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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Argument on NYE

190 replies

usersixx · 01/01/2021 11:35

So last night DH cooked a Chinese whilst I put the DC to bed. Earlier in the day I'd bought a big bag of prawn crackers from the shop to go with the meal.

Anyway I came downstairs really looking forward to the food, only to find that DH had demolished the entire packet of prawn crackers whilst cooking.

I asked him what the hell he was playing at? and told him he was greedy and thoughtless, to which he then started ranting on about how he'd only had a few, that he was hungry whilst cooking, that he hadn't realised the bag was empty etc etc - this is his usual behaviour btw, whenever he does something wrong he just denies and justifies. Never apologises.

Anyway I just came up to bed at about 9.30pm as I couldn't bare to be around him. He eventually apologised at 11.55pm and said Happy New Yr!

He has form for this type of greedy behaviour as well as never being able to own up to his fuck ups (well he does, but hours later). I'm just so fucking fed up with him today (generally)

OP posts:
Gilda152 · 01/01/2021 22:19

sexnotgender these people are weirding me out 😬

nolongersurprised · 01/01/2021 22:20

So suppose you were going to have some olives and bread to start a meal, it would be perfectly ok for the person cooking to scoff all the olives and bread while they were cooking? Is that what half of you are saying?

I wouldn’t care, I honestly wouldn’t mind if the person cooking ate “my” snacks mindlessly. I wouldn’t have argued over prawn crackers either. It’s greedy and thoughtless but given our otherwise good relationship I wouldn’t ruin a night over it. I too, can be greedy and thoughtless sometimes. I have, during our marriage, at various times drunk all the beer, eaten the chocolate, eaten left overs meant for work, had the last biscuit. On NYE we “shared” a bottle of champagne but I had more than he did. I am not overweight; my DH also hasn’t called me names if he finds I’ve eaten something he was looking forward to. He doesn’t call me greedy or shame me about “scoffing” or “chowing down”.

Biscuits, chocolate don’t last long in our house either, it’s usually DH eating them. I couldn’t care less, he’s extremely fit and not overweight. Sometimes it’s my children, especially after Christmas when there’s more chocolate around. They’re supposed to ask but if they sneak something I’m not going to shout at them for being greedy or look for creative hiding places for food.

To me, this is one of the minor annoyances that comes with living with someone else. When the OP’s DH is asked about NYE, even if he acknowledges his heinous wrongdoing his answer would be like this, “Well, DW was angry with me for eating all the prawn crackers she bought to have with dinner. She she went to bed and I watched TV by myself. I ate her chocolates too. This might be the end of our marriage.”

Weenurse · 01/01/2021 22:31

I get it.
My DH is the same.
I buy biscuits but never get any, as he eats the whole packet at once.
I will stand at the pantry looking and asking, he tells me he has eaten the lot.
This was 3 times last week.
When I ask why he didn’t save me any, his response was I should hide them.
Not that he should reign himself in, but I should hide them.
Emphasis being on my behaviour, not his.

MuyBien · 01/01/2021 22:38

Just get him to buy a new bag. Hope you enjoyed your meal

Emmie12345 · 01/01/2021 22:40

Pick your battles

Poor guy , this is way out of proportion !!

Whistle73 · 01/01/2021 23:17

We're not saying his behaviour is right or acceptable- just that stomping off to bed and ruining New Year's Eve might have been disproportionate. A quick discussion in the morning might have been better.

BronwenFrideswide · 02/01/2021 00:04

@Gilda152

sexnotgender these people are weirding me out 😬
You and me both, what's even odder if their definition of sharing meaning one person eating the lot in my world that's selfish and rude.

Whistle did you miss the OP saying this in NOT the first time he has behaved like this and she is fed up to the back teeth of it? It is beyond a quick discussion in the morning.

SometimesIWonderWhy · 02/01/2021 00:29

I hear you op
I would be upset if someone I lived with continuously took and took the best stuff, leaving me with the crap.
My ex used to borrow my car (without asking) and leave me with his if his car was low on petrol and he couldn't be bothered to fill it up or get out of bed 5 mins earlier to fill it up before work. (I work out of the home too and we both pass petrol stations on the way to work).
Drove. Me. Fucking. Nuts.
I NEVER did anything similar to him and I refused to as I thought it would just end up as a race to the bottom.
He would think I was unreasonable and grumpy and it was my fault I was angry about 'the little stuff'.
I also gave him more oral sex than he gave me....a lot more....the red flags were there from the start!

