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Original poster

Did you have sex on your wedding night?

216 replies

Wakingup55643 · 05/02/2021 23:08

That's the question, just out of interest. We didn't, and I'm now going back through our relationship analysing why we are where we are now. And I just wondered if that was still a big deal or not, the wedding night thing.

OP posts:
RuggeryBuggery · 06/02/2021 09:31

Yes... because I was a virgin! 🙈
Had done everything else but..
(It was a religion thing)
Main memory is - it hurt

Leah2005 · 06/02/2021 09:33

I once read something that said the French think the best time for love making is in the afternoon. Before the main meal of the day (when your belly is stuffed and the last thing you want is someone jumping on it) and before anyone has drunk too much or is too tired. Makes perfect sense to me. Don't beat yourself up about occasions in the past. Try to remember to have a roll on the bed in the afternoon in the future!

cherrypop86 · 06/02/2021 09:36

Yes we did.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/02/2021 09:39

No-it’s was approximately 4.30am and we were very drunk. Didn’t the night after either as too hungover. The night after that we were travelling on honeymoon, so on a plane and the night after that only just there and shattered so wasn’t till then next night! Worth waiting for though! Together 21 years now-good times and bad but have weathered the storms individually and together.

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 06/02/2021 09:41

We did it the morning of the wedding...

LunaNorth · 06/02/2021 09:43

First time, I didn’t want to but he coerced me, some might call it rape.

Second time, nope. Too full, too drunk, felt a bit sick - but made up for it the next morning Smile

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 06/02/2021 09:47

Yes, but not sure if OH did.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 06/02/2021 09:48

Yes but DH had had quite a lot to drink so it wasn’t the best we’ve ever had. I was also pretty tired as well. I got DD (4 at the time) to sleep in my parents’ room first as she was pretty upset by midnight and just wanted me. I then had a shower because I felt all hot and sweaty and I wanted to condition the knots out of my hair before sleeping on it and making it worse.

Made up for it the following morning though. Wink

dREt · 06/02/2021 09:49

No and should have been a warning sign. Our sex life was sporadic before we got married but I turned a blind eye in the hope that it would get better. It didn’t. Once on honeymoon and then sporadic again. 12 years on and it’s non existent. Haven’t had sex for 15 months now. Before that it was once every six months. Makes me sad but I love him so what do I do?

Amotherlife · 06/02/2021 09:51

No. Glad to hear it's common though.

We didn't have an evening do but went back to my parents house to talk to family members who all congregated there.

Then had to drive to a hotel at the airport and get up at 5am for a flight the next day. He had booked the honeymoon suite but we just fell asleep and missed the champagne breakfast the next day.

Craftycorvid · 06/02/2021 09:52

No. It’d been a long day, though we had a very quiet ‘do’ and were both still sober at the end of it. We’d been living together for years at that point anyway, so there was nothing new there. It was all pleasantly low key and a lovely day. Wouldn’t marry again tho’ Grin

Livandme · 06/02/2021 09:54

Op, are you OK? Where are you at in your relationship?

Babdoc · 06/02/2021 09:55

My parents got married during WW2. They couldn’t afford a honeymoon and didn’t get much leave from the RAF/WAAF anyway, so spent their wedding night at my aunt and uncle’s house.
Naughty aunt wired all their bedsprings with strings of tiny bells.
So the parents felt obliged to erm...make them ring all night. Grin

RobinWoodPrinceofLeaves · 06/02/2021 09:55

I can’t remember!

But it’s an antiquated tradition from when people fad not slept with each other before marriage. Nowadays, not sleeping before marriage is rare, so not as “special”.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 06/02/2021 09:56

No cos we went away and stayed in a big house with loads of friends so we all sat up drinking til the early hours - wanted to get my money's worth for my dress!!

Namenic · 06/02/2021 09:57

Op - I don’t think it is a sign of anything. Focus on where your relationship is now. I look back on my wedding day and it was happy and great to see everyone there. But it wasn’t relaxing for us (I actually enjoy other people’s weddings more in some ways). First few years after marriage were hard - hadn’t lived together before. Now, even though we have less sex, we are better at it and I think we communicate better. See if you can get counselling and spend some relaxed time together. All the best

needadvice54321 · 06/02/2021 09:58

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Yes, but not sure if OH did.
What do you mean @TwoLeftSocksWithHoles ?
fantasmasgoria1 · 06/02/2021 10:01

1st time no. I did not want to marry him but was pressured by my dad as I had a child and he thought it was the decent thing. This was in the 90s not the 50s! 2nd time no. He was drunk but then again when wasn't he!

dicdicnurse · 06/02/2021 10:04

We tried (after the hair grip removal) but we were both so drunk we ended up in fits of laughter and accepting it was probably not the best idea

RuggeryBuggery · 06/02/2021 10:04

@Namenic

Op - I don’t think it is a sign of anything. Focus on where your relationship is now. I look back on my wedding day and it was happy and great to see everyone there. But it wasn’t relaxing for us (I actually enjoy other people’s weddings more in some ways). First few years after marriage were hard - hadn’t lived together before. Now, even though we have less sex, we are better at it and I think we communicate better. See if you can get counselling and spend some relaxed time together. All the best
I can vouch that it is not a sign of anything or that if you did you’re more likely to be in an better place 😞
HandyBendySandy · 06/02/2021 10:05

Good God no, he was drunk, and although I don't drink I was so tired I thought I was going to vomit.

Plus, like many others have mentioned, it took 20 minutes to get the grips out of my hair and by then he was snoring in the scattered rose petals.

Made up for it in the morning though, and in the 20 years since.

What do you think is wrong in your relationship OP? Is it lack of sex or more than that?

Macronisanarse · 06/02/2021 10:08

No, didn't get to bed until 3am. Fairytale thing is just daft, we've been very happily married well over 20 years now and had been living together for 6 years before we got married so didn't see it as a sign of anything in particular.

VintageStitchers · 06/02/2021 10:08

No, because we went straight back home from Registry office and had guests staying.
Still haven’t had a honeymoon xx years later, maybe one day...

Iseeyoulookingatme · 06/02/2021 10:11

No I was knackered as had a busy day the day before the wedding and dh was knackered as well. I was also pregnant but didn't realise it at the time. We did the morning after though.

Useranon20 · 06/02/2021 10:15

No.
We had sex the night before, as we stayed in the suite together.

On the actual day though we got up early and busy all day. By the time the evening rolled around, we were shattered.