I need help processing wtf just happened

[Coffeetableconundrum]

NC for this, I’m so confused and bewildered.
My wonderful, loving, perfect DP of 3 years and I just got into what I thought was a silly joke argument about something tiny. I was laughing away, and tickling him, and next thing he was holding on really tight to my wrists and asking me the same question again and again. Suddenly I was afraid, and stopped laughing and told him he was frightening me and answered his question.
He immediately started to apologise and told me he didn’t know why he’d got so worked up and he should have just explained he hadn’t found it funny, etc etc. I couldn’t stop crying and told him I didn’t understand what had just happened. He kept asking me to forgive him and then said he thought he was about to pass about, before collapsing on the floor. He was pale and clammy, and out of it for about 10 seconds. I’ve never seen that happen before.
When he came to and felt a bit better I asked him to leave, which he did without any problems, apologising again and saying he didn’t understand why he had reacted in the way he had and asking to speak to me tomorrow.
I have no idea what to think. I can’t reconcile the loving, supportive person who feels like home with what just happened. It came out of no-where. But I was genuinely afraid. Is that how it starts?
Please please please can I have a handhold.

OP I think that if you want to stay with him, he does need to work out exactly what it was that triggered him, why he acted like that, well enough to explain it to you properly. Otherwise it is still there, subconsciously, and will come up again. Can you get him to think back and write down the conversation as he remembers it, to work out what he was reacting so strongly to?

As a totally different issue, my dc do similar things to what you described you doing, teasing and poking and withholding info and joking about withholding chocolate, and I do lecture them about not doing it and say "if the other person isn't laughing, it isn't a joke." Is it fair for you to "own" this and tell him that so that he can factor it in when he is trying to work out what triggered him?

And overriding both of the things above, I do think you need to think long and hard about your fear response, remember how you felt and work out if it was a fear response. AFAIK a fear response is a deep subconscious reaction to something, and is there to guide you. You might know rationally that this wasn't a sackable offence situation, but if you felt strong fear in the moment you do need to work out where it came from and heed it.

might (sorry) need to push on the diabetes thing, or at least keep it at the back of your minds. I have friends who have only had diagnoses after ten years or so (by other friends who are gps as it happens) - it can be a complex issue with dots not being joined.

Just posting in support, OP. There ares ome vile trolls on this site and they seem to have been out in force.

*are some vile trolls

Just come to this thread now OP and read in disbelief as people picked you apart.

I can’t believe the amount of victim blaming going on.

FWIW, I believe you.

This thread is not nice. Poor OP. This is MN not at its best!

Plus as a diabetic, I'm not convinced by all the diabetes suggestions. It could be, but I doubt it. I think it's just a man who lost control.

Hope you get it all resolved OP in whatever way that turns out.

Wishing you the best OP. Jesus you can't reach out for comfort or advice any more without someone tearing you down. This forum has become a haven for nasty comments and bullies. Shame!

Sorry you had such a horrible expeirence, OP, compounded by some of the responses here. I actually thought I'd wandered into AIBU becasue the replies were so brutal and out of line.

Nothing any more constructive to add, just that if your partner is serious about making amends, he needs to get himself to the Drs and be completely honest about what happened and how he's feeling.

People are vile on here OP and there is A LOT of projection going on. I left a thread/let a thread die about being proposed to because the answers I received about it were starting to turn. People seem to forget it's a person behind the thread

Mumsnet is horrible atm. Everyone is taking out their own happiness and frustrations on life to people on here.

Unhappiness!*

@Oblomov20

This thread is not nice. Poor OP. This is MN not at its best!

Plus as a diabetic, I'm not convinced by all the diabetes suggestions. It could be, but I doubt it. I think it's just a man who lost control.

Hope you get it all resolved OP in whatever way that turns out.

It seems like massive grasping at straws to justify yet another violent man. And why is the op responsible for an adult man’s health?! Madness.

I dated someone years ago, for a couple of years, who would faint during an argument. I was so convinced i even called 999 more than once. Guess who was faking and turned into a control abusive asshat? Clue? Not me.