Is this a bit rude or?

[sammy829]

I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days. He came over tonight and about 10 minutes later his son (8) FaceTimes him. No problem at all, but they've now been chatting for an hour. I have absolutely no issue with his son whatsoever, I'm just feeling a little put out that I've literally been ignored since he got here. There's still no sign of the phone call ending. He saw his son Sunday, Monday, yesterday and will have him all weekend.

If everyone would be fine with this then I'll be quiet, I promise

@AnneLovesGilbert I can't even put the TV on as he's on the phone in the living room and he's rather loud!

[quote sammy829]@NRE20 It has happened a few times, yes.

It's now been nearly 2 hours and they're still on a call. I'm just a little disappointed that the one night I get with him this weekend is going to be cut extremely short, I guess. [/quote]
Throw this one back OP.

Either he's not ready for dating, or as a pp says - he's showing you how unimportant time spent with you is.

I'd ask him to leave after his call tbh. I can't bear rudeness like this.

I do understand your point OP, but society would be a much less damaged place if there were more fathers like him on the scene.

Well I’d be annoyed. That is rude, whoever is on the phone. It’s not like he only sees him once a fortnight. Half an hour is more than enough, 2 hours is ridiculous.

@eatsleepread

I do understand your point OP, but society would be a much less damaged place if there were more fathers like him on the scene.

He shouldn't be wasting OP's time. This is in HER home, not his.

Yes it’s rude. It’s your home, you can’t even watch tv. Short note under his nose asking him to leave

It's rude. Yes children come first but he could have spoken to him for ten minutes and then said "go to go". The child is old enough to cope if his dad is busy for a night

Poor child he has to book a time to speak to his dad now? Other PP are right, it’s his child. He comes first.

Can’t you just sit and read or do some other stuff and act like he is not there? I mean you don’t have to be constantly interacting if you are around each other. Phone calls happen.

[quote sammy829]@AnneLovesGilbert I can't even put the TV on as he's on the phone in the living room and he's rather loud! [/quote]
Duck that shit. Put the tv on. He can move.

He’s not in the right place to date. You’re not doormat enough to put up with dating him, I hope.

Please tell him to go back home and find someone who can behave better and with more consideration. He’s a selfish wanker.

All the “kids first” screechers think you’re not worth more than sitting in silence in your own home, which says more about them than you. It’s irrelevant he’s taking to his son, he’s being incredibly rude and you deserve better.

This is a good thing when you step back from how annoying it must be. Chuck him now before you get further attached. You’ve realised he’s selfish and rude and that’s useful information. Please act on it.

YANBU
Sure its his child and absolutely he should spend time talking to him. But hes visiting the op. To turn up at someones house and then ignore them to talk to someone else (albeit his child) is rude.
Why not just arrange to arrive for a visit an hour later?

Can’t you just sit and read or do some other stuff and act like he is not there?
They don't live together so if he is going to ignore op he should be there at all.

@RachelRaven it’s not as if he planned to talk to his child. These things happen. What if a client called him suddenly amd wanted an issue resolved for example? And a child is a million times more important than a client. It’s called being supportive and understanding.

How long have you been together OP?

[quote sammy829]@NRE20 It has happened a few times, yes.

It's now been nearly 2 hours and they're still on a call. I'm just a little disappointed that the one night I get with him this weekend is going to be cut extremely short, I guess. [/quote]
In that case, I agree it’s very unreasonable and needs addressing. He either doesn’t realise how rude it is, or, as another poster said, it’s a deliberate way to show you, you’re not a high priority.

Yeah, it's rude.

I had this the other night with my exH (we are on good terms, he was my 'bubble' during lockdown). He came around to see me and borrow some tools...5 minutes after he arrives, we are in the middle of a conversation, his mobile rings and he answers it...instead of saying "I'll ring you back later" he goes on to have a 20 minute conversation with his father! I had to be dead silent throughout as he told his father when we seperated that I'd gone back to Australia (I didn't)...and his father thinks I'm still there...

Really fucking rude. I was fuming. It wasn't about anything urgent, just about a day out his father is trying to arrange in July!

I wouldn't have even answered the phone. Anything urgent, you leave a message and I'll call straight back. I know his son comes first, but a 2 hour call is rude.

He is being rude & there is no way I would be keeping quiet in my own house while he FaceTimed for over 2 hours.

Is he still on the phone OP?

YANBU, it's rude to visit someone then spend hours ignoring them. He should have cut the call short after 10 minutes or gone home.

I would be furious and would ask him to leave as soon as he hangs up. I’d have turned the telly on long before now, I wouldn’t be making your living room too comfortable for him. Breathtakingly rude.

He is bang out of order. What is he trying to prove? You've made yourself available. A quick 10min convo and then end it. There's a time and a place. What a dick!
Sorry but I'd bin him over this. He's not ready to date.

@LittlestBoho I'd have gone out if he was still on the phone!

He got off at the 2 hour point.

I have two dc. Personally, I would think it was rude to go to a friend’s house to sit and FaceTime with my dc, even if I was away from home and not seeing my kids that day or for several days. If I needed to talk with them, I’d plan to visit someone at a different time or I’d keep the conversation short. I think it’s a bit inconsiderate really.

Ok I've changed my mind, two hours of ignoring you when he's come to your house is taking the piss.

What did you do once he ended the call?

@AnneLovesGilbert I just said that although it's lovely he has lots to chat about with his son, he's seen him every day this week and has got him tomorrow until Sunday so it would have been nice for us to have spent some actual time together tonight. Well that's roughly what I said.

It did not go down well.

Did you send him home? I hope he didn't get to come round for two hours and ignore you then get to stay over.