Unable to contact by boyfriend.

[Penny15]

Ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found it incredibly difficult to contact my boyfriend. We arrange times to ring each other so when I try he hasn’t been picking up for hours and hours on end. He had never done this until a few weeks ago. We never text we always call each other a few times throughout the day and talk for a hour at night before I go to sleep.

I’ve been unable to contact my boyfriend since 7.30 last night when he said he was going to sleep. This is highly unlike him as he’s usually up till 2/3am. I tried to call him at 10pm and he answered but didn’t speak then the call disconnected. He said he would ring me when he woke up. I woke up at 7 expecting a missed call and nothing so I tried to call and it’s ringing and ringing no answer. So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer. From 10am his activity on Amazon prime has stopped and his phones still ringing and ringing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be worried. I’m not close to his family but I’ve tired contacting his mum and she’s also not answering and I’ve messaged his sister who hasn’t responded but I expected that. Help me...

@Samedaysameshit

How did she know that?

Well, from the amount of detail she’s given in her new thread about him, he seems to have been dismissively treating her like crap for a while now, as well as messaging other women, so deep down I suspect she knows that he’s fine in himself, but a bit of a dick overall.

So it turns out we were right...

@Samedaysameshit

HelloThereMeHearties

So "struggling" is the excuse he's come up with for ignoring you, is it?

WOW!
Please don’t get a job with the Samaritans!
Well done OP you know your boyfriend better than anyone here and if your instincts told you something was up you did right to act.

Please don't get a job as a marriage counsellor!

Turns out we were right, you were wrong... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4136387-Should-I-be-worried

@LST

There are a lot of people on here op that are amazingly supportive and helpful. Then, there are judgmental, vile twats. A lot have reared their heads on your thread.

You did the right thing. Only you know your dp and you were worried about him. Ignore the twats and concentrate on you and yours

The "judgmental, vile twats" were right about him. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4136387-Should-I-be-worried

OP, I think you're being prickly because you know people were right to call him out on his behaviour. People aren't being unpleasant to make you feel bad, they're trying to get you to open your eyes and see his behaviour for what it really is.

Decent people don't ignore their partners, refuse to answer their calls and treat them the way your partner has treated you. Your follow-up thread just emphasises how badly he's been treating you.

I know it's not nice to hear, but his behaviour is screaming that he wants out. Decent people don't do what this man has done. Please raise your bar - you deserve so much better than this.

OP I was in a LDR for four years and a friend of mine was also. When they start to modify their behaviour, they are not depressed, they are checking out. They have met someone else or are simply fed up with the relationship and don´t want to make the effort anymore. LDR require a massive amount of effort. I know you don´t want to hear this but I believe your relationship is nearing its end.

Ok so like the rest of you I only had the scant amount of information presented to go off.
All I was saying was the OP was right to go with her instincts if that is what she thought at the time.
The fact that she then started a new thread with more information (?) without referencing this thread it a bit strange
But from the info we all had I think jumping to the conclusion he was a dick rather than he could be in serious danger was a big call.
It’s like catchphrase
One square is revealed and you are convinced you know the answer.
We have just had the funeral of one of my sons best friends, 20, I found some pictures of him 6 years old at my sons birthday party.
We are all in bits.
I’d rather be wrong 99 times out of a 100 than be worried I had read the situation wrong.

So sorry for your loss @Samedaysameshit. I was picking up on more than you were, ie reading between the lines, but as you say I guess it's better to be safe than sorry.

He’s ghosting you and taking the cowards way out. Sorry. Let him call you and ask him for the truth

Give him some space. Just text you love him. Leave it for a bit.

No one's being horrible to you. They're being realistic. If someone wants to talk to you, they will. When men start hiding, ignoring your calls and saying stuff like they're 'struggling' as an excuse, it's never a good sign.

The reason you're lashing out at people on this thread is because you know this and don't want to face up to it.

Why not spare yourself the heartache?

"I’d rather be wrong 99 times out of a 100 than be worried I had read the situation wrong."

When you think like this, you leave yourself open to chancers.

A son's best friend is a very different relationship to a romantic one. People fuck around in romantic relationships all the time. They get bored and check out. They lie. They cheat.