I tried to leave OH last night and ended up back home!

[tiredandfrumpy]

Last night felt like the final straw for me however I ended up back home. It all started by me asking for the phone charger so I can get a bit off charge so I can set my alarm so I can't get up in the morning.

He wanted the charger back after 5 mins so wouldn't of been enough charge! This spiralled buy him pushing me of the bed into the wardrobe. Screaming in my face.

I packed mine and the kids things up managed to finally get past him and get them into the car this is when he shows me that I'm no longer on the car insurance he took me of weeks ago and forgot to add me back. Ive been driving round for weeks with no insurance. I ended up driving round the corner and just sat in Asda car park baring in mind this was 3 in the morning.

I came home at half 5 now I'm WFH on 2 hours sleep I'm so angry but I managed to get myself a charger so he no longer has that control over me now.

I just want out!! I'm so desperate my poor poor kids having to witness this shit all the time. It's my payday today so he goes to be hanging round me like a fly on shit.

I need to make a plan and leave this weekend as I'm off work but I have no where to go.

Good luck, Hope you feel safe soo.

Thinking of you🙏poor pet

Good luck OP, hope you get away from him safely.

I've just got here thought I would come on my own first. The place is absolutely disgusting there is no furniture or nothing.

I can't do it I can't stay on here 😭 the area is so rough trying not to be a snob but I can't bring my kids here.

Oh darling.
You can. I’m assuming it’s temporary? So it is just to get you out and away?

You can’t do a moon light flit you need to do it with your stuff. You are going to need some help from the police to get yours and your children’s stuff out.
You will be ok. this is just for now.

It's ok, you don't have to stay there tonight. Don't let him know about it, get it cleaned up, get some cheap second hand furniture to start you off. Don't give up now!

Could you manage a night or two

Then keep looking ??

Sorry but you can not go back to this man
He will escalate

This is what they do

I've just got back now, the whole property is empty I can't even afford to furnish a whole house right about now.

It's only temporary, once you're away from him you can look into private rentals, you're already paying for everything. It's better for your children to live somewhere rough for a while than to witness their mother being abused, they are not too young to be affected. I worked in this field for many years

Air mattresses
Sleeping bags
Womans aid help you to furnish your home I have donated goods for this many times

You can do this

Where are the kids ?

It doesn't seem like it now but once you've left and realise how free you are then you won't care about any material things. You've got the flat now, get onto woman's aid and council to help getting basics in before the day you're planning on leaving. Try local Facebook buy swap sell sites and Gumtree Spock etc for stuff. You can do this xxxxxxxxxx

You can do it! It’s temporary! Get yourself some furniture bits, look on Facebook marketplace because you can get decent bits on there and join groups for local areas because people give stuff away. Take what you need and then overtime you can replace it to be what you like. You can keep looking for somewhere you want to live in the meantime.

You’ve done the hard bit! Now start working to get your friends back, I am sure they will be understanding:

This is only temporary.
Your end goal is to be safe.

Have you support from people.

There’s nothing wrong with those pictures other than the lack of furniture. Your key priority should be keeping everyone safe.

You can do this - an empty flat is better for your children than a house full.of stuff where they see and hear mummy being abused.

It's neat, clean and dry and safer than where you were. Treat it as a stepping stone.

Sometimes those rough areas are actually ok....we had to live in a bit of a dodgy area for a year and the neighbours were the nicest we'd ever had...and have EVER had actually.

Stick with it OP! You might even get a council house of your own...far more secure than another private rental.

The problem your going to have is that if you refuse the temp accommodation the council have offered you they don't have to keep offering you the support. Temp accommodation can often be a b&b, a hotel, in shared accommodation like a refuge type of situation, so the fact that you have been offered a little flat like that means that you lucked out in that sense. You need to weigh up the pros and cons, if the relationship is so bad you can't stay there long enough to save a deposit to private rent your own place, this temp accommodation might be your only option unless you go to a family member or friends.

The pictures look fine. Just go - remember you have the rent money as I wouldn’t give him any of it! Tell the brother who’s your friend, are they nearby?

Have a look at freebies on gumtree people give away all sorts.

There’s nothing wrong with those photos it looks clean, there’s carpet at least. It may not be the best of areas but we are on lockdown you can literally lie low for a few months. Look up the furniture reuse network, there will be a local charity near to you that’s selling second hand furniture. Nothing wrong with second hand furniture my house is filled with it.

Get on free cycle first thing this morning. People can be unbelievably generous, we had an old bed in the garage for months that would have been happy to get rid of. Did you bring the car or have you left it?

It looks ok, really! Clean and you can convince the kids it's some kind of adventure. Do it and imagine his face when he realises you have gone. How dare that miserable coward hit you!

It's only temporary. Make sure he is not tracking you on your phone though.