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Original poster

Gutted

233 replies

Andithoughtiwasspecial · 06/02/2021 03:08

Name changed. Been with P 6 years. Fell asleep on Sofa tonight woke up went to bed. P fast asleep in bed you tube on. Turned it off messages open last message to ex from 22 46 "I love you with every fibre of my being" There's no excuse is there? I thought we were happy. I thought I knew him. I thought many things but at the very least he lies to me. Any advice MN bar do not do the pick me dance. I suppose I decide what I want and do that.

OP posts:
wewillmeetagain · 23/02/2021 08:56

Oh OP this is bloody awful, that disgusting pair deserve each other. Apart from all the hurt they have caused you this must be so confusing and stressful for their own children. I know its not easy for you at the moment but you will emerge from this stronger and happier. Meanwhile the likelihood is that under the strain of a new baby and him having to parent a child that isnt his their relationship will fall apart once again.

isadorapolly · 23/02/2021 09:08

You’re well rid of him, thank god you didn’t have any kids together! You sound amazing and should be proud of how you’ve handled it all x

mcmooberry · 23/02/2021 09:11

Worse and worse, you poor thing. But thank goodness you saw the message and knew it was over, because to find out that she was pregnant now, if it's his, would be even more unbearable than this I think.
I believe he will live to regret this, if his isn't already.

SoupDragon · 23/02/2021 09:20

Could it have been a message to his child?

I love you with every fibre of my body? Really?

Do you not love your children with every fibre of your body? Confused

That said, I think it's unlikely to have been to a child although it did cross my mind. It's a bit "straw clutching".

tenlittlecygnets · 23/02/2021 09:26

OP, I feel for you. What a shit show. But it's NOT of your making. This is all down to your ex - and his ex. You have nothing to feel bad or stupid about.

You sound like a strong women. You and your dc will be fine.

These are for you. Flowers

YoniAndGuy · 23/02/2021 09:36

How awful. I'm so sorry OP.

However, if it's any consolation - in a couple of years' time - you will have moved beyond this and will be (if your posting is anything to go by) - in a stronger position, with a happy life, doing things that work for you and being true to yourself. Him? One of two things:

  1. Alone (or with some randomer) - wondering WTF happened, as it's very doubtful that they'll stay together... they split originally, he very much doesn't 'love her with very fibre blah blah' - as you know, really - their marriage was weak then and it's hardly going to be stronger now. It is very very unlikely with the extra pressures that it will work at all.
  1. With her and really pretty fucking unhappy - because what a bloody MESS he has made of his life - he's going to be back where he started but with not only has that (those?!?!) extra children he didn't even want, but they're not his and there's another dad in his family- oh my good god.

He will, I absolutely guarantee you, be lying there back in the bed he left, wondering what the FUCK he could have been thinking... and that, if they couldn't even get past the disagreement about another baby without divorcing, how on earth that level of 'love you with ever fibre' (snort!) is going to see them through this shitshow. Oh and his own kids don't even actually seem to want him back??!

There is only one winner here, and it's the woman who acted fast to get rid of this total disaster of a man as soon as she realised what a complete piece of work he was.

Sexnotgender · 23/02/2021 09:39

What a dick! I’m so sorry.

Thenose · 23/02/2021 09:42

I'm so sorry.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 23/02/2021 10:04

May they live together in happiness to the end of time as at least then this whole shitshow would have a point.

Brava, OP. Your composure and dignity are admirable.

I hope that the scan baby isn't his, however as that would mean his recent declarations that he wants you to delay the house sale and give him a chance to repair the relationship is just heaping one set on betrayals and bad behaviour on another. (His remarks are wholly inappropriate but if they were made while awaiting the birth of another child of his, that is wretched.)

Tisahardlife · 23/02/2021 10:05

He's a disgrace and you have incredible dignity, I am so sorry he has done this to you Flowers

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/02/2021 10:10

I'm so sorry this is happening to you @Andithoughtiwasspecail Sad. And by the way, you are special. Please be kind to yourself ((hug)).

