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Relationships

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I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:
coronaway · 07/12/2020 20:19

I think for both your sakes you should split up.

thecognoscenti · 07/12/2020 20:21

@coronaway

I think for both your sakes you should split up.
This. You don't make each other happy, he doesn't give you the answers you want to hear. You have expectations that he doesn't meet. Just cut your losses.
Bourbonbiccy · 07/12/2020 20:29

8 weeks in and you are not happy with the way he shows his emotions or feelings - leave. You are just not compatible no one is wrong, just different.

Some people just aren't great with that kind of complimentary stuff and it works fine with their partners

Other people need to be told they have amazing bodies to feel desired and it that doesn't work for them.

I prefer my husband to be honest, I don't normally, but if I asked him what I looked like in a dress, if he didn't like it or thought it unflattering, I would expect him to tell me.

maudspellbody · 07/12/2020 20:56

There is a massive difference between asking for an opinion on an outfit or asking someone totally out of context to rate your body and what has happened here.

He had JUST had sex with her.

In the first 8 weeks, he should find her sexy. Sexy is not that same as pretty or beautiful or unusually attractive. It is a subjective thing.
If he can't summon up the words to tell someone he has JUST had sex with she turns him on then he's an idiot.

I remember an ex of mine once telling me he found the shape of my shoulders really sexy. It was one of my favourite compliments ever (and stuck with me) - because it was so random that I figured it must be true. I'm no supermodel, so compliments about other parts were unlikely to have been easily believed by me, but that one felt genuine.

I was also told by another (when I was unhappily overweight) that they loved one particular curve on me - and ran his hand over it to illustrate. He said it was the same curve regardless of my size.

It's not difficult to tell someone you are in a new relationship with that you fancy them - and it's not an interrogation.

No lies are required. 'What do you think of my body?' can have a million and one true, complimentary replies no matter what the body is like.

'Er...fine' isn't one of them!

It would be different if he made you feel like you didn't need compliments because he treated and behaved in a way that meant you didn't feel the need for them, but that clearly isn't the case here.

This one's not for you, OP. Back in the sea for him. There is a better fish out there.

LolaSmiles · 07/12/2020 21:06

maudspellbody
All those examples show is that you had partners who spoke your love language.

It's not difficult to show someone you fancy them, but if I'd just had sex and a man was asking what I thought of his body or a body part, he'd probably get a 'umm.. yeah nice' response from me because it would catch me off guard for a guy to fishing for compliments (which this was). I'd probably not he compatible with a man who needed to be regularly told how hot he is and how sexy I found him. If that's what he wanted in a woman and he challenged me for not being verbally adoring enough then from my perspective the relationship would be over as I'd find that quite needy. I'd be forever feeling like I was about to ambushed by a 'tell my how sexy you think I am' curveball.
There are other women out there who would speak his love language and they'd be very compatible, but I wouldn't be the right woman for him

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