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Original poster

I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:03

I don’t understand why I can’t ask what he thinks of my body when it’s sexy talk and I’m sat on him. Aren’t they supposed to tell you it’s good. Why does he want to have sex with me if he isn’t turned on by it.

OP posts:
Simplyunacceptable · 02/12/2020 12:04

I’m not sure what you were hoping for in asking really, it’s a bit of an odd question to ask and I think he was put on the spot. It sounds like a rather panicked response.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:10

I’ve put on sexy underwear before and not got much more then a yeah that’s alright. Maybe I’m asking the wrong man.

OP posts:
Miffyliffy · 02/12/2020 12:11

You don't need to be a 10/10 generally for someone to want to jump into bed with you.

I can't think of anything worse than bringing up expartners naked in bed right after sex 😩 comparing bodies etc .

He could find it really fucking odd that you're talking about that in that moment.

Sounds like you were seeking reassure and wanting him to tell you how much he wants you.

For one reason or another It didn't go the way you wanted and sounds like it stung a bit.

SirMoanalot · 02/12/2020 12:12

Dumb question, weird question even. Stupid answer. You are 8 weeks in and you had to ask to finish. Just end it it sounds so shitty and lack lustre.
Best confidence boosting comments are ones given voluntarily and unsolicitedly. You go digging for stupid shit at stupid timing when you are vulnerable is very idiotic.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:13

@Miffyliffy he brought up his ex not me. He went through all the body types of his ex partners and I simply said how is mine. I don’t think my body is all that but would have been nice for him to say something nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:14

Yeah I’m thinking why I asked and it’s because he doesn’t say anything voluntarily which would be nice now and again.

OP posts:
Happyhusband · 02/12/2020 12:16

An ex gf once asked me what spice girl I thought she would be. "Old Spice " was apparently not the reply she was looking for. I can't stand the Spice Girls anyhow. Then we had a phase of Shania Twain dress alike. Calling it the "Shane Twat" style was not a good thing it seems.

Thinkingg · 02/12/2020 12:21

"Dunno, it's alright," is one thing when he's halfway through cooking tea and you've caught him by surprise. But during sex? I wouldn't be happy with that.

CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 12:23

@coronaway presumably they are partners and they have sex and love eaChother so one would assume that he found her attractive.

If he doesn't think she's gorgeous then that's a problem that should be raised at another time. Not post-sex and perhaps they shouldn't be having sex.

CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 12:24

Just seen you're 8 weeks in. If he doesn't think she's gorgeous two months in then he's an arsehole.

CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 12:25

Tbh OP he sounds a bit thick, uncomplimentary, inexpressive and boring. I'd Chuck such a half arsed bloke.

Karatema · 02/12/2020 12:27

I had a bf, a very long time ago, who told me "I don't go out with dogs!". I can't remember how this came up but he was an ex soon after! That sort of back/handed compliment I could do without Confused

coronaway · 02/12/2020 12:35

Yes but maybe he actually likes you? You know, enjoys your company, wants to be close to you, intimate etc. Surely you've had it when you have fancied someone a lot more once getting to know them than you did straight off the bat. I don't see how this is much different.

The main thing is do you like your body? Your body isn't there to please him. Also are you happy with how everything else is going with this guy?

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:38

Yes so bypassing the fact I asked a stupid question 8 weeks in he should like my body shouldn’t he and be able to say something about it that’s positive. I know I shouldn’t need to hear it and it’s stupid but that’s the answer I’m dealing with.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:39

I haven’t asked him that stupid question yet whether he likes me and my brain, I won’t be asking that by the way. We were having sexy time Hmm so I wanted a sexy answer!

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 02/12/2020 12:49

Ok, I'm faintly depressed even thinking about this 8-week old relationship Grin

I'd agree that he doesn't exactly sound the sharpest tool in the box. A comment like that (in the context) would definitely have me binning him. NOT because he should obviously be worshipping your bod etc etc sexiest woman ever blah blah.

But because it's so tone deaf and moronic. You shouldn't have asked, ok... BUT how hard is it to respond even vaguely appropriately to that sort of question?

It's the sex chat equivalent of you both going to a bar, and him going to get himself a pint, sitting back down and going 'What?' when you stare at him for his boorishness at not even offering/asking whether you want to do rounds/ whatever.

He sounds like he will very soon turn out to be a bit of a dick. The slightly mindless way he spoke about exes too would put me off.

Find someone with better social skills and more VIM and VIGOUR.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:56

Yes he had said his ex girlfriend was a bit of a fruit cake so I said why did you continue having sex with her then to which he relied dunno she liked cars. I’m feeling like he is having sex without realising there is another person who have physical and emotional needs. I am a person so would be nice for him to find me attractive not just someone who services his needs..oh I don’t know!

OP posts:
PamDemic · 02/12/2020 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 02/12/2020 13:12

@CorianderQueen

Tbh OP he sounds a bit thick, uncomplimentary, inexpressive and boring. I'd Chuck such a half arsed bloke.
Yes this. If he can't make an effort now it's not going to get any better.
CookieClub · 02/12/2020 13:14

Okay....well the fact you've had to ask him to finish you off afterwards, is maybe a self-esteem blow to him too..so maybe you haven't made him feel great and amazing about himself either?
Not suggesting he's done it deliberately. In the nicest way, he sounds a bit...ermm..not very intellectual...

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 13:18

Well he finishes way too quickly so I can’t. He then starts messing with me and pretending to be asleep.

OP posts:
Regularsizedrudy · 02/12/2020 13:18

With your updates, He sounds really dim to be honest

Regularsizedrudy · 02/12/2020 13:19

Why are you settling for crap sex and crap compliments?

NoSquirrels · 02/12/2020 13:24

Crap sex, disinterested in you as a person, can't give a compliment and it's only been 8 weeks.

You know what to do.

I bet you have a magnificent body and a sexy arse, and you can easily find someone else to tell you so.