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Original poster

Would you take this as code for he's not interested? How would you respond?

199 replies

Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 18:16

I met a bloke through a mutual friend. We had a chat via WhatsApp and discussed seeing each other again, with him then saying "well let me know when you are free".

It's a blow off isn't it?
How would you respond to this

OP posts:
MrsMaizel · 17/05/2021 22:11

@Appleskyy

I guess I felt it is not very likely for a person to get back to someone they are attracted to with the dates they are available.

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date?
If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

Just give him a few dates you are free 🙄🙄🙄🙄
TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 17/05/2021 22:16

Have I stepped into an alternative dimension where words have lost all meaning?

Tell the poor sod when you are available to grace him with your presence for chuffs sake Confused

AreTurnipsReal · 17/05/2021 22:18

He should have proposed to you by now. Why wont he propose? Does he have doubts? Maybe he doesnt like you?

Suzi888 · 17/05/2021 22:20

"well let me know when you are free". Do that Grin

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 17/05/2021 22:27

Have you actually answered the poor guy yet? He is probably on another forum with the following post:

Met a woman through mutual friends, swapped numbers & have text asking when she is free so we can arrange a date... that was hours ago, she's read the message but hasn't replied. Is she thinking of a polite way to blow me off?

me4real · 17/05/2021 22:31

I would think he's asking you to let him know when you're free. Grin

@Appleskyy It's the opposite of a blow off, he's asked you when is convenient for you to meet.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/05/2021 22:38

You not responding is going to indicate that you're not interested.
The irony 😂

Livelovebehappy · 17/05/2021 22:40

He might not be sure if you like him so doesn’t want to seem too pushy by suggesting a set day? So i guess by saying ‘let me know when you’re free” he is putting the ball in your court with no pressure. Or maybe I’m overthinking too!

Purplealienpuke · 17/05/2021 22:46

Ffs... why is that question so difficult? He's being polite, asking you when YOU are free!! You know, so you can tell him when YOU are available to meet him for coffee/lunch/dinner/whatever....
Just message the poor geezer and tell him when you're free or that you are far too paranoid to date anyone!!

tortoiselover100 · 17/05/2021 22:48

@ItsCokeFFS

I may be way off here, but I think it means "let me know when you are free"

I would respond by letting him know when I was free.

Or maybe just ignore it and then he will know that you aren't interested/can't respond to a simple question.

GrinGrinGrinGrin
KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 22:51

@GreyhoundG1rl

You not responding is going to indicate that you're not interested. The irony 😂
🤣
NiceGerbil · 17/05/2021 22:53

Let him know when you're free then!

I'm Confused

Although I do think dating is different these days.

TBH it could be the other way. Thoughtful.
If he said what about this. Sorry not free. This. Nope etc etc

If you let him know why when you're free then potentially he's thinking that he'll reorganise to see you!

So give him some dates and if he says none of them are any good then maybe think hmm is he interested.

Original poster
Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 22:56

Thank you all for your replies. For context, I was the one to indicate seeing each other again and that Is when he replied "well let me know when you are free".

I mean what else could he say, right!
I took it as a polite blow off.

With the full context, what would you think? As he did not say it off his own back so to speak, but a response to my initiation.

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 17/05/2021 23:01

Still not a blow off OP, even with context.

MaryThorne · 17/05/2021 23:06

@KurtWilde

Still not a blow off OP, even with context.
This ☝️ - let him know when you are free Smile
Yellowhighheels · 17/05/2021 23:07

I get it, OP, doesn't feel like a wildly enthusiastic reply. However, the ball is in your court, suggest a couple of times and see what he says. It's definitely not a clear brush off.

MadMadMadamMim · 17/05/2021 23:08

I can't see what the problem is.

I'd have texted back, Monday or Thursday are probably best for me next week. Either of them suit? Or have you got a better day?

It doesn't have to be that hard. If he is still dithering, then you can decide you can't be bothered. But I think at the moment you're over thinking it all.

Ohpulltheotherone · 17/05/2021 23:09

Christ sake!

Maybe he lacks confidence, maybe he is super laid back, maybe he doesn’t like to take the lead, perhaps he is genuinely easy going and available to meet anytime and thinks you’re a busier person....

It could 100 reasons why he’s not suggested an exact time and date.

Why not reply, “I’m free next weekend / next week / next month, would you fancy meeting for a XYZ at XYZ”

If he makes excuses and is non committal then you know where you stand.

It’s kind of unfair on him to assume he’s just messing you around, with no evidence and no reason to actually think that except for a perfectly reasonable, if slightly laid back reply

TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 17/05/2021 23:18

Nah, still not seeing the issue here.

Take him at his word OP and tell him when you're free. It doesn't have to be difficult. You're talking yourself out of dating him.

PineappleDreamer · 17/05/2021 23:25

You have nothing to lose by saying ' I'm free next Tuesday or Friday evening so give me a shout if either of those work for you'

And THEN you can assume no interest if JE responds in a lukewarm fashion

NoMLMbots · 17/05/2021 23:25

@LittleBirdBlu

Just tell him when you are free Hmm
This
Bbub · 17/05/2021 23:32

This is hilarious as I have a guy who asked a few times can I meet on x day and I never could make the date so was always saying no and having to counter suggest something. Then he would then make a further counter suggestion. It's become really annoying 😅

Just bloody tell him when you're free and you will find out pretty sharpish if he's interested

Lol @dramalessllama

Wegobshite · 17/05/2021 23:34

FFS he asked you to let him know when you are free - what part of that don’t you understand - did he write it in a foreign language and you use google translate - what exactly is complicated about what he wrote . Is on line dating really that hard .
If you analyse everything that the poor bloke writes I pity him .
You sound like incredibly hard work if you do this crap with every guy you meet then I’m not surprised your single

HalzTangz · 17/05/2021 23:34

@Appleskyy

I guess I felt it is not very likely for a person to get back to someone they are attracted to with the dates they are available.

Why would he not just ask if I'm available on such or such date? Rather than asking me to get back to him with a date?
If he was genuinely interested he would have suggested a date, would he not?

Or he would as when your free so he can schedule to be free the same day. I think you are over thinking
HalzTangz · 17/05/2021 23:36

@Appleskyy

Thank you all for your replies. For context, I was the one to indicate seeing each other again and that Is when he replied "well let me know when you are free".

I mean what else could he say, right!
I took it as a polite blow off.

With the full context, what would you think? As he did not say it off his own back so to speak, but a response to my initiation.

I would still think he wants you to pick a date and he'll free his schedule to meet you. Send him date and see what happens