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Original poster

Would you take this as code for he's not interested? How would you respond?

199 replies

Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 18:16

I met a bloke through a mutual friend. We had a chat via WhatsApp and discussed seeing each other again, with him then saying "well let me know when you are free".

It's a blow off isn't it?
How would you respond to this

OP posts:
wishing3 · 17/05/2021 18:18

Suggest a time and then you’ll no but it doesn’t sound like a blow off. I get what you mean- usually people suggest a date.

Cowbells · 17/05/2021 18:21

Why not suggest a couple of options. If he can't do either of those dates and doesn't suggest another date, you'll know he's not bothered.

Fnib · 17/05/2021 18:22

I'm old, but in my time let me know when you are free meant just that. It seems so much more complicated now Confused

pinkmagnolias · 17/05/2021 18:24

I'd read it as he's not bothered either way.

If someone is really interested, they will ask you to meet up.

I learned the hard way (

ItsCokeFFS · 17/05/2021 18:25

I may be way off here, but I think it means "let me know when you are free"

I would respond by letting him know when I was free.

Or maybe just ignore it and then he will know that you aren't interested/can't respond to a simple question.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/05/2021 18:26

Just let him know when you're free!

jelly79 · 17/05/2021 18:27

Serious?? How is that a blow off??

Ragwort · 17/05/2021 18:34

Just let him know when you are free, give a couple of options. If he says neither work but does not offer an alternative then you will know for sure. Maybe he's trying to play it cool rather than look too keen.

I am another who is so glad I did my dating the 'old fashioned way' although I still remember agonising over boys I met at the youth club and wondering if they were keen or not Grin.

Original poster
Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 18:49

I guess I felt it is not very likely for a person to get back to someone they are attracted to with the dates they are available.

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date?
If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

OP posts:
Pollypocket89 · 17/05/2021 18:53

Why are you making it so complicated? Why would it be code?!

JorisBonson · 17/05/2021 18:54

@Fnib

I'm old, but in my time let me know when you are free meant just that. It seems so much more complicated now Confused
I'm only a little bit old and I thought that.

Just tell him when you're free.

14Tealights · 17/05/2021 19:02

Crazy idea but I'd probably just let him know when I was free 🤷🏻‍♀️

14Tealights · 17/05/2021 19:04

@Appleskyy

I guess I felt it is not very likely for a person to get back to someone they are attracted to with the dates they are available.

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date?
If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

There isn't a single script for doing life.

He doesn't livening your head so is asking you using the words he would use rather than the words you would use.

Tell him when you're free and see what happens next it's not complicated!

premium77 · 17/05/2021 19:06

Oh fgs you sound difficult! This man need to brace himself for what’s to come if even that type of message needs analysing. Just suggest when you are free.

TwinsAndTrifle · 17/05/2021 19:10

I'd take it as not interested. If he wanted to see you, he'd say, "Are you free Saturday afternoon for a coffee....Are you free next week for dinner...Are you free Monday for lunch?"

What he's actually saying is, you don't generate enough interest for me to want to see you and request several days that you might be able to meet me, he's saying, let me know when you're free, then I'll let you know if I fancy it by then.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/05/2021 19:12
Confused
LeaveHomeNow · 17/05/2021 19:17

Yeah I agree it sounds like not really interested, or he would suggest a time. Once you suggest, you will know for sure.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 17/05/2021 19:17

Jeez poor guy! You haven’t even started yet and he’s already being analysed Grin

He could have said “are you free on Monday for coffee?” and then you’d have wondered why you’re only good enough for a week day and who’s he seeing on Friday and Saturday night. Or he could have suggested dinner on Saturday and you’d have wondered if he doesn’t have a social life and is putting too much pressure on by making it an official dinner date instead of just coffee Grin

Take it at face value unless/until he gives you reason to think otherwise.

FWIW before I met DP a guy I knew kept suggesting going out for dinner/drinks and asking when I was free. I’d say “Tuesday and Wednesday evenings I’m kid free” and then tumbleweed until Thursday when he’d reply and ask again when I was free. It took me too long to realise that this wasn’t happening. In the end I told him he was crap at messaging and that if he wanted to see me he knew where I lived. And that was the end of that!! But he had given me good reason to think he wasn’t keen, whereas this guy is being cast as the villain before he’s even had a chance to blow you off.

14Tealights · 17/05/2021 19:19

@TwinsAndTrifle

I'd take it as not interested. If he wanted to see you, he'd say, "Are you free Saturday afternoon for a coffee....Are you free next week for dinner...Are you free Monday for lunch?"

What he's actually saying is, you don't generate enough interest for me to want to see you and request several days that you might be able to meet me, he's saying, let me know when you're free, then I'll let you know if I fancy it by then.

Or he might just lack a bit of confidence and prefer to ask for a few date options so that he doesn't have to deal with asking her out on a specific date, risk her being busy on that date and then having to decide whether she was genuinely busy or if it were a brush off and whether he should ask again.
Ikeameatballs · 17/05/2021 19:20

Just tell him when you are free!

MuttsNutts · 17/05/2021 19:21

Just tell him when you’re free ffs!

Don’t overthink it.

wildeverose · 17/05/2021 19:22

I mean - I'd take that as he wants you to let him know when you're free.

How the bloody hell is that a blow off. I'm so confused

Pyewackect · 17/05/2021 19:22

You sound hard work.

LittleBirdBlu · 17/05/2021 19:24

Just tell him when you are free Hmm

Bluntness100 · 17/05/2021 19:25

Blimey op. Why has he to suggest a date and not you? Is there some rule here that no one knows about except you?

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