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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Polly and her Dollies continue to improve in every way

962 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/04/2021 11:13

Can’t believe it, but here we are on Thread 5!

Thread 4 here

Just back from a 4.5 mile run - bit cold this morning! I’ve sea monkeys growing in the kitchen, soaps hardening in the bathroom, and the carpets are full of glitter. They had a great weekend!

The thumb also seems to be improving. Phew.

All on today to prep for tomorrow’s meeting with Geller. He really does seem broken. But I will not waiver.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and all health ailments are on the mend. Time to slap on some moisturiser - caught the sun this weekend - but look much better for it!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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StuckInPollyannaMode · 09/06/2021 16:19

I haven’t replied. He’s on WhatsApp every two minutes checking it 😂

I’ve got a Chisel and Chill yoga class booked for tonight- and ran this morning (pathetic effort in the heat, going to get up and go either early tomorrow or on Friday) then my 10k on Sunday.

I think this is the first time I have ever said no to him and then not changed my mind.

Your feedback is helping me stay strong, thank you all xx

OP posts:
mbosnz · 09/06/2021 16:30

Good on you! Kia kaha Polly! (Keep strong).

Lougle · 09/06/2021 16:34

You're amazing! Well done. Just see it like building a wall, one brick at a time.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 09/06/2021 16:41

Kia ora @mbosnz! (My brother used to live in your gorgeous country!)

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/06/2021 16:43

"The pain you have caused" by no longer allowing me to do what I want when I want and you run around making it possible. It was working perfectly for me when you woke up and realised and resigned from the post of wife, good earner and enabler.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 09/06/2021 17:21

I think the best reply would be 'noted'.

You've noted he's pissed off. You aren't engaging in discussion where he gets to whine at you further. You've acknowledged he doesn't like your response. No further discussion or response to his baiting you is needed. And if he persists, 'as I've said, we have plans on Tuesday, so that will not be possible'.

I'd also find something to do that afternoon to reinforce the point if he turns up unannounced, right up to taking a couple of hours off in case he shows up at the afters afterschool club expecting to do it anyway. How about a picnic somewhere?

AcrossthePond55 · 09/06/2021 17:24

"The pain you have caused" Oh FFS!!

I picture him lying back on a fainting couch with the back of his hand pressed against his forehead and a solitary tear trickling down his cheek. Pathetic. He'd be sipping on a cool glass of water IF there was anyone there to bring him one! Lord knows he'll do without rather than get it for himself!!

bigbaggyeyes · 09/06/2021 17:25

I think this is the first time I have ever said no to him and then not changed my mind

Well done Polly, the more practice you get, the easier it will be Grin

mbosnz · 09/06/2021 17:39

I wonder if he's going to try holding his breath and stamping his feet next (she says interestedly)? Or maybe, throwing himself down in a supermarket aisle in a screaming rage? Whatever he does - you ain't there to witness it. Yay!!! He doesn't have his favourite audience!

pussycatlickinglollyices · 09/06/2021 18:04

Knobber Him not you, obvs

MangoBiscuit · 09/06/2021 18:32

Yes Polly!! Well done, and keep going!

pointythings · 09/06/2021 18:35

@mbosnz

I wonder if he's going to try holding his breath and stamping his feet next (she says interestedly)? Or maybe, throwing himself down in a supermarket aisle in a screaming rage? Whatever he does - you ain't there to witness it. Yay!!! He doesn't have his favourite audience!
Maybe he'll thcweam and thcweam until he's thick.
Newestname001 · 09/06/2021 19:04

I think this is the first time I have ever said no to him and then not changed my mind.

Hurrah!! A step in the right direction. Onward and upwards @StuckInPollyannaMode! 🌹

mbosnz · 09/06/2021 19:36

Maybe he'll thcweam and thcweam until he's thick.

And he can!!

(Although he already sounds pretty damned thick. Certainly not clever enough for Polly and her Dollies. . .)

StuckInPollyannaMode · 09/06/2021 22:54

He really is the gift that keeps on giving.

The girls would like to come here for Fathers Day which I believe is Sunday week. They’d like a picnic and we agreed I’d try for X National Trust place. They’d like to stay over on that Sunday night. Are they allowed?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/06/2021 23:00

Is that supposed to be your weekend with them??

Justilou1 · 09/06/2021 23:04

Aren’t you all going away that weekend?
*He should know better than to make plans for your time with the girls without discussing it with you first!

StuckInPollyannaMode · 09/06/2021 23:09

The irony is that we are away that weekend!!

OP posts:
SpringCrocus · 09/06/2021 23:11

Bloody hell, he is SUCH a shit. So manipulative!
Log this Polly, as potential parental alienation.
What you reply is up to you, tbh if its "your" w/e, I'd tell him NO.
And tell him not to make arrangements (about changing contact) with the children before he has first discussed and agreed it with the other ADULT involved.
So fucking manipulative! And casting you as the "bad guy", if you (quite rightfully) refuse!

RandomMess · 09/06/2021 23:26

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

They'll have to celebrate during the week or this weekend.

I do wonder how you would feel if you couldn't have the girls on Mother's Day? One of those things to sort out formally for next year I guess.

RandomMess · 09/06/2021 23:27

Can't believe (only I can) he just assumed he was having them!! As ever your plans/life are immaterial you are expect to support him doing what he wants.

frazzledasarock · 10/06/2021 02:36

As it’s such a new arrangement stick to your schedule. Well you’re going away so you can’t change it anyway.

Maybe iron out special days if it means so much eg ensure you get the DC on your birthdays Mother’s Day/Father’s Day. Alternate Christmas days etc.

Tell him you’re all away then but this is a detail that needs to be addressed moving forward (or something).

If Father’s Day was important to him he should have mentioned it earlier.

Justilou1 · 10/06/2021 03:26

I still think that this is more about making up a day, or covering his arse when you go to court (because that’s inevitable) rather than Father’s Day.

bigbaggyeyes · 10/06/2021 06:52

My ex tried this on the first Father's Day, also told me I should have given him a Father's Day card from the dc ha errrrr no! If Father's Day falls on my weekend I ALWAYS have plans and we are away.

Lougle · 10/06/2021 07:10

I agree that special days should be ironed out in advance. Difficult if you already have plans though. He presumably knows it's your weekend.