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Original poster

DH won't stop watching porn

216 replies

MsTeapot · 10/02/2021 00:33

It's really late now but I can't sleep and yes, it's another porn one.

DH watches porn daily. I don't know if it's because he doesn't care or if he doesn't know but I can see his entire search history on our shared iPad. I found his reddit account too and he has also upvoted hundreds of pictures of naked women and women in sexual situations.

I confronted him once about this and he told me that it's normal and that all men do it. I thought we had a great sex life, and I genuinely believe we did for the past 10 years. Recently however he wants to do rough anal, deepthroating, and a few more things I won't mention that I find very degrading and he says that porn and reddit lets him experience that as I won't do it with him. I feel sick when I look at him now. Saw him with his phone on the sofa after dinner today and it made me want to throw up.

It's over, isn't it? Sad

OP posts:
Notworking123 · 11/02/2021 15:13

Could you get a dildo and shove it hard down his throat as far as you physically can whilst he gags and you make sexual grunts, and maybe shove his head down on it hard to show him how much you're enjoying it? Then pour some yoghurt down his thoat at the same time. Ask him if he still enjoys it after that.

Mrsmummy90 · 11/02/2021 15:24

I wasn't sure from your original post but from reading further comments, it definitely does sound over. I'm so sorry OP.

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:09

"Women" were on a forum raving about how much they enjoy anal and gagging deep throat blow jobs - riiight.

Sounds more like the sort of thing some autogynaephilic trans sexual men would be writing about while wanking in their stockings & heels.

Even if there are are actual women on that forum; it's clearly a sex/fetish forum and as such would be populated by extremely sex oriented people who enjoy talking/boosting about sex acts with strangers online. Does sound sound like the profile of an average woman - not to me.

He's either delusional or a gas lighter and liar .. or both.

And his comments on Reddit ..... Fuuuck.

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:13

If he's so convinced he can get a woman who enjoys gagging and anal etc. because there are plenty of them on that forum (who are probably either men getting off on writing from the pov of a fantasy woman, or transexual men) then let him toddle off and find one of them to get into a relationship with. I'm sure it'll all be the dream he thinks it'll be.
And it'll be super easy because you're the exception to the rule of us females, right.

BeautifulStar · 11/02/2021 16:23

.

Hont1986 · 11/02/2021 16:29

You sound controlling and he sounds uninterested. Split up, be done with it.

Butterymuffin · 11/02/2021 16:34

@gaijinetal

If he's so convinced he can get a woman who enjoys gagging and anal etc. because there are plenty of them on that forum (who are probably either men getting off on writing from the pov of a fantasy woman, or transexual men) then let him toddle off and find one of them to get into a relationship with. I'm sure it'll all be the dream he thinks it'll be. And it'll be super easy because you're the exception to the rule of us females, right.
This! Off you go to enjoy the primrose path, sunshine. Don't hold him back from this any more, OP. Seriously, I know it's been devastating for you, but you'll be happier with your life in the long run after a split than he will.
gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:38

@Hont1986

You sound controlling and he sounds uninterested. Split up, be done with it.
She doesn't sound remotely controlling and he doesn't sound uninterested; he sounds like s porn sick, degenerate, misogynist, selfish, coercive, delusional, sleazy wanker.
NiceGerbil · 11/02/2021 16:40

Controlling Hmm

BeautifulStar · 11/02/2021 16:42

This reply has been deleted

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Hont1986 · 11/02/2021 16:43

You seriously don't think it would be seen as controlling if a woman came on here and said her DH had been monitoring her search history on their ipad and had found her Mumsnet account and was reading her posts? come on.

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:48

Oh op if this wasn't so upsetting, saddening , frustrating etc for you, you could have had some fun with this; tell him you're glad he feels he can be so upfront about his fantasies and sexual wants because you've become clearer and cleaner to you (helped by some porn) that your ultimate fantasy is to be a dominatrix to a sex slave - he'd start with doing house work in a latex costume, then massaging you, then hours of cunnilingus, then pegging him with dildos of increasing size.
Tell him that you're happy to meet his wants if he meets yours; it'll be a week on/off for each of you; starting with you ) because you've already tried some of his).

Apileofballyhoo · 11/02/2021 16:52

@Hont1986

You seriously don't think it would be seen as controlling if a woman came on here and said her DH had been monitoring her search history on their ipad and had found her Mumsnet account and was reading her posts? come on.
And when she said she liked looking at pictures of naked men and commenting that she'd like to destroy their colons for her sexual pleasure? MN would still say her DH was controlling?
gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:54

He’s also been badgering me lately to partake in “anal fisting” and “waterworks”. He thinks this is all completely normal of course!

