it would be worth you talking through things with him to find out if he needs support.