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Original poster

Argument on NYE

190 replies

usersixx · 01/01/2021 11:35

So last night DH cooked a Chinese whilst I put the DC to bed. Earlier in the day I'd bought a big bag of prawn crackers from the shop to go with the meal.

Anyway I came downstairs really looking forward to the food, only to find that DH had demolished the entire packet of prawn crackers whilst cooking.

I asked him what the hell he was playing at? and told him he was greedy and thoughtless, to which he then started ranting on about how he'd only had a few, that he was hungry whilst cooking, that he hadn't realised the bag was empty etc etc - this is his usual behaviour btw, whenever he does something wrong he just denies and justifies. Never apologises.

Anyway I just came up to bed at about 9.30pm as I couldn't bare to be around him. He eventually apologised at 11.55pm and said Happy New Yr!

He has form for this type of greedy behaviour as well as never being able to own up to his fuck ups (well he does, but hours later). I'm just so fucking fed up with him today (generally)

OP posts:
BronwenFrideswide · 01/01/2021 15:13

MixMatch two people is hardly multiple people, it's not feeding the 5,000. Sharing one bag of prawn crackers between two people with the meal is hardly being restrictive or stingy.

The best common joy in life is to be considerate and to think of others rather than just yourself, something you and the OP's husband seem to lack.

Gilda152 · 01/01/2021 15:19

Expecting people to share does not equate to being stingy 😂 how on earth were you raised if you think that?!

Yes you like a bountiful table we get it who doesn't, doesn't mean one person gets to be a hog, it's like, basic manners 🤔

tinkertop · 01/01/2021 15:21

If I ate a whole bag of something and my DH went off on me telling me I was greedy and selfish, demanding an apology then went to bed in a huff at 9.30 on NYE then I'd be telling him where to go...and if I posted about it on MN everyone would be telling me to LTB and that he's emotionally abusive. Honestly op it's a bag of prawn crackers, get over it. If he has form for it then buy 2 bags in future and save yourself the unnecessary rage. Eating an entire packet of biscuits over a few days isn't a massive deal either. The birthday choc scenario is annoying but again not really worth the rage.

Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 15:27

I am certainly not stingy! It was a massive bag as I've already pointed out!

One each would have been completely unnecessary. In fact, he would be the first to admit that! As I said, he's a pretty fit guy and he even mentioned the other day how he wanted to rein his eating in a bit after over indulging at Xmas - yet there he was, stuffing his face!

OP posts:
Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 15:29

Also if it had been anything else, a box of chocolates or whatever, I wouldn't have been on his back. I'm not that militant about other people's consumption!

But this was an accompaniment to the meal - so yeah, it was rude....and greedy......and thoughtless

OP posts:
leafygarden42 · 01/01/2021 15:34

What did he cook you?

Raindancer411 · 01/01/2021 15:37

I agree it was thoughtless and he would have known the bag was getting empty. When it's the last few you generally have to fish around to get the remaining few in a bag.

As for helping himself to your presents, that's rude. I would've buying a lockable box in future!! What about the kids snacks? Does he touch those?

KatherineJaneway · 01/01/2021 16:01

People who sre stingy with food are often stingy with other things too, and by nature I'm just not a stingy person.

OP wasn't stingy, she bought a large bag. He was being a greedy guts by eating them all without leaving her some.

unmarkedbythat · 01/01/2021 16:05

So many greedy husbands on MN.

lemonsquashie · 01/01/2021 16:15

Definitely leave him! What a bastard. You deserve better OP

Sexnotgender · 01/01/2021 16:16

@KatherineJaneway

People who sre stingy with food are often stingy with other things too, and by nature I'm just not a stingy person.

OP wasn't stingy, she bought a large bag. He was being a greedy guts by eating them all without leaving her some.

Exactly. It’s hilarious the excuses people are rolling out here. A sharing bag should be perfectly ample for 2 as an accompaniment to a meal.

Yes I’m sure we’ve all eaten a sharing bag to ourselves from time to time but if you know they are for a meal to share then any normal person doesn’t scoff the lot and leave their partner without. That’s just dickish greedy behaviour.

MiddlesexGirl · 01/01/2021 16:22

He ate your share of some crappy prawn crackers.

This I think is why people don't have sympathy .... because they don't view prawn crackers as worth getting annoyed about.

I do though. I'd be keeping everything hidden away from now on and never sharing.
YANBU.

Gilda152 · 01/01/2021 16:27

Some people are ok with their other halves having no manners 🤷

Greediness is such an unattractive trait, I totally get it !!

WitchDancer · 01/01/2021 16:30

It's not about the prawn crackers, it's about the total disregard of anyone else, particularly when eating your gifts.

When I first got together with DH he did this with some sweets I had bought, when he ate the lot. His excuse was that he didn't think I wanted them because I hadn't eaten them straight away. He didn't understand that people do save things for later - I think it was the way he was brought up as he inhales his food too.