usersixx · 02/01/2021 01:16

Poor guy?! Please don't worry about him, he's doing just fine Grin

I'm sure he'll sleep easy tonight, content in the knowledge that he's done nowt wrong

OP posts:
Lora88 · 02/01/2021 01:19

Annoying yeah but really not a big deal

Woahisme · 02/01/2021 01:44

I'm with you OP, food is fucking sacred. He should have left you some to go with your meal. I'd be well fucked off if someone ate my share, especially if I was the one who bought the damn thing.

bruffin · 02/01/2021 01:49

These posts pop up regularly. Men eating ALL the family treats, snacks and generally a lot more than their share of everything

, greedy behaviour. Women have had to resort to hiding treats FROM GROWN MEN.
Most of those posts are trolls

SmeleanorSmellstrop · 02/01/2021 05:32

Annoying but i wouldn't have spoiled NYE over it Confused

lovelemoncurd · 02/01/2021 06:03

I'm usually quite relieved when DH eats those bloody awful things from the Chinese tbh! I certainly would never start an argument about them. Chocolate too. I think well at least I'm not tempted.

Perhaps you're quite similar in that you both like your snacks and are sort of fighting over your share?

OldBean2 · 02/01/2021 06:25

I think the issue is a sense of total entitlement with no thought for the needs of anyone else, even when they are told not to do it. I have lost count of the times my landlady's son has eaten his sister's packed school lunch. He has just moved into a flat share... it's not going well in the kitchen over there.

As a child I had to ask if I might have certain foods, but this does not seem to happen now. It is basic good manners not to eat chocs belonging to someone else and it is greedy to hoover them up. I can really understand why you are upset with him.

Deathraystare · 02/01/2021 09:17

It is about more than prawn crackers (though I would have stabbed him with a fork for that! As for hogging HER Birthday and Christmas chocs given to HER by other people - feed him to the dogs! People are missing the point. It is not just about the crackers. His attitude stinks. How dare he help himself to her chocs? Does he realise what a pig he is. Send him out for his own snacks!

Snowman123 · 02/01/2021 10:28

Buy more food.

I'm always demolishing stuff. If my partner pulled me up on it I'd be annoyed, I'm not a child.

Notrightbutok · 02/01/2021 12:37

It's clear the prawn crackers were an accompaniment for the Chinese meal so OP's husband was too thoughtless/greedy to leave them alone.

It might only be a bag of prawn crackers, what if it was Christmas lunch and he had gobbled all the stuffing balls or Pigs in blsnkers?

I have a DC that raids cupboards, they ate a whole bag of chestnuts, they might only have cost £1.50 but they knew I had bought them in for Christmas Day.

Bluntness100 · 02/01/2021 12:44

It might only be a bag of prawn crackers, what if it was Christmas lunch and he had gobbled all the stuffing balls or Pigs in blsnkers

I never really understand these posts. What if he ate the whole meal too. What if he stabbed the next door neighbour, what if he called you a bitch whilst eating them, what if he stripped naked and salsad down the street. What if. Who cares, he didn’t do that. He ate the prawn crackers. That’s it,

2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020 · 02/01/2021 12:51

If he has form. Then to avoid arguments I would just buy four bags of prawn crackers. Two for you, two for him. Hide one so you have it spare for another time he can't control his eating habits.

Sexnotgender · 02/01/2021 13:00

@2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020

If he has form. Then to avoid arguments I would just buy four bags of prawn crackers. Two for you, two for him. Hide one so you have it spare for another time he can't control his eating habits.
What if you can’t afford to just buy more and more food because your partner is a greedy dickhead?

Again it moves the onus onto the OP to fix this.

BronwenFrideswide · 02/01/2021 13:09

@Snowman123

Buy more food.

I'm always demolishing stuff. If my partner pulled me up on it I'd be annoyed, I'm not a child.

Stop acting like a child then.
Gncq · 02/01/2021 13:12

OP Did your DH also eat an entire tub of Quality Street? Or was that another poster?

Babypug · 02/01/2021 13:14

You felt the need to share this? I think that says it all

BaseDrops · 02/01/2021 14:02

You can’t “just buy more food” when the amount you need to buy is n+1. Because people like that will always eat whatever is there with no thought for knock on impact.
Kids pack lunch stuff eaten, finding out when making lunches in the morning is a treat.
Gifts eaten, find out when deciding to enjoy your delicious gift - seething.
Things to be used for specific meals eaten, total joy when you find out in the middle of cooking.
Using up the milk late at night so none left for breakfast, brilliant start to the day.

Individually an occurrence looks trivial and getting wound up about it looks petty. Cumulatively it’s not trivial and it’s not petty.

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