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Original poster

Partner having his kids around when I'm not well

196 replies

Madboutcats · 30/03/2021 10:15

My partner & I live together. I have 1 child & he got 3 kids. Generally, I'm not bothered if his 3 kids are in our house but atm, I got severe back pain & I just want to be on my own. I tried to explain to him that I'm in so much pain that dealing with my kid is bad enough without his kids being around as well. But he doesn't understand. I'm getting rather frustrated bout it. He says his kids are not as noisy as my one is. My mom takes my kid to her place when I just want to rest. His kids don't live here so why should I have to put up with it when I'm in pain? Any advice, thoughts or even to tell me I'm overreacting etc, I'd like to know.

OP posts:
Mistystar99 · 30/03/2021 10:16

Go to your mum's.

pinkyredrose · 30/03/2021 10:17

Get him to take them out or just deal with them himself. He doesn't need you to look after them does he?

bonfireheart · 30/03/2021 10:18

I'd take a book, snacks and ipad and chill in bedroom. He can look after the kids and make dinner for everyone.

OldEvilOwl · 30/03/2021 10:20

YABU its his home too

Squeejit · 30/03/2021 10:21

They should still be able to see their dad. You don’t stop being a parent when someone’s unwell. If you feel that bad, retreat to the bedroom, but you can’t stop him having his kids over.

WaterBottle123 · 30/03/2021 10:21

He should be doing 100 percent of their childcare and not impacting your rest.

But no, you can't stop them coming, it's their home too.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 30/03/2021 10:21

Yabvu

LadyCatStark · 30/03/2021 10:22

I’m sorry you’re in pain but life goes on. You can stay in your bedroom while he looks after all of the children.

Zoecarter · 30/03/2021 10:23

There his kids. That means his home is there home too. Either go to your mums or go to another room and leave him to deal
With them

SpareBib · 30/03/2021 10:24

You really shouldn't get in the way of him seeing his children - and his home is his kids' home too as much as it is yours. But you shouldn't have to do any of the childcare. If you can't cope with the kids being in the house, then it is up to you to go somewhere else I'm afraid.

CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove · 30/03/2021 10:25

It's his house too. And they're his kids. So YABVU to say they can't be there. But he should be doing the childcare, etc so you can rest

StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli · 30/03/2021 10:25

Sorry to hear you are in pain but your partner still has a right to see his children in his home, it's not their fault you are in pain. It makes it sound like they are not welcome.

Take yourself into another room and leave them to it. Sorry but I think yabu.

Tigerchips · 30/03/2021 10:25

Does he live with you?

If so, his kids trump your bad back.

Tigerchips · 30/03/2021 10:26

Oh, it's in the first sentence. In that case, YABVU.

gurglebelly · 30/03/2021 10:28

@WaterBottle123

He should be doing 100 percent of their childcare and not impacting your rest.

But no, you can't stop them coming, it's their home too.

Completely agree with this
AnneLovesGilbert · 30/03/2021 10:30

Do you want him not to see them or to take them out? If it’s the former you’re wrong, if the latter you’re right.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 30/03/2021 10:30

Do you send your child away when your DP isn't feeling well?

FromDespairToHere · 30/03/2021 10:31

YABU

Go and lie in bed or something. He can't decide he's not a parent just because you have a bad back.

This is very similar to a post last week.

Lastbonestanding · 30/03/2021 10:32

Would you not have your child in the house if your boyfriend had a sore back?

Ughmaybenot · 30/03/2021 10:34

Don’t be daft. Of course he shouldn’t be expecting you to help with the care of the children given that you’re in pain and ought to be resting but he has every right to see his children in his own home. It’s not their fault.

CloudFormations · 30/03/2021 10:38

YABU. You can’t stop his kids coming round just because you’re not well. But you shouldn’t have to look after them - that’s up to him.

mybonnieliesovertheocean2 · 30/03/2021 10:46

I am waiting to hear that he had been living in a flat share before dating you and you moved him into yours fast. Now he has his feet under the table he isnt taking any notice of your needs and wants as his DC have space now in your place to hang out.

Apologies if I am wrong , likely been on MN too long.

Anyway him bringing his DC in when you have sent your own DC to your mums for a rest because of severe back pain isnt a considerate or caring partner. He could go out with them...

StrudelSoup · 30/03/2021 10:48

YABU - they are his kids. He comes as a package deal. "Generally, I'm not bothered if his 3 kids are in our house". That's big of you. It's his house too.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 30/03/2021 10:49

Christ almighty you couldn’t be more unreasonable. So he just shouldn’t be a father? You shouldn’t have to do anything for them but it’s their house too

Teapotsandtablecloths · 30/03/2021 10:51

@Lastbonestanding

Would you not have your child in the house if your boyfriend had a sore back?
This.