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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Polly and her Dollies continue to improve in every way

962 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/04/2021 11:13

Can’t believe it, but here we are on Thread 5!

Thread 4 here

Just back from a 4.5 mile run - bit cold this morning! I’ve sea monkeys growing in the kitchen, soaps hardening in the bathroom, and the carpets are full of glitter. They had a great weekend!

The thumb also seems to be improving. Phew.

All on today to prep for tomorrow’s meeting with Geller. He really does seem broken. But I will not waiver.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and all health ailments are on the mend. Time to slap on some moisturiser - caught the sun this weekend - but look much better for it!

OP posts:
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pointythings · 13/06/2021 10:42

I do think that ultimately 70/30 would be in the girls' best interest. Polly is the reliable, sensible, consistent parent in this situation.

RandomMess · 13/06/2021 10:47

Hope the 10k went ok Polly!!

Justilou1 · 13/06/2021 11:27

How many times have you had to as HIM to adjust his working schedule to accommodate yours?

drspouse · 13/06/2021 11:50

70/30 would be EOW Friday through Sunday plus about 4 weeks holidays but that still leaves 26 Sunday nights for him to mess you about with if that Monday is just too important for the important man to deal with so I don't know the answer TBH.

drspouse · 13/06/2021 11:51

(Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights).

Justilou1 · 14/06/2021 01:27

Obviously have it written up in the agreement that every time he messes around with the childcare agreement expecting @StuckInPollyannaModehe pays more? Surely that should be calculated down to the hour for this man…. “The girls are playing up, so I’m going to drop them home 17hrs early…”

RandomMess · 15/06/2021 22:46

@StuckInPollyannaMode I hope you are ok and just super busy.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 16/06/2021 05:36

Hi hi folks

Sorry for radio silence…it’s been an interesting few days. One of the things I’ve done is reread all my threads from the start, which has really helped. Work has been absolutely insane and I’m hoping for a big win in the next few days…will keep you posted!

Can we start by saying FFS Geller is an absolute WOMBAT? (Waste of money, breath and time)?

The latest is that he has reacted to me pushing back on messing the kids around by selling my beloved Land Rover. A £15k marital asset. Apparently he’s buying a new Mazda. Which shows a shocking lack of imagination as that’s the car I paid for for him for 3 years. It’s bigger than my 2k pile of shite and much shinier, according to the kids.

I have had numerous ridiculous texts from him, and an insane email.

I have ignored all of them and gone back through my lawyer. I would never have had the courage to do this if it wasn’t for you all.

I got so cross with his endless stream of consciousness on Saturday that I bought a £100 dress whilst out for coffee. His next text about the girls annoyed me so much I went back to the shop and got a pair of earrings to go with it.

This is now war. I have instructed my solicitor I will settle for £250k of the pension, 75% of the capital assets and £595 spousal until the kids go to secondary and no less. She is about to send a letter stating that unless his next offer is reasonable we will see him in court (at present he is offering 70k pension, which when he’s sitting on over £500k is ridiculous)

I will, of course, have the girls 100% of the time if required. I have them 60% of the time anyway, and if it goes to 70% that is fine. Or 80%.

Yes, of course I am prepared to be a bit flexible, things happen in life and it’s all about give and take. I know I need to be reasonable and I am being. However, I am already accommodating 6 of his changes in the next few weeks- I’m not his nanny to keep doing that. If he keeps messing them and me around he can go take a long walk off a short pier.

DI Dishy is an absolute delight. I fear that we will end up barred from most of the pubs and restaurants round here 😁 On Saturday night we went out for dinner and we got halfway through and he said nope, can’t do it any more, the tables are too big, can I come sit next to you?! It’s so nice to be so wanted and appreciated. And my bits are just fine and dandy, but thank you for the link 🤣

Le sigh 😌 I am trying very hard not to fall but the brutal reality is that I am falling for him and it’s been the most wonderful month.

My run was great and I got under 1:10 (just) but bloody hell it was hot. Ran a shade under 5 miles yesterday and then fell over. Had to go to a friends to be patched up.

Lots to think about from yesterday’s therapy session. I raised with her my chronic insecurity and lack of self esteem. Straight back to my mum. Unsurprising, in many ways.

