How long do I wait for him?

[outofreachsofar]

We were together for 5 years.
We didn't live together and have no children.
I seen him twice a week.
One night he came over and was acting different..he told me he wanted to end it and wasn't in love with me anymore.
I text him every day (and he replied ) we have met up since and I grabbed his phone..he had been texting another woman.
I deleted her number from his phone and text her telling her he had a GF
She then blocked him.
This was November.
I have lost my temper with him when he doesn't check in with me.
The thing is he has never really experienced love.
He isn't from a loving family.
I know he loves me,he wants to be with me but is scared of something.
I told him he will regret this soon and realise how much I loved him.
How long do I wait for him?
We text daily(mostly me initiating ) but I'm trying not to kick off at him.
What is he scared of?
Commitment ?

I wouldn't wait one second longer!
I've heard the lines "I'm scared of something", "I'm not quite there yet" and felt that I could be the lovely, kind and caring person to make my ex finally experience love (he too had never been in love).

I WISH I'd have truly listened to what these things mean ..... that he is the one with the problem, not you.

Go and find yourself someone who will treat you right. Whether that is now or in a few months etc. Look after yourself!

Also, he has been texting other girls ...... massive deal breaker!

This guy is bad news, get rid and chin up lovely xx

He's never actually turned round and said he is scared but I just can't think what else it is.

He is scared of you, you sound like a bunny boiler.

Well that all sounds insane.

I agree, he is probably scared of you!

You are trying to be in complete control of him! Grabbing his phone, deleting phone numbers, what on Earth?!?

That came across wrong.
We were talking in his car and he was being weird with his phone (that's the only reason I grabbed it)
I was angry,he had been texting another woman after we had been together years.

He broke up with you?

It sounds like you're harassing him.

He said no, it's no.

Doesn't sound healthy. If you aren't together anymore then I would move on with your life. Leave him be. You may worry about him, he may need help but from what you've written your not giving it to him.

The hills are that way ————>>>

You deserve someone who doesn’t cheat on you. While you’re chasing him you’re missing out on the chance to meet someone better.

Leave the poor guy alone. He doesn’t want to be with you. Yes it’s tough, but you cannot change someone’s feelings.
Stop texting him and work on moving on

From what you say - it seems he quite likely wants out of the relationship.

He doesn't love you but he's probably scared of being alone and thinks it's easier to keep you hanging on massaging his ego whenever he needs it until be meets someone better. If he wanted to be with you he would be. You can't make someone love you but you can make yourself completely miserable and destroy your self esteem until you don't even recognise yourself trying. Stop contacting him now, have a cry and feel the shit feelings and then move on.

Why are you waiting for him when he's moved on?

He doesn't want to be with you. Leave him alone!

You don't wait. 5 years together and only seeing each other twice a week? Sounds like he never really took the relationship seriously and wasn't that invested.

I was in a similar situation a few years back. Non committal. Seeing him a few times a week, no progress after years. No good will come of a relationship with this man. In the end, I got pregnant (unintentional). We broke up two months after the baby was born, and although we get along most of the time, I have to put up with him in my life for the foreseeable.

My advice would be to stop contacting him, set yourself a challenge for a month. I guarantee you will feel better. I also guarantee that he will notice the lack of contact and miss the ego stroke he's getting from someone who at the moment, lives for him.

You need to figure out how to accept the fact that he does not want to be with you.
Stop texting him and let him go.

I know I must sound nuts but I'm honestly not.
In my head I thought we were together for the long haul.
It just came like a bolt out the blue

Do not let a man tell you he doesn’t want you more than once.

You've already waited 3 months (possibly 5 years) too long.

It's over. It clearly wasn't working. Move on.

Do you still see him, he sounds like he doesnt want a relationship with you.

OP for God's sake stop it. You sound insane. Yes 5 years is a long time, I get that it's hard to move on. But you had no right to grab his phone, even if he was "being funny" with it. That's just crazy. Even if you'd still been together I don't think you should have done that, but to do it to you ex is completely out of order. And deleting numbers off his phone, texting other women pretending he's still with you, texting him every day and trying not to "kick off" at him for not going back out with you, making up stories in your head about the real reason for you break up and then holding that against him - if you were my ex I'd seriously be considering reporting you for harassment. You sound like you've lost all perspective of what appropriate behaviour looks like. He's your ex. He isn't scared of experiencing real love or whatever bollocks you've told yourself, he's been very clear that he just doesn't love you any more. He's entitled to not love you, to change his mind, to dump you, to date other women, to not reply to your texts or "check in" with you - he isn't your boyfriend any more! Leave him alone and get some therapy.

I said to him "you do realise one day your gonna regret this ? And realise how stupid you've been"
He said I know
So he knows that he is making a stupid decision.
I just think if he really wanted me out of his life he would have blocked me.

How long do I wait for him?

What are you waiting for him to do?

He has ended it and moved on. You are acting quite crazed. Literally.

Stop waiting, honestly just stop!!

At this point you are literally pushing the relationship down the road, and your pulling him with you....reluctantly!!

Is that what you really want? Someone who is with you reluctantly???

If he really truly wanted you, he would be contacting you willingly, he would initiate that contact, and her certainly wouldn’t have been texting some other woman, and breaking up with you.

Even if he is self sabotaging, sabotaging your relationship he is doing it quiet willingly.

The breaking up with you, the texting the other woman are all symptoms, symptoms of not being happy enough if his relationship with you. There isn’t always some huge argument, or some reason behind it sometimes people are just not happy or think they could be happier in a different relationship or alone.

As sad as you find this OP I would let this one go. He’s been unfaithful if only through text, he’s not exactly jumping up and down from rooftops to want to be with you, it’s basically all you have left is the habit of being in each other’s lives. You can do so much better than this!!!