Is this a bit rude or?

[sammy829]

I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days. He came over tonight and about 10 minutes later his son (8) FaceTimes him. No problem at all, but they've now been chatting for an hour. I have absolutely no issue with his son whatsoever, I'm just feeling a little put out that I've literally been ignored since he got here. There's still no sign of the phone call ending. He saw his son Sunday, Monday, yesterday and will have him all weekend.

If everyone would be fine with this then I'll be quiet, I promise

is he normally bad mannered like that?
is his son jealous of your relationship?

Yeah as soon as I read I thought wow I wish my son's father was that good! It's part and parcel of being with someone who has a child unfortunately.

@Redruby2020

Yeah as soon as I read I thought wow I wish my son's father was that good! It's part and parcel of being with someone who has a child unfortunately.

I don’t believe it is. He saw the child the entire week, he had a few hours with op. He is rude. Most of us have kids on here and manage to do other things like work/socialise and parent. @sammy829 how are you getting on , have you heard from him?

Yes he was rude to take over your lounge room loudly for 2 hours.

Even worse he didn't apologise and got grumpy when you said something to him.

I'd be reevaluating the relationship as there are probably others ways he is disrespectful to you.

@DancesWithTortoises

He was very rude. Next time put the TV on any way and loud enough for you to hear.

Or just ask him politely to move to another room. No need for PA nonsense.

YABU. But think you know thus. Sorry op.

@ElphabaTWitch

YABU. But think you know thus. Sorry op.

Yes, the several pages of most people agreeing with her and OP reiterating that she knows he was being rude, confirm that she MUST know she was being unreasonable 🙄

I am a step parent. I think he absolutely should have taken the call, but he should have said he had to go after 20 minutes or so unless it was an emergency, and he should’ve apologised to you for being rude after that 20 minute call. His response afterwards and the next day shows your importance to him. Huffing around and ignoring you. Who needs a partner like that!

I am absolutely 100% certain that if he were at a colleague or mate's house, he would not ever have sat chatting to his kid for two hours on the phone, taking up the whole lounge room like that!!! NO WAY!!! RUDE!!! Yes, the kid gets some attention, but not that much!!!

@pictish

This is Mumsnet OP, not the real world. I just read a post on the first page that simply said, “Kids come first. Always.” My eyes about rolled out of my head. What simplistic crap.

Of course he was rude. Very bad manners to take two hour phone call like that, son or not. As other posters have pointed out, he wouldn’t have done it at work, with his mates, doing his hobby, whatever.
You were absolutely right to point it out to him and I agree with those who say his reaction tells all.
Don’t let him manipulate you with ‘it’s my son’ guff either. If he wants to have a two hour conversation with him he can stay at home and let it dominate his own living room. Arsehole.

Exactly.

I bet he's disrespectful in many other ways.

I cannot believe this is a normal occurance, op was asked if it was and she declined to answer.

If it was a one off, then no I don't think it is unreasonable thats the context here.

@Onthedunes No it wasn't a one off

@Grandbisou Hi, thanks for checking in! Yes I've heard from him although he did silk for a couple of days. Not seeing him until Thursday though.

Well if you only see him once a week and you are a secret (that's the only reason I can think of when he was facetiming and you didn't interupt) then I would not bother with the relationship.

If you have a sulker on your hands is it really worth it.
You spend a couple of hours with him and then the rest of the week complaining about him.
There has to be better. No?

@Onthedunes I'm not a secret. I didn't interrupt because it was his son he was talking to.

I agree that sulkers are not much fun but I've not spent the week complaining about him

I hope he apologised?

Tho not seeing him in 4 days isn't a huge amount of time

I hope he’s apologised and you’re not just letting him swan back as though nothing happened.

You didn't mention how long you've been together. From what you said, it seems has his son every weekend. If he just comes over every Thursday when he's finished work, that isn't much of a relationship.

Was he too grumpy for sex when he spent the night?

[quote sammy829]@Onthedunes I'm not a secret. I didn't interrupt because it was his son he was talking to.

I agree that sulkers are not much fun but I've not spent the week complaining about him [/quote]
I think your post suggests otherwise and you stated that this is a common occurance.

I completely understand how this must have made the OP feel. I can’t quite get my head around anyone suggesting this was normal, let alone those who seem to have elevated the OP’s partner to the level of Sainthood for his actions. He’s a rude man.

A part of me wonders whether he expected the OP to be overwhelmingly impressed by his antics, the way some posters here claim to be, and immediately rip his clothes off after his very loud demonstration of parenting in the middle of her home.

My ex used to do something similar where he would sit next to me in the living room and start playing his guitar. WTF I was meant to do during this time I don’t know. Sing along? Grab a tambourine? I was just trying to watch Blockbusters.

Anyway it was a symptom of a much darker problem which was that he was a tormenting little arsehole who liked to ‘test’ me to see how self absorbed, selfish and unreasonable he could be before I would say anything. Then of course he also did the sulking.

Red flag, OP. Keep an eye on him. And ask yourself honestly would he have done that at his mates house or from the pub. Because I doubt he would.

Yes don’t let him just come back without resolving this and him apologising Otherwise, you’ll continue to be treated like dirt. Up to you @sammy829

Absolutely. Don’t smooth it over or pave his way. Stick to your guns. A phone call with his son is fine and to be expected. A two hour FaceTime in your living room is taking a liberty with your time and your space.
That he argued about it indicates a takeover bid to assume control of both. If it wasn’t he’d have simply apologised.
He doesn’t get to monopolise your evening or your home because SON. I wouldn’t be so rude and neither would you. Fuck right off.