Is this a bit rude or?

[sammy829]

I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days. He came over tonight and about 10 minutes later his son (8) FaceTimes him. No problem at all, but they've now been chatting for an hour. I have absolutely no issue with his son whatsoever, I'm just feeling a little put out that I've literally been ignored since he got here. There's still no sign of the phone call ending. He saw his son Sunday, Monday, yesterday and will have him all weekend.

If everyone would be fine with this then I'll be quiet, I promise

It’s his child.. YABU! If you need more time with him just say so, if it’s not working then move on with someone who doesn’t have kids?!

Wow YABU! Sounds like a bloody good dad to me

Yeah sorry but YABU for obvious reasons.

I think if you are dating a man who is non resident parent to an 8 year old you have to accept that his son will always have first call on his time. Even when he has just arrived at your place.

It's his child op . His child comes first and foremost before you , I take it you dont have children because if you did you would put them before him .

An hour tho seriously! I wouldn't be happy tho either and if it was me and I was with someone I would find a way of shortening the call it's just manners or am I missing something

YABU you sound very much like a friend I have. She doesn’t want kids. When she was dating someone who was a NRP, she could never understand why they would change plans to accommodate the children, take phone calls in her time etc. Safe to say, the relationship didn’t last.

I'd feel a bit put out in your situation, and then feel bad for feeling put out, I dont think you are entirely BU at all.

Yes he is a brilliant Dad! I do have a child, shared 50/50 (a bit like my boyfriend). On the one day that week I was seeing him I wouldn't spend over an hour on the phone to my DC, but maybe we're just different!

Kids come first. Always.

@sammy829

I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days. He came over tonight and about 10 minutes later his son (8) FaceTimes him. No problem at all, but they've now been chatting for an hour. I have absolutely no issue with his son whatsoever, I'm just feeling a little put out that I've literally been ignored since he got here. There's still no sign of the phone call ending. He saw his son Sunday, Monday, yesterday and will have him all weekend.

If everyone would be fine with this then I'll be quiet, I promise

I think if he wants to spend the night on phone with his kids he should stay home and not take up space at OP's house.

I think if he wants to spend the night on phone with his kids he should stay home and not take up space at OP's house.

This ^^

Yanbu, it's rude.

You're also a person in his life, his child might come first (as he should) but that doesn't mean you have to be last. I bet if he was out with his friends he wouldn't spend an hour chatting to his DS.

I think if he wants to spend the night on phone with his kids he should stay home and not take up space at OP's house.

I agree.

Kids at 8 want their parents every day, both mom and dad , if the relationship between them is good.

He probably didn't know his son was going to call as he came over to yours but what can he do, you cannot ignor children, especially when parents are separated.

The honest truth is his son is more important than you and that's the way it should be, until the lad is old enough to feel secure in the world, his dad must be on tap.

Your partner sounds like he has his priorities right.

I agree with you, OP. If your DP is seeing his DS regularly, having a long call on his time with you is a bit rude, unless there’s a reason for it (helping with a problem, or sharing in good news). Does this happen regularly? If it’s a one off, I’d let it slide and keep an eye on the situation, but if it happens a lot have a conversation about it. He may just be oblivious. He can be a good dad AND an attentive partner.

I think he's being rude. Especially since he has seen/talked to him the past few days. But what can you do it was an impromptu call so its not like he could control when/where he would get the call. In this situation I think he should have ended the call after about 30 minutes or so, over an hour when he just saw him a couple of days ago is not really necessary.

I’m sure he could cut the call after 10 minutes if he’s seen his child every day this week.

Of course it’s rude. If he’s ready to date he’s ready to learn how to juggle his various responsibilities and loved ones in a way that makes no one feel like crap. Barring an emergency he’s taking the piss. Beware anyone who behaves like this. If it wasn’t his son he’d be finding another way to show you you’re not important to him. If he doesn’t have hour long calls with his son while he’s at work he doesn’t need to do it when he’s spending already limited time with you.

@YarnOver

Kids come first. Always.

@NRE20 It has happened a few times, yes.

It's now been nearly 2 hours and they're still on a call. I'm just a little disappointed that the one night I get with him this weekend is going to be cut extremely short, I guess.

*this week (not weekend)

@AnneLovesGilbert

Of course it’s rude. If he’s ready to date he’s ready to learn how to juggle his various responsibilities and loved ones in a way that makes no one feel like crap. Barring an emergency he’s taking the piss. Beware anyone who behaves like this. If it wasn’t his son he’d be finding another way to show you you’re not important to him. If he doesn’t have hour long calls with his son while he’s at work he doesn’t need to do it when he’s spending already limited time with you.

Well said.

Yabu

Write him a little note and tell him as he’s got other plans it’s time he toddled off home as you’ve now got other plans too and want your house back.