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Original poster

Would you take this as code for he's not interested? How would you respond?

199 replies

Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 18:16

I met a bloke through a mutual friend. We had a chat via WhatsApp and discussed seeing each other again, with him then saying "well let me know when you are free".

It's a blow off isn't it?
How would you respond to this

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/05/2021 19:26

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date? If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

Like you would him if he asked you to suggest a date?

JustAnotherOldMan · 17/05/2021 19:38

Sounds like he wants to know when you are free.
How’s that a blow off ?

Once you respond with I’m free xxx days, only then you’ll know if it’s blow off

Imjustsootired · 17/05/2021 20:00

Jesus christ

Let. The. Guy. Know. When. You. Are. Free.

Hmm
FinallyHere · 17/05/2021 20:12

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date?

He might be not bothered, he might be letting you choose, he might not be sure whether you are interested and leaving you an easy out.

Would you like to see him again ? If so, what have you got to loose by saying I am pretty flexible, I could do Saturday morning or Wednesday evening , how would that work for you?

However, if you would rather have someone who wants to do the choosing, even insists that he gets to choose, or even never considered that you might have an opinion, maybe he wouldn't be right for you.

All up to you.

Windmillwhirl · 17/05/2021 20:23

He's being polite. He's letting you decide when you meet up.

TheUndoingProject · 17/05/2021 20:28

You’re massively overthinking it. Just tell him when you’re free.

anunexaminedlife · 17/05/2021 20:29

What?

KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 20:34

Not sure how you'd see this as a blow off? Sounds to me like he wants to know when you're free!

KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 20:36

@LeaveHomeNow

Yeah I agree it sounds like not really interested, or he would suggest a time. Once you suggest, you will know for sure.
Why does he have to suggest a time? Surely it works both ways?
Takeitonthechin · 17/05/2021 20:38

No, it's not a blow off.... he's asking when you're free to go on a date... let us know how it goes, hope you have a lovely time OP

MarshaBradyo · 17/05/2021 20:38

Ha you’re overthinking it

Just tell him when you’re free

Then up date thread with response ;

Skyla2005 · 17/05/2021 20:38

@Appleskyy

I guess I felt it is not very likely for a person to get back to someone they are attracted to with the dates they are available.

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date?
If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

Because he may not want to appear pushy. If he wasn't interested he would have said nothing
BoomChicka · 17/05/2021 20:40

Don't be weird just tell him when you're free and see what he says

Onesailwait · 17/05/2021 20:44

Maybe he's been on mumsnet & is afraid if he is to keen he'll be accused of love bombing or whatever the current buzz word is. If you want to set something up, let him know when you're free?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 17/05/2021 20:47

By telling him when I'm next free.

I'd actually prefer his way as it's less pressure and I can pick a day that really suits me. I don't think it's a keen issue, but more like he's putting the ball in your court and going at your pace.

WarwickHunt · 17/05/2021 20:51

OP to Dategeezer: "I'm free on Thursday or Saturday"

Dategeezer to OP: "Great, let me book something for Saturday"

OP to Mumsnet: "He's not keen. Why's he delaying meeting until Saturday when he could see me on Thursday?"

KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 20:52

Tbh I'd much prefer a guy to ask when I'm free than go through the whole are you free X day and me have to say no because work/DC/other responsibilities.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/05/2021 21:16

@KurtWilde

Tbh I'd much prefer a guy to ask when I'm free than go through the whole are you free X day and me have to say no because work/DC/other responsibilities.
This.

Also you say it's weird not to ask for a specific day if you are attracted to someone, but presumably you're attracted to him and we know you haven't asked him if he's free on a specific day either...

Hard work!

dramalessllama · 17/05/2021 21:25

I'd not respond.

TedHastingsweeDonkey · 17/05/2021 21:57

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey indeed. This hasn't even begun and you've already over complicated it...just let the man know when you are free and take it from there???

Viviennemary · 17/05/2021 22:02

I think its a bit loaded. I wouldnt bother unless you want to be led a merry dance. Seems like he's playing a game making you ask him. Red flag. I'd tell your friend you assumed he wasnt interested. She can pass it on and if he is interested let him contact you.

whatisthisinhere · 17/05/2021 22:03

I think you should leave it because you're obviously not interested. Otherwise you'd have let him know when you're free

Honeyroar · 17/05/2021 22:06

To me it’s just a perfectly sensible way of working out when you could meet up!

KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 22:09

I can't believe some people think this is a red flag Confused

Guavafish · 17/05/2021 22:09

Stopping playing games and give him times your free

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