In good news, the updates on weddings mean I can see the girls be flowergirls at a family wedding the first weekend in July. They are always vile the first night back from his. But all is good and this weekend we’re off to see a good friend of mine and her son whom they adore, not seen them since January. And it’s by the sea so fingers crossed that this weather continues!

Hope everyone is doing ok and enjoying the current hot spell.

OP posts:
Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 16/06/2021 06:40

Morning @StuckInPollyannaMode there really are no words, though cockwomble fuckwitted nobber is a start. He's also really thick isn't he? Anyway enough breath wasted on the wankmeister....
You've inspired me to start running! I've started couch to 5k and have been huffing and puffing my way through it (not a pretty sight 😂)

Glad you have the sense to play hardball with confidence but I'm sorry it's come to this.

Enjoy your time with Dishy for what it is who knows what the future brings. Take care of yourself and hope you're not too injured for your fall.

DartmoorDoughnut · 16/06/2021 07:00

Glad you’re ok-ish Polly, DI Dishy sounds awesome and don’t you bloody deserve it.

So glad you’ve let loose the SHL, Geller is a prick and you and the girls deserve a proper settlement.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 16/06/2021 07:21

Oooh @Fooshufflewickjbannanapants that’s great! One foot in front of the other and you WILL get there!

OP posts:
StuckInPollyannaMode · 16/06/2021 07:23

Hey @DartmoorDoughnut how’s the nicotine replacement going? I’m one week into not smoking - the champix has thankfully stopped making me feel sick but I’m like a meercat- I can smell someone lighting up from half a mile away 🤣 no cravings!

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 16/06/2021 07:31

@StuckInPollyannaMode ummmm yeah it’s not Blush so champix is that just weak in and buy it or prescription?!

DartmoorDoughnut · 16/06/2021 07:31

But that’s awesome!

pointythings · 16/06/2021 07:32

That is actually an amazing update, though I'm sad to see that FFSGellar continues to be an assnugget. Not surprising though, and you are absolutely right to play hardball now. If these threads have given you the confidence to do that then yay! And your therapist sounds like an absolute good 'un - you will recover from your mum and be 100% your own person. You are at 0 risk of passing those traits on to your girls, you have too much insight to do that.

Grab the good bits of your life with both hands and enjoy the hell out of them!

DartmoorDoughnut · 16/06/2021 07:33

Weak in = walk in

And obviously you’re awesome NOT my non existent attempts Grin

frazzledasarock · 16/06/2021 08:54

I’m glad you’ve put on a reasonable asset split request.

I’ve seen many women in your situation who are so downtrodden they give up all financial security just to get away from the ex.

You’re sensible and right.

And we’ll done on the running and giving up smoking. I know how hard it was for DH when he gave up.

LadyDanburysHat · 16/06/2021 08:56

Although Geller is driving you crazy being an utter cockwomble, it is good to see that it has steeled you ready to take him on. No more messing around. I'm quite sure you will end up in court, because he thinks all of those assets are his to keep. Good luck.

And at least there is the distraction of DI Dishy.

Lougle · 16/06/2021 09:30

Go Polly!!

FelicityPike · 16/06/2021 10:05

Once again...good for you Polly!

Justilou1 · 16/06/2021 10:32

Fabulous @StuckInPollyannaMode! I think playing hardball from the start is the only way to go. You can navigate backwards much more easily than forwards. Grab him by the short and curlies. It’s only ever been about the fucking money for him. The girls are only used for prestige for him and to manipulate you. Toadlicker that he is…

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/06/2021 10:46

You're absolutely right, Polly, suggesting a sensible asset split, and being prepared to go to court if he doesn't agree (I had the same sorts of issues and did end up in court. Whereupon I got much more than I expected and he wanted 😂). Keep your business head on, this is your future.

And enjoy DID - I've been having a fabulous time since my divorce 😉

timeisnotaline · 16/06/2021 14:46

Pollyanna plays hardball! Pollyanna herself would say I’m just glad to be asking for a fair go as these are his daughters and what’s more, I bloody deserve it.

Newestname001 · 16/06/2021 16:26

What an idiot FFS Geller is! All he's done is ensure that Amazonian Warrior Polly is wide awake and ready for the fray!

Go at it Polly! 🌹

LannieDuck · 16/06/2021 16:58

6 changes over the next few weeks and he's asking for more? That is ridiculous.

Have you mentioned that his days of the Summer holidays are his responsibility yet....?