I tried to leave OH last night and ended up back home!

[tiredandfrumpy]

Last night felt like the final straw for me however I ended up back home. It all started by me asking for the phone charger so I can get a bit off charge so I can set my alarm so I can't get up in the morning.

He wanted the charger back after 5 mins so wouldn't of been enough charge! This spiralled buy him pushing me of the bed into the wardrobe. Screaming in my face.

I packed mine and the kids things up managed to finally get past him and get them into the car this is when he shows me that I'm no longer on the car insurance he took me of weeks ago and forgot to add me back. Ive been driving round for weeks with no insurance. I ended up driving round the corner and just sat in Asda car park baring in mind this was 3 in the morning.

I came home at half 5 now I'm WFH on 2 hours sleep I'm so angry but I managed to get myself a charger so he no longer has that control over me now.

I just want out!! I'm so desperate my poor poor kids having to witness this shit all the time. It's my payday today so he goes to be hanging round me like a fly on shit.

I need to make a plan and leave this weekend as I'm off work but I have no where to go.

[LionelMessy]

How did move go OP?

[Redruby2020]

@dublingirl66 ☺️👌

[Mamatoabeauty]

Have a look at your local community gifting page on Facebook. The generosity is overwhelming. You’ll be able to furnish your place in a matter of days for no money at all.

[user1471462428]

Op I know how scary the future is and how horrible people’s attitudes towards you are even though you are currently walking through hell. You can do this and you are stronger than you know.

[HelenRose1111]

OP, I have clean spare towels, quilts, pillows, a few pots and pans, odds & sods and am not far from you, would happily bring them to you - save them from gathering dust here.
Please don't delay, now is the most dangerous time especially if he figures out what you're doing

[Chanandlerbong01]

Hope all is well op

[picklemewalnuts]

Remember it's temporary. You don't want to be moving things all over again in a few months time- just keep it simple.

[billybagpuss]

Hope this week goes well

[dublingirl66]

Fwiw I attempted to leave 20 plus times

Often went back when he rang me
Went back sometimes and said so sorry to him

It is hellish

Please stay safe

Get out as soon as you can ❤️❤️❤️

[stinkystinky]

Is there anyone at work you can trust? Please if you can tell someone there you need help. We have a support email for domestic abuse, have you got anything like that? People will want to support, ask for unpaid leave for when you make the move even if you have to. We also have advance loans? Might help with a deposit.

[pickingdaisies]

Back off Kory1, the OP DOES need it. She's just in a bit of denial and, probably, shock. She's scared.

[Kory1]

I'm presuming the council have given you this flat as emergency accommodation?? So why are you not going to stay there? There will be other families that desperately need a place, and won't care that it's unfurnished. They will just be happy to have a roof over there head. If you don't want it let someone who needs it have it

[Nomnomarrgh]

Good luck. Dd the other day reminded me of when we came here. I’d totally forgotten that we had nothing. You get things, like local charities actually exist to fill up a flat with things so they are livable.

[OnceUponAMidnightBeery]

Agree with what everyone else has posted, look for local community groups on Facebook, freegle, always worth posting for what you need, you’ll be amazed what turns up.

And it’s worth looking on fb for a local dog fosterer too, I’ve taken in a few for people moving/escaping dangerous situations but Wales is probably a bit far for you!

[dublingirl66]

People can be so kind in these situations

Reach out

Get out ASAP

These abusers snap so quickly and often the kids are in the firing line

[AnnaMagdalena]

OP, I know it's hard and horrendous - but you have to just go. It might really matter, further down the line, if you are able to say that you took the children out of an abusive environment as soon as he did what he did. Otherwise he - or a lawyer - will be able to argue later on "it can't have been that bad, as she didn't take the children and go straight away: what kind of mother would keep her children in an abusive situation?"

(Not that I'm saying this is what you are doing, but I have known situations like this which have been turned round on the woman later on).

Possessions are just stuff. People are enormously generous to others in need, on the whole (they were to my children and me, and I now find ways to give to other people whenever remotely possible).

[IloveJudgeJudy]

Hi, OP. I haven't written on your thread yet bu I admire tremendously what you're doing.

I'll tell you a little story. I was selling some living room furniture some years ago, very cheaply. When the buyer came to pick it up we chatted. She told me she was moving into an unfurnished place; I knew that DM was trying to get rid of other furniture but hadn't got round to doing anything about it.

Long story short, buyer got loads of furniture for the small price she paid me for some living room furniture. People can be very helpful.

Hopefully you'll come across some generous people. There are many. I've seen loads on my local Facebook page.

[dublingirl66]

How you today!

This gets better

I remember leaving my demon
And coming back to my parents house
To my cold room
With no bed and no belongings

I was just so relieved to be safe

It is crap
No doubt.
But each day you feel safe and peaceful

The joy I feel now at night when I spread myself out safely in my bed without worrying he will hit me is just priceless 😘😘😘😘😘😘

[Gubanc]

OP, in my area there is a re-us group on FB where people offer free things, furniture, clothes etc. You could look these up as well.

[Milliepossum]

I also understand the feeling of how unfair it is that you and your children have the upheaval of moving to somewhere unfamiliar. Once you get the furniture basics you need to get your personal things out of the house if safe to do so, please organise for the police to be there so you can do that safely. Please have the children somewhere else and not in the house when this is done, maybe a friend or someone from work sitting with them at the flat. Good luck OP, your doing well.

[Milliepossum]

You’ve made a good start OP, you know where you and your children are first going to go. I think it’s ok to let your workplace know, but don’t tell his brother. If his brother tells him then your children and you are in a very dangerous situation. I know, I’ve been there. There were threats of suicide and in the end he did it even after numerous welfare checks by the police. This happened once he knew we were about to leave- until then the threats were about coercive control and while he was taking my money he was fine with abusing us. When it was clear the money supply and control were on the cusp of ending he escalated. The detectives said we were lucky he didn’t take us with him. We hadn’t moved out yet as I hadn’t organised somewhere to go. It is paramount that he knows nothing until after you have left. These assholes are unpredictable.

[Bixs]

You’re doing amazing

[Seth41]

You are doing well
Keep at it

[MadeForThis]

Good luck

[ScrumptiousBears]

Is there a Freecycle in your area. Where I live (not local to you) loads of people donate stuff for free