The scan picture must feel like a kick in the teeth. I can but speculate how it feels to his two teenaged children. Daddy left them rather than father a third, is how I'd imagine children would feel. Now he's back (with the eldest - and maybe the youngest too - pissed about that) and he has fathered a third, and there's their half-sibling there too. So maybe he didn't piss off because he didn't want more children because he's just doubled the number he'll be parenting - maybe he just didn't want us and it's all been lies SadAngrySad. I'm obviously speculating, but - I don't think that is going to be a happy household.

I'm sorry for the children, but I personally would take some cold comfort from knowing that the lying deceitful bastard was feeling the consequences of his actions.

NotSeenBulling · 23/02/2021 10:15

So they have had DCtogether. He didn't want any more DC so they divorced. Wife has a DC with another man and is now pregnant again with her first husband while he was with andithoughtiwasspecial . Is this right?

Although this hurts like hell right now OP, you are well out of this car crash. It might look like he has got what he wants but the contact from the young lad shows all is not well in paradise.

How can some people be so utterly vile? How do people like this have friends that speak to them?

TheDogsMother · 23/02/2021 10:17

God OP I am so sorry Flowers. What an absolute asshole this man has been. How crushing when you think you know someone. I know it's incredibly tough for you but a complete fresh start will be good. He and his wife split up before so add two babies to the mix (one not even his) and it's almost certain they will split up again. What a shit show the pair of them have created. You are dignified and strong.

MeltedCioccolato · 23/02/2021 10:42

You're well out of this! What age is he OP? Having two young children (and two older ones) at any age is difficult but I'm guessing he must be well into his forties so this is not going to be the happy ending he's hoping for as he'll most likely be knackered at having to start again with nappies and sleepless nights!

VodselForDinner · 23/02/2021 10:56

Oh OP, what an utterly terrible betrayal. I’m sorry he’s put you through this.

BornOnTwelthNight · 23/02/2021 11:10

@NotSeenBulling

So they have had DCtogether. He didn't want any more DC so they divorced. Wife has a DC with another man and is now pregnant again with her first husband while he was with andithoughtiwasspecial . Is this right?

Although this hurts like hell right now OP, you are well out of this car crash. It might look like he has got what he wants but the contact from the young lad shows all is not well in paradise.

How can some people be so utterly vile? How do people like this have friends that speak to them?

It is not known whether the baby is her ex partners, that she’s just split from or op’s ex.Op asked him if it was theirs, he refused a response!

So possible scenario is that Op’s ex has been having an affair with his ex wife for some time, he is father of the baby and the reason ex wife’s relationship broke down is her partner found out!

BornOnTwelthNight · 23/02/2021 11:13

@NotSeenBulling, sorry I misread what you’d written....you’ve just stated exactly what I said!🤦🏼‍♀️

Candyfloss99 · 23/02/2021 11:13

This is so awful, I feel sick just reading it, you will recover though in time. Better things are ahead.

wheretonow123 · 23/02/2021 11:16

What partners do in the evening is a red herring.

My wife watches Coro, Emmerdale etc. I watch some stuff with the kids or visit my parents.

My wife goes to bed about an hour earlier. We dont have to be in each others pockets all of the time.

I agree with those saying to chuck him out forthwith. Don't even look for an explanation - I think you know the story and, as someone said, whether it has gone further in recent times is probably irrelevant in this case.

Youllbeoldertoo · 23/02/2021 11:36

Does sounds great, hope you’re ok

BloggersBlog · 23/02/2021 12:28

OP posted 2.5 weeks ago, 2 posts. I think we can take it as read that she doesnt want any advice

Lordamighty · 23/02/2021 12:32

@BloggersBlog

OP posted 2.5 weeks ago, 2 posts. I think we can take it as read that she doesnt want any advice
OP is still posting, just spelled her username slightly differently so it isn’t highlighted.
Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 23/02/2021 12:34

@BloggersBlog
Think you need to read the thread.

JosephineBaker · 23/02/2021 12:58

All power to your elbow, OP. May you move forward to a brighter future without this shitweasel dragging you down.

I'm so sorry he's done this to you.

HollowTalk · 23/02/2021 13:09

It's very telling that his own son didn't want him to live back at home.