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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

622 replies

Shayelle2009 · 18/02/2021 07:31

The sagas continue.. SmileBrew

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LuckyLinda3 · 27/02/2021 15:01

@bangheadhere40 and @pineappleonpizzaornot thanks for replying. I'm so torn because I do like him but my sister would kill me if I went there again as she thinks he just doesn't have the energy for the type of "relationship" I want. To br fair he hasn't shown much energy and what if it's just sex...??

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 16:13

Hi everyone 👋 i agree too haha! Nothing is going to change though Linda he’s not really made much effort to try and sort things out with you has he?
Had a couple of messages from mr physical but nothing much. Not asking me anything about myself at all. Another non starter me thinks

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Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 16:14

Crap about mr homeless @pineappleonpizzaornot Flowers

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pineappleonpizzaornot · 27/02/2021 16:15

Arses to them @Shayelle2009, Mr Homeless eventually messaged back, I've replied, I was nice, he says he is relaxing now after being for a run and shopping, let's see if he gets any quicker at replying!

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 17:01

Tedious isnt it...... sooooo fricking tedious!!!!

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Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 17:03

Hope everyone has had a nice day anyway and not given too much mind to dating! The suns been amazing here 😎

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Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 17:04

I didnt ask any questions in my last reply to mr physical.. the chats getting boring, its like pulling teeth

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bangheadhere40 · 27/02/2021 17:11

Either tedious and like pulling teeth or they don't leave you alone! Where's a middle ground.

pineappleonpizzaornot · 27/02/2021 17:14

Found shrek's swamp!!

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 17:42

Omg i know @bangheadhere40!!

Haha classic @pineappleonpizzaornot. Its like looking in the mirror 🤩

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OutingMyself · 27/02/2021 17:47

Oh @Shayelle2009 I hate it when they never ask anything about you. It's like they think you're falling at their feet to hear about their life!

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 18:33

Thanks @OutingMyself yeah its frustrating. Im hoping its because hes busy... ill see how things pan out for the next week but if this is just him then its a no goer! The day we matched he was more chatty, sending triple messages, asking questions, then hes just gone dull!! What gives 😕

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Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 18:34

Sorry to hear your date wasn't sparkly Outing.. has he been in touch since??

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OutingMyself · 27/02/2021 19:32

Nah, I've not heard from him and I'm not expecting to. I'm quite happy with it.

I've been speaking to another couple. One is an extreme traveler and the other I've now matched with three times and we're currently even on the fizzling it out 😆. Hopefully we'll meet this time, although we're 30 odd miles away from each other.

pineappleonpizzaornot · 27/02/2021 19:58

Mr homeless is ringing at 9pm..I'm gonna have to mention the messaging and lack of it, and see where we go from there 🤷🏻‍♀️

OutingMyself · 27/02/2021 20:13

Good luck @pineappleonpizzaornot, hope the calls goes well. Yeah it's definitely worth a conversation at least

I blurted out to Mr Matched3Times that we should meet for a walk and he seems very in to it and said its a shame we have to wait Grin

This morning's walk has made me think there's more to talking in advance tbh. Maybe there would be a spark with someone if we spoke more in advance?!

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 20:22

Feel really flat right now... Idk, you meet someone decent, all starts well then just goes kaput... fuck im just so bored of it!!!! Literally years of this shit now

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OutingMyself · 27/02/2021 20:23

Before lockdown shit did you look in real life Shayelle?

Mayzee · 27/02/2021 20:27

@OutingMyself I think it’s a balance between talking for too long without meeting and getting very invested and talking for enough time to see if you will have something in common and a bit of a spark.
The person I spoke to the longest (in lockdown one last year probably spoke for 6/7 weeks before meeting) was the biggest disappointment.
Similarly I met a guy for coffee the same day I started messaging him and while he was lovely and looked hot he was only up for casual hence the rush to meet, which I didn’t want.

With my current iron, it’s been slow and steady, met after a week of chat for a coffee in a car park!, met again after another week for another car park coffee and then a proper date with a meal 2 weeks later (the only one we’ve had in 3 months of chatting 😬) where I realised I fancied him a lot and we had a hot and heavy kissing session 😀
I will say though that I really liked his chat style straight away and knew we would at least get on even if I didn’t fancy him.

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 20:27

Yeah met people in real life @OutingMyself its just always gone a bit tits up

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Mayzee · 27/02/2021 20:32

@Shayelle2009 I really think now is the worst time for OLD. A lot of the men are bored(and maybe not even single!) and just using it for a distraction and maybe a cheap thrill if they can get someone to join in their sex talk straight away.
And all the potential dates are shit as it’s all walking - walking was not invented for dates😂 it’s a shit thing to do on a date - circling a park side by side , no eye contact, no alcohol- shit!

OutingMyself · 27/02/2021 20:40

That's so true @Mayzee. I need contact and alcohol Grin

I feel like dating at this age is all pure shit and going nowhere, but I'm trying to suppress it!

Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 20:42

Thanks @Mayzee guess im just bloody bored, like everyone else 😂 a simple chat would be nice, but guess its just too hard to find right now!!!

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Shayelle2009 · 27/02/2021 20:43

Sorry im not surpressing it right now! Actually feels good just having a moan about what bullshit it is 🙄

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havecourage · 27/02/2021 21:35

Hey all, I've been following your conversation with interest. I decided to join tinder today after been on match for the last month or 2. I messaged a guy from tinder a few times this morning over and back and then he sent me his number. Seems a bit quick to me to be moving to what's app. Is this usual or does it suggest he is only after a hook-up?

I'm also finding tinder a bit more difficult to figure out who is tall. I am 6ft myself and can't be dealing with a guy much shorter😊