Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

Morning @Shayelle2009 thanks for the new thread. How are you doing today?

Morning @Isitreally7777 👋 all good here.. back into the tinder swamp of shrek haha... how are you?

delurks
@isitreally7777
I hire a lot of web designers including freelance and can't think of a single one I had any problem finding their name or details of their work. Think about it! How is he going to get business if people can't find him.

Does anyone else find tinder just disregards your age and distance settings? Im getting a lot of 31 year olds 60 km away and further?

Yeah, as soon as it runs out of people in my settings it starts showing me randoms. I accidentally matched with someone 360 miles away recently! And they sent me a message, which was a bit pointless.

@2021manu I do get that, I don't know his surname. He doesn't know mine either and I can be found online due to my job hence why I haven't told him what it is because I don't want him to know where I work as he could also then find my work email address and phone number. I've told him what I do but not even for which type of company(that would give away where I work). I have been extremely careful with what I've told him so he has nothing to gain. Maybe I'm too careful and that is why he isn't opening up to me about that side of his life but is about his relationship breakdown.

@Shayelle2009 I'm good this morning. I'm taking a leaf out of your book and seeing who cracks first and sends the first message, I'm hoping it will be him (but most likely it will be me🤦‍♀️).

@OutingMyself i only just recreated my profile though? I dont get it! Pointless talking to any 31 yr olds, too young for me.

@Isitreally7777 if you like chatting to him and its passing the time for you in lockdown then id just keep chatting, i miss having someone to chat to. Maybe you’ll never meet, maybe he isnt who he says he is but if the chats are bringing something into your life then just take it for what it is..
then again i probably give shit advice so dont listen to me lol..

Still feel a bit gutted that the books now closed on JD but I know from experience it’s pointless hanging on for a guy who’s not really feeling it. Onwards and upwards..

Yeah that is weird then.

Did your Tall Guy reply Outing?

He did And wants to meet for a walk. I don't think I can do it until next weekend now because of childcare though, hopefully he won't mind holding on.

Oh yay!! Thats good, nice that one of them on there is actually keen to meet up and have a walk

Yes, thanks! It's good to know they aren't all going nowhere from the start

Speaking of weird stuff on Tinder - I matched with a John and the profile looked like a catfish one so I didn't bother to message. Then days later I woke up to a notification that said I had a message from John, but when I looked on the app there was no message and I was no longer matched with him. So I presumed he'd just unmatched - whatever. Now today I'm matched with him again and I definitely didn't swipe his profile again. Weird. I've also had two messages from people recently without ever having a 'you have a new match'. The messages just appear and I don't recognise the guy at all.

@Shayelle2009 just wanted to say hi and thanks for the new thread. You are so strong, a lot of us could learn from you and protect ourselves. You are quite right about how little effort it takes to send a message. We deserve more than to be left dangling waiting for crumbs. Well done you.

@LuckyLinda3... hug thank you so much 💗.. i dont feel that strong feel all anxious today but ive just done hiit which always helps. Im literally going to look like terminator by the end of this pandemic! Anytime i feel down i go do hiit, its the only thing that works!! How are you doing today?

@OutingMyself i dont like tinder much i think its full of glitches and things like this, the thing with the age and distance just pisses me off.

Checking in

And yes well done on not accepting crumbs....it really is the worst and is best to just put an end to it.

@Shayelle2009 yeah I'm fine. Still taken aback that he went straight back on to the apps but it seems to be the way. Trying to look at things more positively though...I'm just around 18mths separated, have had 4 dates and have not been dumped yet. I'm very honest and I expect that in others so maybe that's where I'm having difficulty! I'm taking the positives though and I realise that I'm good company and worthy of someone's time. I think I'll take a bit more time to myself and maybe as things start to open up I'll dip my toe in again!
What about you....are you back on the apps yet?

Hello everyone. I lingered on the dating threads in 2018 after my divorce. I deleted Bumble/Tinder more times than I care to remember. Anyone having any joy with nice men in C London???
I met one decent guy from Guradian Soulmates (really miss that dating site) in 2018 but wasn’t feeling it at the time. Anyway, we remained in touch and messaged all this time. I read back on all the messages and realized what a consistently lovely person he is. We will meet soon. Not sure it will go anywhere as he has sole charge of his 2 kids, a very demanding job, and doesn’t live in London (not far but not close enough to meet for a coffee). Let’s see. He’s invited me to a posh work event in July but I said I hope we can meet sooner.

Hi @bangheadhere40 👋

Thats really good going @LuckyLinda3! You sound strong too.. its good to think positive isnt it, i hope thinking positively will bring more positive things too im on tinder but cant be bothered at all 😟

Hi @Milomonster

I'm on tinder but it's such slim pickings, really depressing.

The odd bloke that does message asks no questions so the conversation grinds to a halt.

Seems like such a fruitless exercise 😒

@Shayelle2009 I cracked and messaged him first 🤦‍♀️ I'm so not very good at waiting. I still think I've upset him even though he says it is fine, it's funny I can flip out at him and he is fine and I say something about not wanting either of us to get hurt and he sulks and gives me two words answers.🤷‍♀️

@Isitreally7777 you sound so lovely but I really do hope hes worth your effort and that you're not making this too easy for him💐

Hi everyone. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread. I've been OLD on and off for about a year.

I've been back on the apps for about four days and this time round I've had one that talked constantly about his ex, one who sounded like Mr Bean on the phone and talked in detail about his admiration for Margaret Thatcher and another who was looking for someone to download an app to remotely control his male masturbation device.

I'm wasting my time, aren't I?

@bangheadhere40 ive deleted tinder again. Went back on for a few hours but none if them on there are JD (apart from jd lol) im just not feeling it. No motivation to try and chat and get to know anyone!! 😔
Bought myself a bottle of wine at lunch im going to tuck into that later!!!