DH won't stop watching porn

[MsTeapot]

It's really late now but I can't sleep and yes, it's another porn one.

DH watches porn daily. I don't know if it's because he doesn't care or if he doesn't know but I can see his entire search history on our shared iPad. I found his reddit account too and he has also upvoted hundreds of pictures of naked women and women in sexual situations.

I confronted him once about this and he told me that it's normal and that all men do it. I thought we had a great sex life, and I genuinely believe we did for the past 10 years. Recently however he wants to do rough anal, deepthroating, and a few more things I won't mention that I find very degrading and he says that porn and reddit lets him experience that as I won't do it with him. I feel sick when I look at him now. Saw him with his phone on the sofa after dinner today and it made me want to throw up.

It's over, isn't it?

Also she's flattering herself, she's no loss.

You, as a reference for normality, are a loss to her. She'll probably never see that though.

God these kind of men are absolutely vile. Pornography has caused so much damage. Haven't rtft but he's a complete waste of space OP.

"you can't be fucking serious. all this because he's more adventurous". And then another one about how all guys are like that and that I'm giving up on a "good one"

😂😂 Stupid bitch

Just because her standards for men are embarrassingly low doesn't mean you're also happy to scrape the bottom of the barrel with her.

It's a massive stroke of luck you didn't have a child with this rapey little freak.

Don't message her back. She's already history. Start planning how you want the rest of your life to be.

Please don't let these awful people back into your life.

Your 'friend' is a disloyal cunt who is so brainwashed she can't see the wood for the trees.

Your husband is a dick and your friend is a bitch! Don’t listen to them, they don’t give a shit about you, how you feel, or what matters to you.

He is going to get a short sharp shrift when he starts dating as the true fact is women now a days are different to before. Now a days we say no and know our own minds more, women don’t just go along with what men want at their own expense....so good luck to him finding someone who would also aggressive anal!

Allow

These men are such cheeky fuckwits. They carry on like this as if it’s no big deal— it’s a very big deal to many many nice women , yep he 100% has the right to watch it if he so wishes- it’s partner in my opinion 100% has the right to know about it and decide if she is ok or not with this behaviour in a relationship—- and as for your friend, it really is none of her business, she clearly has pretty low standards or subscribes to the ‘keep a man at any cost’ school of thought.

I’d leave him cos he seems dumb AF.

If that's a 'good one' your friend's standards are on the floor.

Good luck with your future OP. It will be much brighter without him in it.

@MsTeapot

I told DH that I'll be leaving him and filing for divorce. He told me he knew he shouldn't have married an "uptight bitch" and has stormed out of the house to god knows where I don't care. Apparently he's contacted his best mate and told him about it because I received a message hours later from his wife, my friend (same one as before —the 4 of us have known each other for a long, long time) saying "you can't be fucking serious. all this because he's more adventurous". And then another one about how all guys are like that and that I'm giving up on a "good one".

Sent her a message telling her to mind her business and I got a "your loss" back. I can't believe my life has come to this.

Wow. It was absolutely none of her business, and she definitely shouldn't have commented on such a delicate, private, sexual issue. It is absolutely not up to her to judge you on what you want or do not want sexually. You can see from the wave of supportive comment on here that you are not alone. Ok, he has a right to watch porn if he wants to, but you also have the right to be with him and to choose what's right for you. Some people split up because of mismatching sex drives, or maybe they have different lifestyle needs - would she fire off a judgmental text in those instances too?

Also, I understand it won't feel good or relieving right now, but thank goodness you didn't have kids with him. You've saved yourself possibly years of heartache there and tied to this loser who called you an uptight bitch.

@Doomsdayiscoming

I’d leave him cos he seems dumb AF.

The ones who buy into this shit and get hooked on it usually are .

Hope your ok teapot - you are doing the right thing.
Just be careful if he comes back and call the police if he gets threatening.
You have no blame here and i hope you have friends you can talk too.💐

I'm totally shocked by what the friend said.

I'm guessing that it was the two men who were friends first and you met her that way?

One thing. If she's hearing all this from your oh to her oh to her. She may well not be getting the true story at all.

Who knows what your oh has been saying it's about.

I still think she was totally out of line though.

Well done, you've done the right thing.

Your 'friind' either doesn't realize the details of what's been going on (especially the Reddit stuff) or what she'll put up with is different from what you/most women would put up with. Which doesn't make your choice wrong at all. x

If the other stuff hadn't been bad enough, the Reddit stuff would be officially beyond the pale for most women I think, as he's your husband and he was hardcore 'flirting'/talking dirty to other women.

Stay strong. Your "friend" is an idiot. And tell your STBXH that he can go fuck himself in the arse with a cactus since he likes the idea of destroying rectums so much.

Lovely that he told his friend and wife WHY you are splitting up, not. Is nothing sacrosanct?

All she had to say was how sorry she was to hear your news. You don't need a friend like that.

Glad to hear you have made your decision OP.

Good luck, and here's hoping your life will soon get better and better.

Well done I promise you, whatever happens, you will look back and know this is the right choice.

Your friend is not a friend and actually sounds repressed or brainwashed.

Leaving someone for being a vile pig with no respect for women is the best thing to do. Stay strong.

A real friend would see if you're ok, not talk to you like shit. Cut them all off and keep your head high.
You're doing the right thing. He sounds like a disgusting wanker.

I am in a relationship and my DP probably watches porn every other day, and myself a couple of times a week. We both like to watch it when we masturbate because we don’t get as much sex as we’d like due to being apart atm because of lockdown. When we lived together he’d occasionally still watch porn and I think I did once or twice, but a lot less than normal because rather than masturbate our selves we had each other.
The difference with us to you is that we both were honest with each other and happy and comfortable with it. If it’s a boundary crossed for you, then he should respect that. It seems like you’ve told him that it’s you or the porn, and for some stupid reason he has chosen the porn. If he thinks that little of you, then you’ll defo be better off without him. Hugs to you OP, it can’t be easy.

Wow your friend is a twat! Hope your ok x

The difference with us to you is that we both were honest with each other and happy and comfortable with it.

I'm also presuming the difference is that you're not both watching porn actresses receive rough anal and gagging deep throat blow jobs, your h is not asking you to do that in your sex life and yes but on Reddit commenting on explicit pics of women with things like "fuckable throat" and "i'd destroy that ass".

It seems like you’ve told him that it’s you or the porn

It's not me if the porn, it's stop watching degrading violent porn every day, stop pressuring and manipulating me to recreate it, stop posting comments about how you'd like to throat fuck or have tough anal sex with other women whose pics you're looking at.

My h watches porn (as did I til finding out about porn hub etc made me stop looking at anything other than solo male or animated) .. but I would not be ok with any of this.

He's gone down the rabbit hole. And as someone pointed out, it's hard to imagine how a man who enjoys and wants to recreate porn like this is not woman hater. Or sees women as objects.