Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

Hey @bangheadhere40.. and everyone (if anyone is still around?!?) hope everyone is good... my walk with mr work was cool... i dont really detect any sparks though. He's quite posh and reserved and im just a little punk lol. We are defo friends though.. hes a lovely lovely guy. I need to get back on the apps.. and try and find someone nice to chat to. Who’s on what apps at the mo, and how are you finding it? Anyone decent out there??? Xx

Hey @Shayelle2009 . I'm on and off Tinder but really not finding anyone. I matched with one last night, woke up to a message saying "wow you're gorgeous😍😍". I unmatched instantly.

I'm currently waiting to hear about a job I interviewed for last week and painting my flat so I am doing what Computer Geek and I said we would do and sorting myself out.

Hey everyone, hope your all well.
I was on match for ages and went on about 7 lockdown walks but only liked one and had to end it because I think he was married still.
Anyway this week went on hinge and had a walking date today, I liked him but he wasn’t feeling it so fine. Then get talking to someone else tonight who I thought was way too good looking to respond to me, silly thinking I know but he did and would you believe it after an hour of messaging we knew each other when we were in our teens and he remembered me first. He wants to take me out for a drink hopefully next week but he is just returning to work so we will see. It’s made me happy whatever happens and he said at least we know we are not being catfished and swapped numbers.
Anyone else with any news

Hi ladies.....small update from me.....I started talking to someone last week, he is a bit older than me (first for me), but figured I would give him a chance, but really wasnt getting my hopes up.

We met for a walk on Saturday, and he was much better looking in person, we walked for three hours! my poor feet .

He came to mine last night and I cooked, and we plan to see each other again ......this was on Facebook dating, which I had found awful!

Hi Pineapple, what a lovely update - from Facebook of all places! I tried it and it was awful but might try again now.

So the guy I got talking to over the weekend who I knew from our teenage years arranged to meet up this Sunday for drinks. Said he would book a table, that was this morning. Tonight I’m blocked on WhatsApp, our messages on hinge gone, I’m new to that so assume blocked. Why do they do that, is it a control thing? I mean we are nearly 50 come on if you don’t want to meet just say so. I thought we were meeting to catch up on old times. Would love to send him a message on fb but won’t because I’m angry 😡 why mess you around having a phone call, messaging everyday, arranging a date. It’s happened before but think this one hurts because I know him. It’s really put me off men and I just think there isn’t any nice men out there anymore

@Kat2000 could be a control thing, probably him be a coward because he is talking to someone else he prefers or is married or otherwise attached.
It is a hurtful way to behave , a quick I’m not feeling it message would be more adult. But no matter what the reason, it’s on him not you!

As this thread is quiet at the moment can I suggest you post on the main dating thread as there are dating gurus on there who will instantly make you feel better about your dating woes

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4216856-Dating-Thread-202-Heres-hoping-the-lockdown-loneliness-and-longing-eases-up-soon

@Mayzee thanks for your reply. Oh yes it’s on him totally. Better to find out what he is really like I suppose.
Thanks for the link

Thanks @bangheadhere40 - He is lovely, we are going to the Peak district this weekend for a "hike" . How is it going with you?

@Kat2000 - I got blocked just before I was supposed to meet someone, we had been talking for 4 weeks......I came to the conclusion he was just a spineless twat, and he did me a favor, try not to take it personally

@pineappleonpizzaornot yep I agree absolutely spineless. I suppose it annoys you when they are the one who asked for the meeting too it’s like why bother wasting your time. It makes me angry that I knew him years ago too not just a no body online if that makes sense. Anyway meeting someone for a walk on Friday so didn’t have to wait too long for another date 😂
Lovely to hear you have met someone on fb dating, hope you have a lovely hike. Let us know how it goes

Have a fab walking date on Friday , and I will let you know how my weekend goes

So, the lovely man I met, has turned out to be total liar......he is actually 11 years older than me and lied about his age......silly twat didnt realise his age was all over his social media!

I gave him a chance to come clean, and he still lied, so he got a message from me calling him a dirty old man and some lovely names!

I had to go to the extreme of playing detective and finding his birth certificate online and screenshotting it to him!

Turns out nearly every conversation we had was total bollocks for example, that him and sister didnt get along as there was such a big age gap (he told me 10 years) it was actually 2 years. He was extremely young when he had his kids......he was actually 25! Cant believe men do this!!

Thats me done now. Sick of OLD!

@pineappleonpizzaornot what a dick! Like what does someone achieve by doing that other than to erode women’s age boundaries - I hate lies!

I think I could have lived with it if he had fessed up straight away as you had a lovely time on your date and found him attractive. Hope you are ok , take some time to process

I have no idea what people gain from it.....you can't start something based on a lie, and by his appearance, he really didn't need to!
But, I'm the same and I wouldn't trust him now.....I find it predatory behavior, which makes me feel a bit sick!

Yeah that’s it -my upper limit for age is 5 years older so the only way I would match with someone 10 years older would be if they lied -they also would be too old for me and likely at a different life stage than I want.
I think I could get away with lying about my age by a few years and it’s tempting as I get older but it’s morally wrong!

@pineappleonpizzaornot I’m really sad to hear your update. Why why why. I just don’t understand how he could do that and think that you wouldn’t find out.
Brilliant detective work but you shouldn’t have to do that. It just makes us not trusting of all men. Sending virtual hugs (( ))

Exactly it is morally wrong, and I feel really really embarrassed and silly

@pineappleonpizzaornot ah please don’t feel like that, easier said than done I know, it’s all on him for being a liar. I suppose better to find out early on if he is lying already. Don’t let him win and stop you looking for someone else.

Took me ages to find this thread but I thought I would give a little update here as I didn't post on the main one.

So it's been 5 weeks and I haven't heard anything from Computer Geek, I sent him a message just checking in on him a couple of weeks ago which he read so I know I'm not blocked. The whole business was a complete head fuck but I've been taking some time sorting my life out and came off OLD and hid my profile on Tinder. I didn't get the job but I was 2nd choice so I don't feel too bad(they are a very hard company to get into), they even called me to tell me. I'm doing lots of training courses at work and I'm hitting the gym.

After posting on a thread on here on Friday I went and unhid my profile out of curiosity and matched with Mr Racing and we have been chatting all weekend. He seems nice (I'll have to get used to the text speak though), is uncomplicated and open (I know his surname). I've even been doing a bit of Google stalking and have seen his LinkedIn and Instagram profiles amongst other things so he is open and honest. We have agreed to go for a drink next weekend, as long as his house move goes okay(he is moving house on Tuesday) and he doesn't have work to do. He even told me the street he is moving too. So he seems an open book with no issues.

I don't have the same connection I did with Computer Geek but I'll give it a go I might be surprised and after Computer Geek normal and uncomplicated sounds like it could be nice.

Aw @Isitreallyme77 great to hear that. Delighted for you that you have invested time in yourself. Definitely go with it....uncomplicated sounds good to me!

Hi @Isitreallyme77 nice to hear your update. Well done on coming 2nd for the job.
Great also to hear you have taken time out for yourself. All the best with Mr Racing.

Hi Everyone, 27 years old and been single for two years (not been with anyone) even though I'm a bloke I don't do ONS as I have traditional values, tbh missing the intimacy that goes with Dating/Relationships happy to date anyone with kids and I don't mind dating someone older 27-40.

Hope I don't sound desperate (just seeing if anyone is in the same boat as me and wants to date? x