Polly and her Dollies continue to improve in every way

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Can’t believe it, but here we are on Thread 5!

Thread 4 here

Just back from a 4.5 mile run - bit cold this morning! I’ve sea monkeys growing in the kitchen, soaps hardening in the bathroom, and the carpets are full of glitter. They had a great weekend!

The thumb also seems to be improving. Phew.

All on today to prep for tomorrow’s meeting with Geller. He really does seem broken. But I will not waiver.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and all health ailments are on the mend. Time to slap on some moisturiser - caught the sun this weekend - but look much better for it!

I question whether you should engage or indulge his rants with a response.

But if you do, I would be very tempted to point out that you are absolutely not fortunate that he is willing to continue to be involved in the children’s lives, in fact, continued communication with him is not in your best interests at all. However, it is in the best interests of the children and that is why you are willing to continue to engage. And with that in mind, your boundaries are…..

Tbh, I would be tempted to reply “Actuallt, I’m not fortunate… It would be best if you just quit while you’re ahead, fuck right off and pay us what we deserve.” (But that’s probably NOT in your best interests strategically, is it?”

I never do reply to his emails on stuff like this. It drives him NUTS. Apparently, it's me being irresponsible.

Oh, and according to him, he's not threatening me. It's a FACT. Maybe I should consider how many other Dad's I know who go to the same level he does. He's trying hard to be very supportive and indeed is being hugely supportive with the children and how they feel at times. It's emotionally very hard for him, it really is.

On and ON.

It might be worth me reflecting, given the road I seem to want to pursue, there seems little chance that the girls 'old Dad' will have any funds available to help them with those big moments in their twenties as our parents undoubtedly helped us.

(not me sunshine, I did it myself! and what's the 'old dad'' thing?)

On and on and on and on.

I'm not responding, I can't be arsed. I want to put my energy into something good and worthwhile.

Oh my stars. He's really thrashing around and flailing wildly, as he is dragged unwillingly to the reality that is not the Gellarverse, isn't he? Realising that he's not able to bully you to the point where you get back in your box?

There's absolutely no thought there, genuine concern or care, for the children, is there? There's only room for one person on which to bestow genuine concern and care, and that's him. Revolting little rodent.

he is willing to play a role in their lives

He is their father.

(He's also a fuckwit).

Good lord, they really do bank on the bar being set so low for men that they can try to make us feel grateful for anything.

What a useless human.

He's actually got to BE an actual Dad before he starts spouting poor OLD Dad. He's a cunty bollock breathed nobrot.

You sound strong this week!

His communication does reveal that he thinks of the DC as your children rather than his.

Long time lurker here; lots of reflections and thoughts as you go through what many us here undoubtedly have.

There's a lot of sense in the way you're dealing with everything; soon to be ex; current flame; the girls.

I think I'm about 1 year ahead of you in the process. The only way I can describe it is detox: from an emotionally abusive marriage and some very poor habits around loved ones.

Keep working on yourself, your boundaries and what you can control.

In large part, ignore the stuff that you can't control. Try not to get sucked into arguing every small point with him.

Prepare yourself for Gellar to replace you - very soon - and for all of this work to become more complex as a third person joins the party. My ex Gellar has replaced me with a shinier younger enabler who's just as much of a sucker as I was in the early days. The poor woman will get dumped with housekeeping, childcare and the grand job of ego massaging and the full time pity party that he'll have going on by then. People like our exes find it very hard to live without someone else to bully, control and dominate.

However when that happens also look on the bright side. Your girls won't be open to the mind games and general fuckwittery that you have to deal with at the moment.

Above all: keep exercising, being good to yourself and enjoy your time away from him. Things can only get better (although they might get a little worse as he fights the loss of control; but just leave him to it and he'll end up realising that you're not in the ring anymore.)

Silence is a very powerful communication tool.

Veeery intrigued about your new work opportunity... hope it works out for you... :)

God, you’re on FIRE, Girlfriend!!! I can hardly believe this is the same meek little mousie we met so long ago!

Oh my god my head is melted just reading your summary, I can't imagine what it's like being on the receiving end of one of those emails 😫😫
Stay strong, you're almost there!!!

Wombats use their tough, thick-skinned rumps as protection: if threatened, they escape to their burrow and can crush a predator's skull between their rump and the burrow's roof.

Never go into his house.

He is trying to be supportive...he hasnt quite understood you are now separated. Now what he is doing is a share of parenting which he clearly wasnt doing before....i feel wound up on your behalf...he needs a star chart- twat

You sound good Polly, is it weird to be proud of you?! You really are rocking at this adulting shit

Hahaha, well if the girls "old Dad" can't pay for uni etc, You will be able to because you are ripping the golden pension stash from under Scrooge McDuck's rump.
Hilarious

I’d use the email as evidence that he’s not up to shared parenting.

He’s such and idiot.

What "big moments" in her twenties has helped DSD with???

He’s starting to make Matt Hancock look appealing as a life partner

Poor 'old dad'. I shall cry (crocodile) tears and play the (world's tiniest) violin to commemorate this soul destroying sorrow.....I DON'T think.

So now he's swung to trying guilt. So he's discovered that 'carrying on per usual and hoping you stick to your role' hasn't worked and lecturing hasn't worked. Once he discovers trying to guilt you won't work he'll move on to pure vindictiveness and trying to frighten you. Ho hum. You've got your 'weapons' already: indifference and a SHL.

Just keep swimming Polly, you're doing great

@CliffsofMohair

He’s starting to make Matt Hancock look appealing as a life partner

Thanks for that, going to need brain bleach now!

Oh you're sooo lucky to have a Geller in your life if only ouou could just see it (not envy)

Keep on keeping on, Polly!