Sitting down and talking about this gave him understanding and he's only relapsed once when the kids were young and he ate the remainder of their sweets. I just got sweet tins then so he knew what was fair game (anything not in a tin).

Gifts are a total no no, unless of course you offer the box of chocolates out and then he should only take what is offered. Eating those would result in him replacing them regardless of the time of day or night.

I suggest you sit down with him, and point out that it is gluttony but in a kind way. If he continues after this I would seriously rethink my relationship with him.

MiddlesexGirl · 01/01/2021 16:33

@leafygarden42

What did he cook you?
Don't you mean, "what did he cook"?
Original poster
usersixx · 01/01/2021 16:40

He cooked us both a Chinese whilst I put our children to bed. Apparently I should be falling over myself with gratitude for that too Grin

OP posts:
MixMatch · 01/01/2021 16:47

@MrsGlitterSparklesHun

I ate a full tube of pringles to myself the other day. Looks like I'm going to hell. Or my dp will be rationing my pringle consumption from now on. Maybe he will slip me one or two if I'm a good girl.

Yeah he might have been a tad greedy and yeah it's annoying especially if you were looking forward to prawn crackers as part of your meal but come oooonnnnnnn cut him some slack. If you had written you were cooking yourself and your dh a meal and had eaten the prawn crackers it would be all 'lols' and 'whoopsies'. He likes snacking. If it annoys you to the point you have to distance yourself for hours from him then i agree with pp and there are deeper issues and its not worth being with someone who gets you that riled up.

Also, if my dp pretty much ignored me for most of nye after I had made food for us both because I had had a few too many snacks whilst enjoying myself cooking, I would categorically not be apologising to him so the fact he even came to apologise says a lot.

Exactly! I find some of the replies on here hilarious Grin I guess we're just too easy-going to get that worked up over a silly snack. That sort of anger can't be doing her blood pressure any good. When I was first starting to read to the OP I thought she was going to say they ordered takeaway and the DH started tucking into everyone else's main meals! I was going to share her anger before it actually turned out to a bag of prawn crackers!! The funny thing is that it was actually her DH cooking the proper main meal to share with her (before the OP went off in a huff). Smile
Henio · 01/01/2021 16:48

If i was looking forward to something and someone ate them all without asking that would piss me off so I understand @usersixx

Heartofgoldmumof2 · 01/01/2021 16:55

At least he was cooking dinner!

Sexnotgender · 01/01/2021 16:59

@Heartofgoldmumof2

At least he was cooking dinner!
Gosh you’re right! OP should be so grateful that he deigned to cook for BOTH OF THEM whilst she put the kids to bed. What an absolute gent he is.

The ‘50s called, you appear to have got lost on the way there.

dumpling23 · 01/01/2021 17:12

He ate your crackers - and yes he should have been more thoughtful. But you sound utterly contemptuous of him and made such a ridiculous fuss that you ruined your evening. That's no way to live.

Either find a solution (hide treats or buy double in anticipation) OR learn to shrug off his failings with better grace. You don't seem to realise that your response was an over reaction and that there are more sensible ways of dealing with the inevitable conflicts that come with intimacy.

Ianar · 01/01/2021 17:20

I do not believe he didn't realise how many he'd eaten- you are aware! I'm a man and remember giving that excuse to my mum as a kid when just wanting to binge something! That would irk me more than the act.

BronwenFrideswide · 01/01/2021 17:38

Either find a solution (hide treats or buy double in anticipation) OR learn to shrug off his failings with better grace. You don't seem to realise that your response was an over reaction and that there are more sensible ways of dealing with the inevitable conflicts that come with intimacy.

JFC where to start with this???? Shrug off his failings with better grace??

There you go, OP, solution to all your problems - you smile indulgently, make allowances, hide things, buy more to ensure you get something but just don't expect your husband to change his behaviour or act like a reasonable, respectful human being. What century are we in again????

I cannot imagine the mindset of someone who would eat every last one of something with no thought that the other person in the relationship might actually like some as well, nor the person who sees their other half has a gift of chocolates and thinks "oh, I'll just eat these and leave a measly three for the person who was given them".

Unbelievable entitlement and selfishness.

soopedup · 01/01/2021 17:43

He’s greedy and selfish but you know that. Helping himself to all of your birthday chocolates is plain shitty behaviour. He is overstepping boundaries. Nothing wrong with eating chocolate that he’s bought himself. He didn’t buy them though. He’s entitled and a prick. At least he could apologise when pulled up. Do you really want to live with this for the next 40/50 years? I couldn’t. Selfish

Biancadelrioisback · 01/01/2021 17:53

OP my DH is the same.
I have to specifically tell him what not to eat. In our house anything is game unless I specifically say "this is for X", "this is mine" or "this is DSs".
He's always been this way so I'm never surprised if he does eat his way through something. As far as he is concerned, it it's there, it's to eat (except as I've said, if I tell him specifically).
I certainly don't hide anything from him, and if he did what your DH did, id send him back to the shop for a replacement.

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