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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It's all gone to s**t

183 replies

summer25 · 05/12/2020 13:54

Another day ruined. So, we came back from a lovely morning having picked up the tree and had breakfast together and next door neighbour handed us a package addressed to my DS with puppies on it. My OH had, for Christmas, sponsored guide dogs for the hard of hearing for both kids. My OH handed the package to my son because it had his name on it. Then all hell breaks loose, my DS shouldn't have had this till Christmas day, apparently it's all my fault because I didn't say anything. Queue my OU storming upstairs and crying, my DS is in tears, my DD is screaming at me calling me all the names under the sun and I just want to get out but can't because my DD is blocking the door. It ends up with her shoving me around and my husband shoving me onto the sofa. The day has been absolutely ruined, it was meant to be so lovely. Every year, the day we get the tree is ruined by arguments and I'd promised my DS this morning that it would be different this year. I can't believe this has happened again. The whole family is just so upset.

OP posts:
Kiki275 · 05/12/2020 13:57

OP, this sounds awful. Why are your family shoving you around? Especially your OH!?x

Chattycatty · 05/12/2020 13:57

Your OH is a knob, your DD sounds like a brat and you deserve better

VimFuego101 · 05/12/2020 13:58

How old are your children?

TheQueef · 05/12/2020 13:58

Are they being physical with you now?

Lillygolightly · 05/12/2020 13:59

Your OH stormed upstairs crying over an innocent mistake, and you got shoved by both your DD and you partner?

How old is your DD? How old is your DS?

summer25 · 05/12/2020 13:59

Kids are teenagers and both taller than me now. I get that my OH was upset but how do I become the scapegoat.

OP posts:
SanFranciscoCocksucker · 05/12/2020 14:00

How was this your fault?

HollowTalk · 05/12/2020 14:00

What the hell is going on in your house? Why all the screaming? Why is your husband sponsoring dogs for your children's Christmas present? Why are you being pushed over?

summer25 · 05/12/2020 14:00

OH was upset because he thought I could intervened before he gave the gift. It's the only thing he has bought them this year and he wanted it to be special. He totally overreacted though.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 05/12/2020 14:01

But your husband was the one who gave the package to your son - how did he turn that around into your fault?

MiniTheMinx · 05/12/2020 14:01

So both your DC and your OH are abusive towards you?

Is OH their father? Has your daughter been like this before?

summer25 · 05/12/2020 14:02

It's all calm again now but it was a total overreaction. Not the first time something like this has happened to be fair. I just am so upset that the day has been ruined.

OP posts:
QueenOfPain · 05/12/2020 14:02

Not a single part of what happens justifies the way they’ve all gone off or how you’ve been treated. Not a single thing. It could have all just been laughed off and chalked up to experience.

God knows how your DD has managed to involved herself in the hurt feelings?!

But most of all, your OH caused this by being a massive fucking drama queen and crying over someone getting an Xmas present a few weeks early by accident. He handed him the gift, why was it your responsibility to be the eyeballs? Presumably you silently have him the parcel for a reason, so that the kids didn’t realise what it was?!

MajorMujer · 05/12/2020 14:02

They are abusing you.

mcmooberry · 05/12/2020 14:03

Awful. How is it in any way your fault??? Also, I hope that wasn't their main present, noble but maybe not much fun for your DS and DD for Christmas. I would take yourself out of the house for the rest of the day and leave them to it. Is your OH the father of the children?

TheLadyOfShallnott · 05/12/2020 14:03

I’m sorry you have had such an awful day OP.

Their reaction to a mistake is a worry.

Can you grab your son and go out for the day?

I wouldn’t be considering Christmas in any way shape or form till I received a genuine apology. Sad

Maze76 · 05/12/2020 14:04

Why are you allowing this ?? !!

MiniTheMinx · 05/12/2020 14:04

Why are you worried more about the day being ruined than about your own welfare?

NerrSnerr · 05/12/2020 14:04

It's your husband's fault he gave it to your son. How old are your children? Does your husband shove you around a lot?

KittenCalledBob · 05/12/2020 14:05

This was in no way your fault. Your DH was completely in the wrong and needs to apologise to you. I'm so angry on your behalf! Angry

RogueV · 05/12/2020 14:05

WTF? It was your OH fault not yours? Are the kids his? You need to tell them how you’re feeling and that if they behave like that again then you’re out of there. I would not be putting up with that shit

Dery · 05/12/2020 14:06

“What the hell is going on in your house? Why all the screaming? Why is your husband sponsoring dogs for your children's Christmas present? Why are you being pushed over?”

This with bells on. Everything about what you have described is wrong.

How can we help you get to a better place, OP?

Bananalanacake · 05/12/2020 14:06

Your DH handed it to your ds as it had his name on it, then realised it's a gift for later? I don't get why that's your fault.

Spied · 05/12/2020 14:06

Your OH sponsored guide dogs?
Very charitable.
How about you suggest he starts thinking about supporting victims of domestic abuse?
What a loser.

QueenOfPain · 05/12/2020 14:06

Why are you worried more about the day being ruined than about your own welfare?

I suspect OP has been the scapegoat for so long that she’s mentally martyred herself for the good of the family.

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