Unable to contact by boyfriend.

[Penny15]

Ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found it incredibly difficult to contact my boyfriend. We arrange times to ring each other so when I try he hasn’t been picking up for hours and hours on end. He had never done this until a few weeks ago. We never text we always call each other a few times throughout the day and talk for a hour at night before I go to sleep.

I’ve been unable to contact my boyfriend since 7.30 last night when he said he was going to sleep. This is highly unlike him as he’s usually up till 2/3am. I tried to call him at 10pm and he answered but didn’t speak then the call disconnected. He said he would ring me when he woke up. I woke up at 7 expecting a missed call and nothing so I tried to call and it’s ringing and ringing no answer. So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer. From 10am his activity on Amazon prime has stopped and his phones still ringing and ringing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be worried. I’m not close to his family but I’ve tired contacting his mum and she’s also not answering and I’ve messaged his sister who hasn’t responded but I expected that. Help me...

Stop trying to call him and let him call you, doesn’t sound like he’s very invested in your relationship

Why would you try to phone him after he’d already said he’s going to sleep?

Hmm I would be questioning him wanting to be in the relationship if he’s making himself unavailable. Why not text him and ask if anything is wrong then stop trying to contact him.

Are you worried that something has happened to him, or are you worried that he's lost interest in your relationship?
Is it possible someone else is watching his Prime? I used to log in as my mum and watch stuff on her account until I gotmy own.

I'm sorry, op, but this doesn't bode well. I'm thinking he wants to end things and is taking the coward's way out, hoping that you'll be the one to end it. I would grant his wish because games like this are ridiculous.

Could be anything. He may simply be going through a bad patch and not want to speak to anyone just sitting watching cheap and feeling depressed.

It sounds like he's checked out of the relationship.

Crap not cheap

👻

He is ghosting you. Don't call him again!

Called him because I seen he had commented on a post on Facebook of a mutual friend 2 mins earlier

No it’s not possible it’s my account only me and him have the password for the account.

I would stop calling him.

He's checking out of the relationship. He's probably just going to get worse until you get the message, rather than have a conversation with you.

Change the amazon password. Forget him.

Yes I’ve been worried he’s depressed and I’ve talked to him about it but he’s not one to open up about his feelings he told me not to worry about him. He’s lost interest in stuff he loves to do. He lives on a farm and he’s a usually out fixing things taking things apart and he’s not been for weeks

Change the Amazon password and see how quick he gets in touch then. Don't contact him - he knows you've been trying. the onus is on him to contact you. If he doesn't contact you, you have your answer.

@HmmSureJan

He is ghosting you. Don't call him again!

They have been in a relationship for SEVEN years. This isnt a quick Tinder couple of dates type thing.

Op - has this happenned before? Is he under a lot of stress at present or is he just being a bit of an arse? Stop calling him for now and stop messaging his family. You do that if you are worried he is dead or injured and he has shoen you he isnt either of these things Wait until tomorrow and see if he contacts you. If not could you send him a brief whatsapp or text saying you are worried and is he ok?

He could have shared your password with other people. Definitely change it. If nothing else it might get a reaction out of him.

You seem to be catastrophising that something terrible has happened when he's clearly capable of watching Prime and posting on Facebook - it really does seem like he's trying to ghost you.

If you are genuinely worried about his welfare, I would start contacting his friends.

Change your passwords to everything & prepare yourself to either be ghosted or dumped.
Either way....don’t phone or text him again, that could quickly be seem as harassment.
Good luck & I’m sorry.

You have tried to call him a lot. He's obviously ok if he's watching TV. He may well feel depressed but it's not your job to be hounding him with phone calls - he doesn't want to speak.

Stop contacting his family, it's inappropriate. He isn't missing, he's just ignoring you.

Give it a few days. If still no contact then message his mum. Explain that you're worried about him and could she check up on him. Ask her to let you know if he'd rather you didn't call.

I know it must be gut wrenching but he's entitled to not contact you. Stop chasing it.

😟
Have you ever even met him in the flesh?

I would stop calling him. He knows you're trying to get in touch and is obviously ignoring you. If you keep this up he will undoubtedly pull the "you're crazy and controlling" card as an excuse to exit the relationship instead of the real reason.

You know he's alive and well (he can't be wallowing too badly if he's watching Amazon and commenting on FB posts) so he clearly wants some space from you but is too cowardly to actually tell you that.

He’s not been him self recently, he’s self employed Gardner and window cleaner so he obviously can’t do gardens right now but he’s not even been going to work to do windows in over a month now, it’s never happened before if I’ve not been able to contact him it’s only ever been for a hour at the longest other than that this has never happened

You've been in a relationship for 7 years - it's not like you've only just met a random on OLD or something. You obviously know him well enough to recognise this isn't normal behaviour - however jumping to the conclusion you've been ghosted could be incorrect i think in this instance.
At the moment - surely EVERYBODY is a bit depressed to some extent so that may be the issue here. Maybe like someone else suggested he's just having a bit of a mope about - watching crap on telly and not really up to calling you. I agree it's a bit rude to not at least say something to you though. If, like you said he finds it difficult to open up constantly calling an messaging probably isn't going to help as he'll feel nagged or pressured to be upbeat. Perhaps just send him a message saying you are concerned about him as you haven't heard form him - but you will wait for him to call you when he's ready? Whether he's depressed - or checking out of the relationship you'll find out soon enough but I would definitely stop hassling him.

You are sounding a bit desperate, needy even. He has family to call on in an emergency but suspect he is simply taking time out. Are you, or do you believe you are, exclusive?