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Original poster

Would you take this as code for he's not interested? How would you respond?

199 replies

Appleskyy · 17/05/2021 18:16

I met a bloke through a mutual friend. We had a chat via WhatsApp and discussed seeing each other again, with him then saying "well let me know when you are free".

It's a blow off isn't it?
How would you respond to this

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/05/2021 20:16

@Appleskyy

If he's interested he will get back to me with a date/suggestion (that I will become available for as it shows he is interested).
Why would he, when he’s asked you when you’re free and you’ve ignored him?! Honestly, it’s beginning to look like he’s dodged a bullet on this one, how hard work are you?
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 18/05/2021 20:20

How does that mean you save face? You asked if he wanted to meet up , he's asked when you are free, you've put it right back on him weirdly. If you don't get a date he's blown you off , however much you've tried to come off as casual. If anything you've made yourself look a bit odd into the bargain

Not that it matters if he says actually no thanks anyway. It's nothing to be embarrassed about really

Gwenhwyfar · 18/05/2021 20:28

Do you have a complicated life e.g. you have children and can't go out every evening? If so, it makes sense that he would ask you when you're free.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/05/2021 20:30

@Yellowhighheels

I get it, OP, doesn't feel like a wildly enthusiastic reply. However, the ball is in your court, suggest a couple of times and see what he says. It's definitely not a clear brush off.
It could be that he's available ever evening so it makes sense for her to suggest one.
SeaShoreGalore · 18/05/2021 20:36

Surely the time to think about saving face was before you contacted him?

Now you've batted it back to him you just look weirdly indecisive.

MrsMaizel · 18/05/2021 20:41

All this hassle over a few words ? You are definitely not ready for a relationship .

WhatMattersMost · 18/05/2021 20:45

@Appleskyy - You do realise you are behaving in the same way you fear he's behaving, don't you?

Cloudfrost · 18/05/2021 20:49

if he had been interested before, which looked like he was... i better hope for his sake he isnt know...

YOU ARE HARD WORK

Original poster
Appleskyy · 18/05/2021 20:53

Oh fuck! I've fucked it up haven't I?!

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/05/2021 20:57

@Appleskyy

Oh fuck! I've fucked it up haven't I?!
Jesus Hmm You are nowhere near ready for this...
MargotandJerrywerehot · 18/05/2021 20:58

You may well have done OP. Maybe follow up with a day?

SeaShoreGalore · 18/05/2021 21:01

Oh fuck! I've fucked it up haven't

To be honest, if you were overthinking the fact that he asked when you were free, you would have fucked it up sooner or later anyway.

Cloudfrost · 18/05/2021 21:03

perhaps work on your insecurity before asking anyone else out?

KurtWilde · 18/05/2021 21:08

Oh ffs OP

lulupooh · 18/05/2021 21:11

Can't you send another message like "btw these are the times I'm free... let me know if they're any good for you" try and be casual.

14Tealights · 18/05/2021 21:12

Just wow.

dottiedodah · 18/05/2021 21:13

I would just say ,Im free Saturday for a lunchtime drink or whatever .If hes not bothered ,then he wont come back but he may just be being casual.If you dont try you wont know!

IAmBeatrixKiddo · 18/05/2021 21:17

Hey OP, don't beat yourself up. If he's really interested he will be a bit more persistent (like you were instigating contact in the first place)

KurtWilde · 18/05/2021 21:20

Why should he have to show more interest? He already asked when OPs free, and instead of telling him she's just sent some odd message about figuring something out which if I received that from someone I'd see THAT as a blow off.

Bbub · 18/05/2021 21:30

If go with something like @lulupooh message

If he hasn't already replied, send it. If he has replied and now you're talking about something else, still send it, just "btw..." and then carry on your convo. Then the ball is properly in his court.

You haven't made a fool of yourself even if he doesn't take you up on the offer. If you see him seperately just hold your head up and smile. It's not like anything scandalous happened. Good luck

LalalalalalaLand123 · 18/05/2021 21:55

I hope this poor bloke runs for the hills

TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 18/05/2021 22:30

Lol, we've all been saying for the past 24 hours or so that you need to let him know when you're free. How are you only just figuring this out now? 😂😂😂

Save it OP, tell him when you're free and stop making it awkward.

CorianderBee · 18/05/2021 23:25

Your reply was weird... and I wouldn't know how to reply. You've now basically blown him off by ignoring his Q.

It's the equivalent of him saying: "do you want to eat? And you replying: "Let me know if you want to eat."

Send a follow up saying 'Sat works for me or Tuesday'

sammylady37 · 18/05/2021 23:40

Ffs. Stop playing games and setting tidy units hoops for him to jump through.

I hope for his sake he sees the red flag you’re wildly waving.

sammylady37 · 18/05/2021 23:41

*ridiculous hoops not tidy units hoops!

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