Dating Thread 200 - Spring is in the Air, Ghosters Beware

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I think that often it's the sense of unfinished business that keeps someone lingering in our thoughts. Maybe a degree of frustration as someone said that they didn't recognise the wonderful, sexy, unique human being that you know you are. One of the toughest pains to endure is seeing someone who you really cared for moving on and apparently enjoying being with someone else more than they enjoyed being with you. I'm always a little dubious too that you can have some exes as friends unless you really, truly no longer have any residual feelings for them. The guy that I was seeing for 3 years prior to Mr V has stayed in touch and we are FB friends. Although it was me that called time on our RS it still stings a bit to see or hear him mentioning his new woman. Maybe sometimes the past does need to be left well and truly behind.

Thanks @Onesmallstep67 yeah i think it is that. It didnt feel right the way it finished with mine. However i see hes still searching as hes on all the apps so its not like he found someone else. Not sure if thats a good or bad thing 😬

I'm posting a random comment as suddently I can only find this thread via search, even though I'm most certainly on it and I've tried watching it but it's nowhere to be found. Nearly full anyway so looking forward to the new thread. Maybe now I'm on it again, I'll be on it in MN tech world also. Hope everyone has a decent day, and damn those irons who won't leave our heads long after they've left our beds.

I'm finding since deleting the
Apps I refresh this thread more often 😂😂

I want to message Mr HT but I know I'm just looking for attention and I need to just get on with work.

I was off Thursday/Friday and I don't think it was a log enough break. Just can't get my head in the game.

I am now just going to be thinking of a new thread name ... my current thoughts...

*Getting over the 3 month wonders
*The ones that got away meant that they weren't the ones
*The smallest ember can turn into a fiery blaze

Messaged MrCanal and said for him to let me know if he fancied coming along on a walk I’m probably doing over the next fortnight.

(Feel a bit cba/flat still tbh but we did get on very well so worth keeping in mind)

@Shayelle2009 same here - I was also over-keen as I really liked her too and thought we had an amazing connection, although at times she seemed to be as well (saying we were soulmates, joking about what we'd name our kids etc...).

I think you're also right about this year being awful for getting over someone. Too much time alone to dwell on things, and not enough opportunity to go out and do things to help forget about them.

I am literally counting down until 12th april when things are hopefully going to open up again... if it gets delayed i think ill most definitely be losing the plot 😲

Goodness people ... don't you take a hint?

My making up of stupid potential thread names was a blatant 'distract me' plea and you all glossed over them

😂😂😂

Ahhhh sorry @cravingthelook!! Ok thread names! I love the ember and blaze one!! 🥰

No more pining cos we’ll be wining and dining??? Hmmm ☺️

Good ideas craving, how about also:

"No more getting under your 3 month wonder"

"You're out of my bed - now get out of my head"

😄 we will need a new thread shortly.

@Shayelle I was thinking the same but then thought where have I actually got to go...which made me more depressed!

Im in the same boat as you @SpringlikeBunk invited mr work, a sort of iron who i work with for a walk over the Easter break.. got a bit of a non plussed reply... meh to that...

Like that one Shayelle 😊

I should just speak up for the Irish contingent eh @LuckyLinda3 and say the 12th of April is not a thing here 😬 we are on lockdown forever it appears so I’m sooooo envious of you lucky folk 😊
@bangheadhere40 you’ll be wining and dining with the lovely men that are going to appear on the apps from around the 1st April
Getting over the 3 month wonders gets my vote as we’ve all been there -though in my case they were 3 date wonders

"Tidying up scruffy geeky men - a lost cause?"

post 966

'Widening our areas'?

No reply yet @Shayelle2009 though I dunno if he's at work today.

Definitely got a lot more confident/chilled in my messaging over the last year and getting back into dating.

I've learned (applying all the good advice I give to others):

• it often works well/better just directly asking or saying something rather than getting into "trying to flirt in a roundabout way and drop hints"

• its better to get no reply or a meh reply and have an idea of what's happening than wait for ages

• but also, there's no need to necessarily come to any sudden decisions - things can look different in a few months time and one missed message doesn't kill me. I don't need to judge messages by standards of previous desperate/love bomber guys.

• not messaging every day if I don't feel like it can be fine, I don't need to work at someone else's emotional or dating pace and if something is meant to be it will

"Widening our areas" 🤣🤣

"Not the luck of the Irish" 😪

"Clean your nails or keep walking" 😁

Yeah I'm in Scotland.. not sure 12th is worth holding on to.

I am loving the suggestions @bangheadhere40 yours are funny.

I don't want to fall into the trap of 'trying to hard' so trying to chill re Mr HT and not messaging just to hear from him. But I want to hear from him. I don't want him to be a 3 month wonder.... but we are getting to 3 months and I'm getting nervous.
It's not because he doesn't like me, he does. I think I'm nervous because I'm not sure he likes me enough to challenge his fears/anxiety over relationships and that makes it really sad if it doesn't work out. I know I'll be gutted.

3 month curse stay out of my purse!! Haha

@Mayzee I agree...I don't think I can stick this OLD shit much longer...apologies for my language. I've spent most of my separation in lockdown and only at weekend had to endure my exh bragging about sleeping with his new partner...and calling out my name..

@LuckyLinda3 WTF? He bragged he'd said your name having sex with his new partner???

Well he's trying to get a reaction out of you... ignore ignore ignore

Good luck with the reply @SpringlikeBunk... do you think ‘will see how things pan out’ is non plussed? Its the reply i got.. didn't sound too bothered but maybe im thinking negatively?

We should write a guide on good dating! My gosh there is a wealth of good advice in these threads...

@cravingthelook exactly.....aw I did but I was so taken aback by his lack of respect for me.