Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Argument on NYE

190 replies

usersixx · 01/01/2021 11:35

So last night DH cooked a Chinese whilst I put the DC to bed. Earlier in the day I'd bought a big bag of prawn crackers from the shop to go with the meal.

Anyway I came downstairs really looking forward to the food, only to find that DH had demolished the entire packet of prawn crackers whilst cooking.

I asked him what the hell he was playing at? and told him he was greedy and thoughtless, to which he then started ranting on about how he'd only had a few, that he was hungry whilst cooking, that he hadn't realised the bag was empty etc etc - this is his usual behaviour btw, whenever he does something wrong he just denies and justifies. Never apologises.

Anyway I just came up to bed at about 9.30pm as I couldn't bare to be around him. He eventually apologised at 11.55pm and said Happy New Yr!

He has form for this type of greedy behaviour as well as never being able to own up to his fuck ups (well he does, but hours later). I'm just so fucking fed up with him today (generally)

OP posts:
FizzyDizzy121 · 01/01/2021 11:41

Wow, sounds like there must be a back story here?

Cant imagine getting this riled up about some prawn crackers unless there was more. It is greedy, and it is selfish to eat the whole bag but as he was doing all the cooking, in this house it would have led to me teasing him or him popping out to replace them not this level of upset.

Sorry your NYE didnt go to plan

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 11:53

As I said he does have form for this greedy behaviour. Like he'll demolish an entire packet of biscuits in a couple of days before anyone else has had any. He tucked into a box of chocolates that I'd been given for my birthday, there were about 3 left! He also ate through a bag of chocolates someone gave me for Xmas!

So I appreciate this latest scenario isn't the end of the world in isolation, except it's not. It's more about him being selfish and not considering anybody else!

OP posts:
GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 01/01/2021 11:55

It would be the lack of apology that would have bothered me there.

converseandjeans · 01/01/2021 11:55

I don't think I could get that upset about a bag of prawn crackers. Yes it's greedy but I can see how easy that would be if you're cooking. They're really light & moreish!

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 11:57

Yes I agree, they are! But they were supposed to go with the meal and for us both to share!

OP posts:
Palavah · 01/01/2021 11:57

Does he have an eating problem?

Shoxfordian · 01/01/2021 11:58

He sounds really selfish

kazzer2867 · 01/01/2021 12:03

Really. He ate a whole packet of prawn crackers. Is that worth spoiling your NYE. You say he's generally greedy, but in the grand scheme of things (unless there's something else going on) this is a massive massive over reaction. I would not have apologised to you.

secular89 · 01/01/2021 12:03

When I have one bite of a prawn cracker, I cannot stop. I would let this go

Plussizejumpsuit · 01/01/2021 12:06

Have you posted about this before op? If not I have read similar threads. If he can't share food in a considerate way then you need to buy seperate food or buy more food. Personally I'd have bought a few bags if he had form for this.

Binge · 01/01/2021 12:20

My EX H was like that, he was never allowed to be held accountable for his actions, no matter how big or small the act was. He was often disrespectful, and selfish, and entitled and when challenged about his behaviour it was always trivialised into,

It was an accident - but if it wasn't
It was only a small incident - but if it wasn't
It wasn't important - but if it was
It's in the past^ - and now it's you that's in the wrong and you're being mean^

It can be a slippery slope of eroding your boundaries of respect by starting off small and then building it up.

In my experience, people who are like that don't like other people who call out that behaviour or don't tolerate it either.__

madcatladyforever · 01/01/2021 12:23

Incredibly selfish and thoughtless. An awful lot of men think they are the only ones that matter in the world.
To me repeated thoughtless behaviour like this is a big red flag for a future together.
Selfish behaviour does not survive having kids or illness in the family.

Sexnotgender · 01/01/2021 12:26

The posters excusing this have clearly never lived with a greedy selfish person. It’s infuriating.
You buy yourself something nice and some greedy twat helps themselves to it.

LindaEllen · 01/01/2021 12:32

It's selfish as fuck, and I don't know why he would even have opened them while cooking if they were for with the meal.

I'm afraid I wouldn't have made it into such a huge issue though. I wouldn't have been in bed at 9.30.

There must be more to it than that, and if that's the case then you need to think about whether you truly want to be with him.

SnowDogFarts · 01/01/2021 12:35

Agreed @Sexnotgender

Selfish, entitled arse he is for eating something you bought for both of you to share.

And eating things that were bought for you by others, it's almost like you are not allowed to have something nice for yourself because he feels entitled to eat it all himself. No thought for you and whether you'd have liked to have eaten your gift yourself.

He doesn't value you as having the same worth as him.

Bluntness100 · 01/01/2021 12:37

Gosh, it never ceases to surprise me the petty shit people argue about. To the extent that there is a huge argument and you go to bed at 9.30 because you can’t bear to be around him because he ate your share of the prawn crackers,

And what’s even more surprising is some folks think this is a perfectly normal interaction.

Bluntness100 · 01/01/2021 12:37

He doesn't value you as having the same worth as him

Wow. Just wow.

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 12:39

I think those speaking in defence of him are purely focussing on prawn crackers - rather than him being a selfish twat who does this kind of thing on a regular basis!

OP posts:
GreekOddess · 01/01/2021 12:40

I will never argue with anyone about food. I agree that your husband was greedy but it's only prawn crackers at the end of the day. It's the kind of behaviour that would be laughed at in our house.

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 12:43

Replace 'my share' of prawn crackers with steak, champagne, deluxe chocolate cake etc - would that be frowned upon or is it ok?!

OP posts:
NewYearBiscuits · 01/01/2021 12:44

@Bluntness100 it's the tip of a large iceberg though. As the case in so many of these situations.

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 12:47

and for those who wouldn't be bothered at all, where do you draw the line with this kind of thing? Or is there no line and everyone just stuff their face and to hell with everyone else?!

OP posts:
NewYearBiscuits · 01/01/2021 12:47

@usersixx I get you.

How many women have spent weeks thinking about Christmas making sure it's great for everyone else. Doing all the preparation, cleaning, cooking, washing. All the THINKING. And the symbolic prawn cracker incident just pushes you over the edge.

Bluntness100 · 01/01/2021 12:50

@usersixx

Replace 'my share' of prawn crackers with steak, champagne, deluxe chocolate cake etc - would that be frowned upon or is it ok?!
Did he do this? Eaten your whole meal and drink all,your champagne?

I really don’t understand this whole moving it to an extreme situation and asking if that would be ok. Clearly not, it would not be ok for him to eat your whole meal and drink all your champagne. He ate your share of some crappy prawn crackers.

Sexnotgender · 01/01/2021 12:52

@usersixx

and for those who wouldn't be bothered at all, where do you draw the line with this kind of thing? Or is there no line and everyone just stuff their face and to hell with everyone else?!
Exactly. Is everything fair game? Not allowed anything special for yourself.

Bought yourself a lovely new jumper? Teenager decided they’d just take it, tough shit better buy yourself another one.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.