Unable to contact by boyfriend.

[Penny15]

Ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found it incredibly difficult to contact my boyfriend. We arrange times to ring each other so when I try he hasn’t been picking up for hours and hours on end. He had never done this until a few weeks ago. We never text we always call each other a few times throughout the day and talk for a hour at night before I go to sleep.

I’ve been unable to contact my boyfriend since 7.30 last night when he said he was going to sleep. This is highly unlike him as he’s usually up till 2/3am. I tried to call him at 10pm and he answered but didn’t speak then the call disconnected. He said he would ring me when he woke up. I woke up at 7 expecting a missed call and nothing so I tried to call and it’s ringing and ringing no answer. So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer. From 10am his activity on Amazon prime has stopped and his phones still ringing and ringing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be worried. I’m not close to his family but I’ve tired contacting his mum and she’s also not answering and I’ve messaged his sister who hasn’t responded but I expected that. Help me...

I'm sorry, he's ignoring you. You know he's safe as he's been online and watching TV. He's not alone as he lives with his family. Don't embarrass yourself by turning up.

He’s 25 in 24

An hours not a long distance relationship. That’s practically local

How old are you op?

Text him now. Tell him you're about to drive over. I give it about 30 seconds for him to respond saying you don't need to.

I’m sorry but I think he’s ghosting you.

Sounds like he just wants a bit of space. If he's watching tv and commenting on Facebook, I highly doubt he's rocking in a corner plotting his own demise.

Yes, it's unusual for him to not to have responded to you but perhaps he just wants a bit of peace and quiet. Calling incessantly and contacting his family makes you look incredibly needy.

Be interesting to see what reaction you get when you turn up. I'll bet it's not positive.

@Bluntness100

An hours not a long distance relationship. That’s practically local

How old are you op?

But not local. Liverpool has an exploding Covid rate will he or they thank you for travelling? Agree with messaging to say you will come over, to get a reaction.

Stop calling him op. Give him some
Space. Whatever is up with him, putting pressure on him and badgering him is going to make it worse.

So I had a look on Amazon and he was watching Amazon prime he had watched 4 episodes so I kept trying and no answer.
I honestly think this is a bit excessive. You need to step back. I know it's not what you want to hear.

Just text him and say you’re really worried about him and can he please just let you know he’s okay. He can’t be in too terrible state to respond to a text if he’s commenting on Facebook.

@Orf1abc

I'm sorry, he's ignoring you. You know he's safe as he's been online and watching TV. He's not alone as he lives with his family. Don't embarrass yourself by turning up.

I think this too, sorry.

Barring any real issue with him, I think he's being a massive prick.

I would turn up, and probably end the relationship face to face

I think you have been noticing some signs of depression and while today might not be a crisis, it might be a good opportunity to say 'I'm worried about you' and get him to open up or go to the GP.

Change the password and see if he calls.

@craftbeer

Barring any real issue with him, I think he's being a massive prick.

This. I'm sorry, OP.

This isn't a popular opinion but I have been in a few LDRs and I think you don't fully know someone until you actually live with them. Seven years in a long time but if you're both young and you've never spent weeks and months together with no break, there are sides to the person you won't have seen yet despite this being a fairly long relationship. It's shit he's not communicating with you at all, and you seem really anxious about this - I wonder if he has any idea of how this is affecting you? It does sound like he's about to/starting to ghost you.

You also mentioned one of his relatives that he's living with is an addict, did I get that right? That's a pretty big thing, do you think living with an addict is having an impact on him? Could he be going down the same route?

An hours drive is not a long distance relationship!

He's being a dick by ignoring you but you are coming across as very clingy by ringing him constantly. Why didn't you just ring him once then text him and ask if he's okay this morning once he hadn't got back to you? If he's checked out the relationship or is re thinking things then seeing endless missed calls from you won't help that.

Change the passwords on your Prime account and just wait for him to get in touch. If he's watching TV and commenting on Facebook then he's alive and well

OP - if he wanted to speak to you, he would. He's active on social media and has been watching stuff on Amazon. If he wanted to, he would text, call or contact you via Facebook. But he's choosing not to.

Please have a think about the kind of person who would actively ignore their fiancée for hours on end, knowing they're worried or upset. It would take him five seconds to send you a text or pick up the phone.

He doesn't need a welfare check. He's fine - he's just ignoring you. I know that's not nice to read, though.

If this has been going on for weeks then maybe he's hoping the relationship will just fizzle out (which is a dick move after 7 years together since you were 17)

I understand your distressed op but try to think logically, it really hasn’t been that long since you spoke, you know he’s on sm so hopefully his state of mind is okay. I would text and say you’ll give him space then stop contacting him for a while.

@2bazookas

His wife found out and now she's monitoring his phone. So, no more secret phone calls while she is busy doing the school run or putting the kids to bed. Please stop embarassing him with your pesky attention seeking demands , he has the children to think of.

Lol what in the name of God are you talking about?? 😂😂 you sound delusional.

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's a horrible situation to be desperate to talk to someone and they're clearly ignoring you for whatever reason. But stop contacting him, put your phone away somewhere and leave it alone for a while and see if he contacts you. What he's doing is incredibly unfair on you, but if you keep contacting him he's going to get annoyed at you and it'll make things worse. He's going completely the wrong way about it, but give him some space and let him contact you when he's ready.

I wouldn't text or call him at all now. He's active on SM so he's fine. Don't contact him for the rest of the day and he should hopefully contact you.
If you haven't heard from him by tomorrow morning then maybe just send a text but stop calling him!
It seems like he is actively ignoring you and the worst thing you can do is to keep calling him.
Not what you want to hear but it's the best thing to do!

I must be getting old, an hour as long distance, monitoring what he watches on Prime and his Facebook comments.

You're so young, don't get tied down by this relationship and all consuming checking up. He could easily send you a message to let you know he's OK

I disagree with most people on here. I'd like to assume the best in people rather than the worst and with all the promotion of the mens' mental health crisis right now I'd expect people to be a bit more understanding. If it were me I'd drive over to check on him. If he is having a crisis you could help avert that. If he's ignoring you it will put the issue to bed and you can re-evaluate the relationship. After 7 years and being engaged you're there to support each other - not at the stage of "playing hard to get" as some here seem to be suggesting. Hope all is well OP x