Well you probably should consider waterworks (water sports?) ..
As long as it consists of you pissing on his face.

BeautifulStar · 11/02/2021 16:55

You seriously don't think it would be seen as controlling if a woman came on here and said her DH had been monitoring her search history on their ipad and had found her Mumsnet account and was reading her posts? come on.

I wouldn’t care if dh found my mumsnet account as there’s nothing I wouldn’t say to his face, I suspect OP feels the same.

But sending messages to women saying you want to “destroy their arse” and other vile things is, I would think, something he wouldn’t want his partner to know. It’s hardly the same thing. If you suspect your partner is addicted to porn and it’s affecting your sex life and mental health are you supposed to just grin and bear it? I doubt Op’s mumsnet posts would cause her partner such grief.
I don’t know if you’re on a deliberate windup or are just a bit thick Hont1986

Hont1986 · 11/02/2021 16:58

"And when she said she liked looking at pictures of naked men and commenting that she'd like to destroy their colons for her sexual pleasure? MN would still say her DH was controlling?"

They probably would! Grin

MondayYogurt · 11/02/2021 16:58

@Hont1986

You seriously don't think it would be seen as controlling if a woman came on here and said her DH had been monitoring her search history on their ipad and had found her Mumsnet account and was reading her posts? come on.
You're deliberately confusing mumsnet, a wide-ranging woman centric discussion forum, with violent hardcore pornography. Hmm

If a woman came on here and said "DH checked my ipad and doesn't like me constantly watching men being degraded. All I said was I want to see a guy's throat smashed in and his arse destroyed," you know very well the replies would be the same as here.

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 16:59

@Hont1986

You seriously don't think it would be seen as controlling if a woman came on here and said her DH had been monitoring her search history on their ipad and had found her Mumsnet account and was reading her posts? come on.
I think it was the demands for anal, gagging blow jobs and other degrading sex acts from him (alongside the gas lighting that it's normal and she's s prude) that gave her the slight tip off that he's gone down the rabbit hole of porn, Reddit etc. She's completely entitled to understand the full context and extent of his activities and viewpoints.

Which are disturbing.

BeautifulStar · 11/02/2021 16:59

waterworks (water sports?) ..

Oh, did I get the name wrong? Well whatever, I shan’t be peeing on anyone - I’ve brought up 3 dc’s and 2 dogs and have cleaned enough piss off carpets over the years thanks!

EarthSight · 11/02/2021 17:04

Haha. How does he know that at least half of those women on the forum aren't men getting their rocks off?

King shaming? 🤣🤣🤣

I would say that's something that is reserved for fetishists, like men who like PVC or have a foot fetish. I don't think it should be applied to every single sexual act, otherwise we wouldn't have any room left for disapproving rape or child abuse, would we? Although, I'm sure there are men out there bleating for being shamed for those things and would like more freedom to do what they like to other people (who also are usually more vulnerable than they are). I'm sure they're very much aboard this 'kink shaming' accusation online.

EarthSight · 11/02/2021 17:05

Kink*

Although I'm sure he wouldn't be averse to using the phrase 'king shaming' either!

Pokske · 11/02/2021 17:07

He does not respect you, he takes his fantasies out on you when you don't feel confortable.
The lack of respect is very damaging in the long run.
If I were you, I'd be out now !
Good luck, lady. You deserve more !

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 17:28

@BeautifulStar

waterworks (water sports?) ..

Oh, did I get the name wrong? Well whatever, I shan’t be peeing on anyone - I’ve brought up 3 dc’s and 2 dogs and have cleaned enough piss off carpets over the years thanks!

You used the word 'shan't" - I think I'm in love (in a purely grammatical, non lesbian type way).

(Btw I think.thry do it in a shower so no pee clean up necessary, but that's besides the point).

SecretThermalsAreTheBest · 11/02/2021 17:29

You are totally justified in your feelings. Sex is between two people, for BOTH people's pleasure, not a service of one for the other. As well as pleasing himself he should be wanting to please you and make things enjoyable for you as part of it. It's disgusting that he's trying to pressure you into acts that you are not comfortable with - whatever they are.

My partner would be immediately turned off by the idea that I was not enjoying myself. Because he respects me and wants me to have fun too.

I'm sorry but I think it's over - you deserve somebody who respects you and your body.

gaijinetal · 11/02/2021 17:30

How does he know that at least half of those women on the forum aren't men getting their rocks off?

I'd love to be a fly on the wall if he actually got to the point of video calling one and realised Roberta is in fact Bob.