No Contact Support thread - anyone interested?

[52andblue]

Anyone want to join me?
(I'm currently on Day 6)

I won't go into huge details but I am trying to maintain NC with a narcissist (diagnosed, amongst other dx...) who has been in my life on and off for 30 years and mirrors a Narc relationship with my Mother. I've all the 'intellectual understanding' of it, but find NC hard.

I’ll join you if that’s ok?
I’m trying to go nc with two people, both guys. I don’t even know how I get myself into these situations (neither were boyfriends)

I’ll call this day one for me

Hi @BlueSkyAhead
sorry you've got 2 (I have 2 as well, but 1 is much harder than t'other)
still, there is TWO of us now, so we have company :)
doesn't matter how we got there, we need to stay away
(to give head space to work out how we got there. ;)
Day 1 sounds Good to me

I'm in...
Short term boyfriend who dumped me by text Christmas day, called one of my children some horrible things.

Want to give him a piece of my mind but know its better for me to just walk away.

Thank you @52andblue

Looks like we are now 3. Welcome @pinkpixie83

Waves to @pinkpixie83
Thanks, @BlueSkyAhead for sharing welcoming duties :)

We could think of it as a Cafe / place to vent / support each other?

Puts kettle on... takes a batch of scones out of the oven

@pinkpixie83
dumping by text on Xmas day is a classic, huh? so sorry he behaved like that to one of your children too. I agree, walk away right now and NC x

@52andblue
It was on its way to ending anyway, I'm not too bothered about that. I'm incredibly hurt by what he said about my child tho... it's been a tricky year here and I thought he understood. Whats bothering me more is no explanation for it all.

All of us... onwards and upwards, none of us need people like that in our life

Day 7

I will join! I’m on day 28 and it is getting easier. I love the idea of a cafe where we drop in.

HI @roseblossom2020

Welcome! Day 28 sounds impressive - well done!!
Good to hear it gets easier too :)

Coffee? Tea?? Cake?? :)

Day 2

The people I’m going nc with are at my work and I’ll have to be pleasant to them when I see them. Not looking forward to that. Currently furloughed so I guess I don’t have to worry too much right now.

Would like to join also.
I always get talked round. I love him. He's a manipulative liar I know this yet I struggle. Usually I would be itching to message him and keep checking to see it he's messaged me but this time I don't have that missing feeling. Hopeful this will be it for me

Does anyone else whilst doing no contact still feel annoyed when they don't contact you? I know the whole reason of doing it is to heal etc etc but I'm also feeling annoyed he cares so little he hasn't made contact

Yes - I'm on day 6 with someone and it's ripping my guts out.

Hi @BlueSkyAhead
Hi @wetasstenalady (YES!)
Hi @MarylinMonrue

and Welcome!
Coffee, Fizz, G&T, apple juice - choose your poison x

Might not check in again tonight as busy with kids but

HAPPY NEW YEAR and Remember

NO CONTACT - it's a dangerous night of the year / day tomorrow

We CAN do this !!! xxx

Yes we need to go into 2021 free from these douches
It's the best gift we can give ourselves
Anyone doing anything nice tonight?

Happy New Year to you all and stay strong tonight! It’s a tough one. I just wanted to say I found such strength from a thread like this when I was hideously treated by a man about 3 years ago. It absolutely really does work. I’m on day about 1000 no contact now . I didn’t even feel the need to contact him several months later when I found out about the OW he’d met before we split up. I gave no shits by then.
Good luck to you all! Support each other and you’ve got this 💪🏻

Please may I join? I’m NC week 15 after I moved out. I ended a 3 year emotionally abusive relationship with a Narc. I tried to leave many times before but got talked out of it. I have blocked him in every way I can. He did send birthday presents in the post for my 2 dc (not his) though. They’ve been hidden out of sight, I didn’t want to upset them again & remind them. One loved him, the other hated him. His smear campaign was shocking & my family ended up blocking him too. I do still miss him but that’s the trauma bond & I know that. It doesn’t make it easier, I miss the man I fell in love with & who I thought he was - not the actual man he is. He was so cruel, he enjoyed seeing me suffer. He had zero empathy & life revolved him & what he wanted. He’s made no attempt to contact me via post so I know that now that he’s gone for good. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him or see him again - I felt that he actually despised me in the relationship & that’s probably doubled by now. His ability to hold grudges was phenomenal - so as I was the one that left, he’ll truly hate and despise me more than ever & would in no way try to come back, he would see it as a weakness & giving in to me 😂 In actual fact, he’s doing me a massive favour as I’d definitely struggle more with healing if he was in touch.

I guess I’m saying, to help recover then you have to block everywhere & don’t be tempted to look at anything at all that is related to them. It’s so hard, I understand, but NC will definitely speed up the healing process.
Happy New Year! Stay strong with the NC, you’ve got this! 💪🏻

Resisted the urge to do happy new year message.

Grrrr I caved
I was expecting at least a happy New Years message as he prides himself on being such a polite man who observes conventions. But nothing. So I sent 'not even a happy new year. Speaks volumes'
He replied 'HNY- 2020 is done- like us '
So I told him all about himself and blocked him. I'm so annoyed with myself for doing this and allowing him to make me feel worthless again.
Still 2021 out with the crap

@Gizmo2020

Welcome to the No Contact Cafe!
I agree that men like that will sulk and take umbrage when you act positively for yourself - a smear campaign sounds shocking though. It is his loss! Well done on maintaining NC - thank you for sharing it to help us with our resolutions. xxx

@wetasstenalady
Ach - sorry re your message. Yes I know what you mean about 'prides himself on being such a polite man'. MY NC chap is expublic School and super super polite in public - just a cold selfish git in private.
Telling it like it is then blocking him is NOT the end of the world.

I agree, 2021 - take the trash (feelings) out xxx

I am currently gritting my teeth being with exH for the day (at kids request). I'd LOVE to go NC with him but i have to be civil for a few years yet, sigh.

Puts kettle on, opens mince pies / makes fruit platter and smoothies (depending how healthy you wish to be today? I'm still on the pies :)

Speaking of pies... I was looking at a thread about overeating and thinking it is similar in a way. How to break a bad habit (contact with a person who isn't nourishing to us) is like eating food that is not nourishing. If you 'crack' and make contact - Don't feel bad about yourself. Changing habits take weeks, not hours. Baby steps.
Be kind to yourself. Resolve not to 'slip' again. I'm on day 8 today.
Christmas Day was very hard. today is very hard. My birthday (early Jan) will be very hard. If i slip up I will try again so I only have one slip not many. We've go this - NC it is.

Can I join please?

Today will be day 1, I had a massive wake up call yesterday and need to go NC for my own sanity.

I've tried before and failed, but have to do it this time.

It will be difficult as we work at the same place, but if I can keep it work only that will be fine.