Unable to contact by boyfriend.

[Penny15]

Ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found it incredibly difficult to contact my boyfriend. We arrange times to ring each other so when I try he hasn’t been picking up for hours and hours on end. He had never done this until a few weeks ago. We never text we always call each other a few times throughout the day and talk for a hour at night before I go to sleep.

I’ve been unable to contact my boyfriend since 7.30 last night when he said he was going to sleep. This is highly unlike him as he’s usually up till 2/3am. I tried to call him at 10pm and he answered but didn’t speak then the call disconnected. He said he would ring me when he woke up. I woke up at 7 expecting a missed call and nothing so I tried to call and it’s ringing and ringing no answer. So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer. From 10am his activity on Amazon prime has stopped and his phones still ringing and ringing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be worried. I’m not close to his family but I’ve tired contacting his mum and she’s also not answering and I’ve messaged his sister who hasn’t responded but I expected that. Help me...

Yes we spend weekends together we’ve been engaged for 3 years and looking on buying a house together this year

We are engaged

Sorry op, but I think it's over.

Change all the passwords and see how long it takes him to get in touch. If he is using Prime and commenting on FB then sorry to say but he is intentionally ignoring you.

Are you due to get together this weekend or are you not seeing each other in the current situation?

@Charmatt

Change the Amazon password and see how quick he gets in touch then. Don't contact him - he knows you've been trying. the onus is on him to contact you. If he doesn't contact you, you have your answer.

I also though this Change the password and see what happens. Change it on any joint accounts you can, Netflix etc.

I seen him on Saturday and he seemed fine we didn’t stay because of corona but he didn’t want me to go. I mentioned about finding it hard to get hold of him and he said there was no reason and he was sorry it wouldn’t happen again then was fine up until yesterday

Give him some space, it's been one night. This is unusual behaviour, he may be going through something. You're coming across clingy and insecure. He'll call.

He doesn’t have any children or a wife I made this post for some support not someone being nasty to me when they can clearly see I’m already distressed

Leave him be, he isn't required to reply to you. Yes it's a little rude but he's allowed to be on his phone and not calling you. Your incessant calling would put me off too, especially now you're contacting his family.

He commented on someone's FB status? Was it a normal comment, or anything concerning?

Well, if he needs a bit of space then give it to him but make sure he knows you're worried and need to have a proper conversation with him about how he's doing and the impact that his behaviour changing has on you.

Oh, and I've fallen asleep before watching/listening to something on Prime and it just keeps autoplaying the rest of the series so he may have been asleep when he said he was. Do you generally find he's dishonest with you?

No he’s never dishonest he will always tell me. I don’t not trust him it’s not like him even when we have had a falling out he always calls me I’ve never not been able to get hold of him in 17 hours.

You’ve not been able to contact him since 7.30 last night and your worried . Text him say ring me back then leave it , what sort of person constantly rings someone.it’s insane to constantly make contact with someone he will see you’ve rang a million times .

If he is depressed he just mightn’t want to talk.

Posting on SM is a lot less intrusive on your time and energy than a phone call is.

I’d maybe leave it a while and see if he contacts you today.

Youre obviously finding this very difficult but it is possible that your anxiety is making him more anxious about getting in touch. He may be worried that he's going to be facing an argument or a telling off, or he might just not be ready to articulate how he's feeling. If you have no reason not to trust him, then trust him.

Hi OP, you've been together for 7 years and engaged so would not assume the worst yet. Perfectly normal to worry about your depressed partner not answering calls.

He is very likely depressed but part of being depressed is it's difficult to talk to people about it. Even your partner. Particularly since you're not there in person. And calling him repeatedly will only make him feel worse.

I would just send a message saying you're worried about him, but understand if he needs some space. If he can let you know he's ok and call whenever he's able. Then just leave it till he reaches out.

Will you have a chance to see him in person soon? I would save the convo about how he's feeling/future of your relationship till you're both together rather than in these circumstances.

I wouldn’t listen to all the people on here saying he’s being a ghost and wants to end things. Just give him time.
I think you mentioned he was slightly depressed and wasn’t doing the things he’d Normally do. He’s probably just taking time out, not just from you but from everything.
Just give him a quick ‘upbeat’ text like “hey, hope you’re ok, here if you need to chat’’ and just stand back.

Something has prompted this.

What that something is, you don't know, but you're not with someone for 7 years, engaged and looking for houses together, to suddenly get blanked for no reason.

Have you been arguing or is this a completely weird bolt from the blue? Has he tried to end the relationship before and hasn't really been invested since? (Sorry for putting this so bluntly but) it's less that he's not responding to you, but more that he's not even given you an explanation why. He doesn't care that he's dismissing you. He's not fussed that you're obviously going to be worried or upset, or he would have let you know he didn't want to speak and why.

Sorry, but I'd say it's over for him, and he's not even decent enough to say so, he's just hiding until you stop calling.

Personally, I'd find several calls a day then an hour-long one at night with the same individual absolutely suffocating.
It's not necessarily over, but please give the poor man a bit of space.
And phoning his mum is not a good idea unless you have reasons to be worried about his wellbeing apart from him not answering the phone.

@islockdownoveryet

You’ve not been able to contact him since 7.30 last night and your worried . Text him say ring me back then leave it , what sort of person constantly rings someone.it’s insane to constantly make contact with someone he will see you’ve rang a million times .

What sort of person let's their partner worry about them for 17 hours without a simple text even saying 'I don't want to talk, I'm fine'

@Bluetrews25

Personally, I'd find several calls a day then an hour-long one at night with the same individual absolutely suffocating. It's not necessarily over, but please give the poor man a bit of space. And phoning his mum is not a good idea unless you have reasons to be worried about his wellbeing apart from him not answering the phone.

If he does find it suffocating then he should say. Not just not answer the phone randomly one day with no explanation.

Are you concerned for his welfare OP?