Polly and her Dollies continue to improve in every way

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Can’t believe it, but here we are on Thread 5!

Thread 4 here

Just back from a 4.5 mile run - bit cold this morning! I’ve sea monkeys growing in the kitchen, soaps hardening in the bathroom, and the carpets are full of glitter. They had a great weekend!

The thumb also seems to be improving. Phew.

All on today to prep for tomorrow’s meeting with Geller. He really does seem broken. But I will not waiver.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and all health ailments are on the mend. Time to slap on some moisturiser - caught the sun this weekend - but look much better for it!

@Lougle

I love it that he is so daft that he puts this stuff in writing! It's brilliant.

"I will take your new offer to my SHL."

He's really not learned that much, has he? I bet your SHL will make mincemeat of him! 🌹

🤣 You plonker Geller!!

I always used to welcome such messages from Ex while we were divorcing, as they gave me so much information about how he was thinking. (Mind, DC were grown, so was just finances we were arguing over.)

I did start court procedings, we got as far as first hearing and then settled, so second hearing never happened. You can agree to a settlement at any point, if you do then the court just has to confirm it.

It cost me £3,000 ten years ago, I didn't have to pay till the assets were divided between me and EX

oh, plus court fees which had to be paid when we began procedings.

URGH. Just take the odious cunt to court. He is a joke.

@StuckInPollyannaMode

That’s coercive control, right?

Or narcissism?

Or plain wankbadgery?

All of the above.

Why does he not get that 50.50 is the starting point after a "long" marriage with 2 DC?

He is definitely trying to coercively control you still, he is definitely threatening you. He is definitely flaky (re:- expecting you to be “flexible” to suit his working conditions). He is definitely utterly, utterly stupid writing shit like this. Send to lawyer and ask to expediate court date.

I’d agree with getting a Court date, Pollyanna.
That’ll show him you mean it, and will stop the general legal to-ing and fro-ing and the running up of legal bills... which is where I am.

Gawd I loved that Mercenary Services ad.

I went off on a bit of a daydream after reading they offer ‘Creative Solutions’... 😁

It needs to be clear cut, he cant re negotiate every week if he has a meeting, or decide he may or may not pay for things a as a way of manipulating things to a way that suits him therefore keeping an endless dialogue going for the next decade potentially.
There needs a fixed calendar, if he cant care for them on those days, he needs to pay someone who can,

I absolutely think you need to go for a much higher settlement and clean break over spousal and elusive higher CM. Those things give him far too much power.

Can you imagine all the messages??

My bonus lower than expected need to reduce CM.

If DD does x activity I'm not paying for it as I don't approve.

On and on and on...

Yes to all of the above FUCK HIM.

Tell your SHL to go after EVERYTHING you deserve and he can pay whatever maintenance CMS tell him to. He can buy anything the girls need at his house yes it’s shit for them but do not facilitate this fucking wanker one iota

Clean break means you can just walk away - you can be as rude as you want and ignore him as much as you need to. He's got too much power otherwise.

@swampytiggaa

I’ll chip in for a hitman. Sure we can find a good one 😊

I know people 😡😡😡😡 What a bastard.

I second going for a clean break, and can suggest some things which should be broken first, in a sensible order for maximum effect.

Also did you know it's the right time of year for patios?

He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Does he really believe that he is being reasonable? I feel like he must, or he surely wouldn't put it in writing.

Does it at least feel good to see through his manipulation and block/ignore/say no?

I’m all for the Mumsnet Patio Co...

I've never commented until now, but have recently read your threads and am full of admiration for your endless patience and how you've navigated everything, and are such an amazing mum to your kids.

I can't believe how utterly awful Gellar is. As others have said, please go for Court.

And a new patio seems a very good idea. I'll happily chip in as even though I think my Gellar is awful, his cockwomblery is not a patch on Gellar's. Gellar is truly at the top of his game.

@Justilou1

I’m all for the Mumsnet Patio Co...

It would be very popular. I’d invest now.

Polly: maybe he took the land rover because he knew you'd probably try and run him over with all of the crap he's pulling. Show that to SHL and don't think about it anymore

Polly, if it's YOUR Land Rover, get it back. If it's yours then he has no right to it. Or at the very least lay claim to it as part of the court settlement.

As for his shit, coercive, controlling, abusive threats, hand to SHL and just see him in court.
Please, just stop putting yourself through all this, he's a cunt of the highest order and a clean break, (with you getting far more than 50/50, I suspect!) is the way to go.

Polly decided she didn't want to keep her Land Rover due to running costs etc. Obviously however sensible it's still galling that he can afford it when he is so unwilling to offer a fair settlement.

Ah, ok, I'd forgotten that.

@Justilou1

I’m all for the Mumsnet Patio Co...

Our strapline is Quick, Quiet, Quality.