AIBU to ask DH to have a shower before we have sex?

[J1llae]

DH suggested going to bed about an hour ago. I said ok, I’ll have my shower. Do you want yours first, after me or together?
Immediate fed up face ensues. No, I’m not going to bother says he.
Why not? Is it an unreasonable request? We’ve just returned home from a lengthy, brisk, sweaty but enjoyable walk.
Now he’s huffing and on the computer upstairs and ignoring me.
AIBU to think he should shower out of respect for me?

Yes he bloody well should! Where does he get off thinking it’s ok to stick his sweaty stinky junk anywhere near you? He’s above himself isn’t he. Now he’s sulking? That’s out of order. He could have jumped in the shower for a quick one minute douche like every teen boy and he’d have had sex. Why is that not good enough for him. I’d leave him he tonight and try and talk about it tomorrow.

I guess it depends how sweaty! I probably wouldn't, after a walk, if things were getting passionate and we were about to get sweaty again anyway 😂

Maybe he thought the showers meant actually go to to bed to sleep. I would say to him you didn’t mean that but the smell of sweat would’ve given you the boke.

Yes. A shower before sex when possible is only polite, unless it has to be a real quickie.

Is he normally like this?!

Did he shower this morning? I wouldn't expect him to have another one after going for a walk.

It’s really does depend on how sweaty/smelly you’re talking about.
If I’d already showered within the last 24 hours I really wouldn’t see the need.
Has he already showered today?
If so, then I really wouldn’t expect him to bother again unless her was literally dripping sweat.

It depends. Has he already showered today?

We always have a shower in the morning and then another in the evening. Definitely wouldnt want to DTD if not both feeling fresh and clean.

Given that, if really bother you I’d have perhaps expected that he’d make the 2 minute effort.

Hmm we must be a bit rank then as it wouldn’t cross my mind to break the mood by having a shower before going for a shag . However if you always shower first and he does too then YANBU and there is nothing more off putting than a sulky manchild.

He showered early this morning, so I guess it’s me that’s being unreasonable? I just think I have a better, more enjoyable experience when we have both showered first. I also don’t like his huffy attitude. Does this a lot. He doesn’t like to compromise very often.

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who hasn't showered recently unless I was wrecked ... in my youth 😂

You have to perfect the technique of seducing them into a shower ... making it part of the foreplay 😅

I don't shower immediately before sex, but have always showered that day. And might quickly attend to my.. er, lady bits if I think things are looking good for a shag. I don't ever tell my partner to shower before sex though. He would anyway if he's really sweaty / hadn't yet done so

If he fancied a bit of spontaneous sex having to wait till all parties involved had showered and dried would not exactly fulfill that fancy.

We shower daily but no, don’t specifically shower before sex

Say what?
I can't think of anything more passion killing than demanding a shower.
But then I'm odd and I love a bit of fresh man sweat 😂
DH and I shower or bath every day...but shagging happens at any hour regardless

I’ve trained DH to hop in the shower if he wants my mouth anywhere near his member. Does the trick!

Often sulks and doesn't like to compromise... very sexy then 🙄

@J1llae no OP YANBU even if he's had a shower this morning so what that was ages ago and you've been out and about sweating since then. Me and my partner both get a shower first thing on a morning and last thing before going to bed regardless of DTD or not but especially then! Everyone has their preferences.. some people like it but him going in a mood about it and not compromising is a bit childish x

@CherryValanc

If he fancied a bit of spontaneous sex having to wait till all parties involved had showered and dried would not exactly fulfill that fancy.

Agree

Oh come on op no wonder he’s got a huff on! If he’d showered this morning then the only sweat would be from his walk so it’ll be fresh and manly smelling not manly. I love my DH fresh smelling sweat

We only shower if oral is happening but would shower after a long brisk walk.

@J1llae

He showered early this morning, so I guess it’s me that’s being unreasonable? I just think I have a better, more enjoyable experience when we have both showered first. I also don’t like his huffy attitude. Does this a lot. He doesn’t like to compromise very often.

Doing things the way you want isn't him compromising things. Having sex in the shower would be compromise.

It's not unreasonable to want someone to be clean before you have sex with them.

You aren't obliged to have sex with him at all, so if you don't fancy it with him dirty/sweaty then that's 100% reasonable.

Any reason not to want to have sex with someone is fine - if you're not into it, you're not into it.

I wouldn't shower after a walk, if I'd showered earlier in the day. And I wouldn't expect DP to unless he stank 😂. I think I'd be a little offended if he said "you going to have a shower before bed yeah?"