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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Unable to contact by boyfriend.

262 replies

Penny15 · 12/01/2021 11:55

Ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found it incredibly difficult to contact my boyfriend. We arrange times to ring each other so when I try he hasn’t been picking up for hours and hours on end. He had never done this until a few weeks ago. We never text we always call each other a few times throughout the day and talk for a hour at night before I go to sleep.

I’ve been unable to contact my boyfriend since 7.30 last night when he said he was going to sleep. This is highly unlike him as he’s usually up till 2/3am. I tried to call him at 10pm and he answered but didn’t speak then the call disconnected. He said he would ring me when he woke up. I woke up at 7 expecting a missed call and nothing so I tried to call and it’s ringing and ringing no answer. So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer. From 10am his activity on Amazon prime has stopped and his phones still ringing and ringing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be worried. I’m not close to his family but I’ve tired contacting his mum and she’s also not answering and I’ve messaged his sister who hasn’t responded but I expected that. Help me...

OP posts:
HelloThereMeHearties · 12/01/2021 22:31

So "struggling" is the excuse he's come up with for ignoring you, is it?

3orangekissesfromkazan · 12/01/2021 23:32

Cool story bro

Ontheboardwalk · 12/01/2021 23:38

Hoping get a few more comments in to read before the deletion message

feellikeanun · 12/01/2021 23:42

How cruel of him not to just say he wanted space.

Yoshinori · 12/01/2021 23:52

.

RickiTarr · 13/01/2021 00:35

Disney Daniel! Fabulous.

isthismylifenow · 13/01/2021 07:18

@villamariavintrapp

So he was just ignoring you then.
Grin
isthismylifenow · 13/01/2021 07:19

What was he watching on Prime?

The series I am watching is quite gripping, so maybe its the same one....

londonscalling · 13/01/2021 07:53

I feel a bit sorry for the OP.

She's got a boyfriend who she has been with for seven years. He is always on the phone to her. However, he's recently been depressed and hasn't called.

She's therefore worried about him. During lockdown we should all be looking out for people's mental health.

OP does sound overly anxious, but again, lockdown has done this to many of us.

She's now found out he's OK but is struggling and doesn't want to be in contact with her. Lots of you are making fun rather than supporting her.

Give her a break!

MiddleAgedLurker · 13/01/2021 07:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the OP's request.

ScrapThatThen · 13/01/2021 08:28

I'm sorry for what you and he are going through. If you have a hunch this is depression OP, it is a bad sign / warning sign when people distance from loved ones. Hope his Mum can help you and him. Lots of very different views on this thread but that's because there is not much to go on because you are dealing with your life not giving endless justification to the Internet . Don't worry about posting here, just talk to people who can support you irl whether this is about your relationship or about his mental health xx

IEat · 13/01/2021 09:31

Sounds like he wants some time away from you. Stop calling him. Stop worrying. Give him time to miss you

HelloThereMeHearties · 13/01/2021 09:53

@londonscalling

However, he's recently been depressed and hasn't called

OP is the one who has decided he is depressed. He says he isn't. And it isn't that he "hasn't called", it's that he's hanging up on her without speaking, and then ignoring her calls.

All while watching Amazon and Facebooking Hmm

londonscalling · 13/01/2021 12:01

[quote HelloThereMeHearties]@londonscalling

However, he's recently been depressed and hasn't called

OP is the one who has decided he is depressed. He says he isn't. And it isn't that he "hasn't called", it's that he's hanging up on her without speaking, and then ignoring her calls.

All while watching Amazon and Facebooking Hmm[/quote]

Yes I understand this, but people can shut themselves away, watch TV, play games and say they are OK. Those around them can see they are struggling with life.

Of course, it would just be that he's messing her around and treating her badly. If this is the case, we should be kind to the OP as she has been with her partner for seven years and this must be hurtful!

Original poster
Penny15 · 13/01/2021 17:50

I never posed on here for people to respond with nasty horrible comments. I posed on here as i was worried about my partner. There is nothing wrong with me and my partners relationship he wants to be with me and he loves me I asked him did he want space and he said no. He’s feeling down and just wants to lay in bed watching tv for a few days in which is fine. I struggle with mental health my self and reading all these comments from people who don’t even know me being so judgemental has left me feeling very upset and hurt. I am also a human with feelings and I would never post anything that would hurt or upset someone else.

Thanks you to everybody that had some lovely comments and support when I needed them.

OP posts:
LST · 13/01/2021 17:58

There are a lot of people on here op that are amazingly supportive and helpful. Then, there are judgmental, vile twats. A lot have reared their heads on your thread.

You did the right thing. Only you know your dp and you were worried about him. Ignore the twats and concentrate on you and yours

Original poster
Penny15 · 13/01/2021 18:04

Thanks for your lovely comment. And I agree nasty vile people knowing there comments will upset others.

OP posts:
Itstimetoquit · 13/01/2021 19:27

How is your partner doing is he feeling any better x

LionelMessy · 13/01/2021 19:28

Good luck going forward OP

MLM268 · 13/01/2021 19:34

@Penny15 some of the comments on this thread really upset me, never mind how much they must have upset you. I would assume none of the people posting the horrible, judgemental posts have ever suffered with MH issues or known someone to have. I would've done exactly as you did if it was my DP and if it turned out he was a twat, okay, at least I was a decent human being. I hope you're okay Flowers.

Samedaysameshit · 13/01/2021 21:06

HelloThereMeHearties

So "struggling" is the excuse he's come up with for ignoring you, is it?

WOW!
Please don’t get a job with the Samaritans!
Well done OP you know your boyfriend better than anyone here and if your instincts told you something was up you did right to act.

HelloThereMeHearties · 13/01/2021 21:09

But nothing was up.

Samedaysameshit · 13/01/2021 21:10

How did she know that?

Totaldick · 13/01/2021 22:00

Oh OP I also feel crap for you receiving nasty comments. I genuinely feel for you and really hope you and OH make time to reconnect and just chill. Don't worry about what other people think, just look after yourselves. Hold each other, talk, laugh, sleep, eat, whatever it takes, just hold on. Wishing you all the best X

Itstimetoquit · 15/01/2021 03:02

@Penny15 why didn't you just update this thread,instead of starting a new one,you say now you can't get hold of him as much as you would like and he's sleeping all the time but he's also texting another women,I'm so confused I think you should run....