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Original poster

How often do men wash!?!

206 replies

woolyjumper21 · 21/05/2021 22:47

It’s really starting to bother me how often my partner has a shower! I have mentioned this to him a few times now but we are now on day 4 of him having no wash at all! I shower everyday however I realise a daily shower isn’t needed for everyone. But am I being unreasonable to think he should be washing at least every other day? All I can think about is that his body hasn’t been washed in 4 days and as much as I love him it’s really off putting. I haven’t even wanted to sit near him tonight. He seems to see it as a bit of a joke, or says “that’s boys for you!” He’s in his 40s by the way so he’s not a teenager! I would be interested to hear from men too as to how often they hit the shower! Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
opinionminion · 22/05/2021 08:11

LTB Grin

RantyAnty · 22/05/2021 08:18

Good grief how long have you been living together?
has he always been like this?

MyHouse2011 · 22/05/2021 08:26

@woolyjumper21 I hate to say it but your house must smell too just by him being there.

PinotPony · 22/05/2021 08:29

My ex would argue that it wasn't necessary to shower every day because we didn't live in a hot country. In winter he would usually go 2 or 3 days.

I thought it was gross and set a bad example to our boys. I encourage them to shower every morning - they're teenagers and really need to! I suspect they are less clean when they stay at their dad's...

Original poster
woolyjumper21 · 22/05/2021 08:40

We have lived together nearly 2 years. At first it’s something I never really noticed but then it’s one of those things that as soon as you notice it you can’t help but not to notice. So over the past year I have mentioned it several times, he will then get better but gradually it will get to the point where we are now. He doesn’t smell horrendous and I think unless you cuddle him you wouldn’t notice. But as his girlfriend I do not want to cuddle him or kiss him right now. And it’s off putting that he just doesn’t seem to be bothered in making the effort for me. It wouldn’t even occur to me to 4 days without washing and then cuddle up to him on the sofa.

OP posts:
Bayleaf25 · 22/05/2021 08:48

It’s not a man thing. DH showers every day (twice if he’s been for a run or gardening or really hot weather).

DS also showers every day and I’m fairly sure my dad does too.

I think not washing for that long would be a deal breaker for me.

Marineboy67 · 22/05/2021 08:53

I shave my head and face once a day after a shower. However the crown jewels & nipsy will regularly go for a splash in the sink before and after. Its important for your own self respect and towards your partner to be fresh and clean.

IsItJustMeOrYou · 22/05/2021 09:12

My DH showers twice a day everyday. After getting up and before going to bed. I can't stand the thought of getting into bed without showering to get the grime of the day off, DH is the same.

AhaShakeHeartbreak12 · 22/05/2021 09:22

Both shower daily

opinionminion · 22/05/2021 09:24

Seriously you need to question his respect for you/himself. I've been in this situation and I couldn't get past it.

SimonJT · 22/05/2021 09:25

I shower at least once a day, but its generally twice a day as I like a warm shower before bed, I have quite regular baths as well.

My husband isn’t such a regular showerer, he has a full shower on the days I was his hair/him so every third day, he sometimes gets in the bath with me. If he does shower alone he can’t really do any effective washing, so its fairly pointless. The important bits get washed when he goes to the loo.

Original poster
woolyjumper21 · 22/05/2021 09:50

We are going out tonight so I know he will have a shower today. So I think I will wait til he’s had one then make a comment about how long it’s been since his last one and that it’s not ok.

OP posts:
Mydarlingmyhamburger · 22/05/2021 10:33

If he’s losing motivation to do it in the night then I’d suggest he has one first thing when he gets up so it’s out the way then.

Rubyreddiamond · 22/05/2021 10:39

Both shower daily. I wouldn’t want to be intimate with someone who didn’t 🤢

Shoxfordian · 22/05/2021 11:02

He should shower every day
Tell him if he doesn’t then you’re done

Duskydai · 22/05/2021 12:03

DH and I both normally shower every other day on non-active days. And always after any exercise, long drive or sex. If my DH had a manual job like yours, he would definitely shower afterwards. The teeth thing I find really bizarre, you shouldn’t need to remind a grown ass adult to brush their teeth! Especially not on a regular basis Envy I can’t imagine any man I know skipping sex because he can’t be arsed to rinse himself off for 3 mins. You are on such different wavelengths I don’t see how you’re even managing a relationship with him

MrsKeats · 22/05/2021 12:07

We both shower every morning.
Sometimes have a bath at night too.
4 days is disgusting.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 22/05/2021 12:49

When he goes for a shower later I would ask him why is it necessary for him to be clean for other people but not for me?

Kitty2019 · 22/05/2021 12:57

Morning and evening at least. Sometimes another one if doing something active during the day

AndroidsAliensAndWizards · 22/05/2021 12:58

@Marineboy67

I shave my head and face once a day after a shower. However the crown jewels & nipsy will regularly go for a splash in the sink before and after. Its important for your own self respect and towards your partner to be fresh and clean.

I'm trying to understand why you have a shower (where you've already washed your penis I assume?), then fill a sink to dip your penis in, shave your head and face and then dip your penis in the sink again.

I'm on strong pain meds so maybe I've misread but if you've just washed in the shower do you need to use your sink as a sheep dip for your penis and balls before and after shaving your head and face?

Thefaceofboe · 22/05/2021 13:06

That’s disgusting. We both shower everyday (or bath) I just presumed that was normal...

Nicolastuffedone · 22/05/2021 13:38

We shower/bath morning and evening...

Strikethrough · 22/05/2021 13:48

Of course you can leave him for his lack of personal hygiene and refusal to buck up after you've mentioned it several times, OP, why on earth would you think that you couldn't!? Confused

If he has a manual job I would expect him to shower as soon as he gets home every day, not lounge about on the sofa Envy (not envy). This would also solve the problem of him getting "too comfortable" to shower. Doesn't he care that you're uncomfortable?

My husband showers every morning and will shower again later if he does something grubby/goes for a haircut or whatever.

Dogoodfeelgood · 22/05/2021 14:19

My DP showers every day, during wfh lockdown time this shower has sometimes happened after work (I am guilty of this too!) but it’s just because we might start working and then sort of forget/run out of time until after work. When he is in office it’s every morning without fail.

AdventCaroline · 22/05/2021 14:28

There is no difference at all in my extended family between how often the men wash vs how often the women do.

Everyone washes every day (apart from soap-dodging teen Dd, who has to be herded into the shower 3 times a week).

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