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Relationships

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Original poster

I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:

MiniTheMinx · 02/12/2020 08:37

@Ohalrightthen

In the context that you describe I'd have assumed he was trying to be funny!

My first thought too, was he just trying to be witty.

I asked my husband "do you think I've put on any weight" His answer "no, you are like a twig with two bumps on the front" I'm not offended. He once said "you have a very good body for someone your age" he thought this was a compliment, I didn't. He acknowledged this unsolicited comment was him thinking aloud and perhaps he should keep it to himself.

The first comment 'a stick with two bumps' made me smile. Perhaps that is how I prefer to see myself. The second comment on the face of it seems more complimentary, but to me it wasn't because it makes comparison with other bodies.

And that is the problem here. Its the context. You want to be compared to the others. That's why you asked. From an entirely objective vantage point it may be that you have an entirely 'alright body' but you are unhappy because you wanted to know your entirely alright body was better than others.

Compliments shouldn't depend on comparison. Its OK to find both plump and thin beautiful. Liking one doesn't preclude liking the other.

Cheeeeislifenow · 02/12/2020 08:40

He is pretty dim to not say something nice though, especially Post sex. Casually mention his average penis post sex the next time (jokes)

WinterWhore · 02/12/2020 08:48

An ex told me he wished he could put my face on this other girls body. She was slim, tanned, curves in the right places. I was a size 10 at the time. Men are arseholes I agree he should of said something a little bit kinder!

Veronika13 · 02/12/2020 08:49

My DP’s ex has an amazing body and I do wonder sometimes whether (even though he loves me), he loved her petite and incredibly toned body.
I would never ask him about it though. What’s the point? I don’t ask questions where I don’t know if I’ll be pleased with the answer.
I also think if my partner was asking what I think of his body, I’d think he was a bit insecure

UsernameChat · 02/12/2020 09:05

Oh dear. Don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

riotlady · 02/12/2020 09:22

What’s wrong with looking insecure in front of a partner? Surely if there’s anywhere you can open up about your feelings it should be there!

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 09:24

I’ll put it into context. We’d had sex, I was sat in him and he had my ass in his hands. I said oh thats the first you’ve paid attention to my ass you not an ass man then to which he said don’t think so. Then he said something about his ex partners being all different sizes and that he he didn’t have a type but never been interested in size of ass. So I gave a little wiggle and said so what you thinking about my body to which he said dunno it’s alright. He wasn’t being witty or making a joke. I wasn’t fishing but he could have said something nice. If he asked me I would have said he has a nice sexy hairy body with nice arms and nice eyes. It’s a new relationship surely he is attracted to my body, I am his. I don’t think in new relationship you at the stage to be witty! He should want it shouldn’t he?

OP posts:

Badwill · 02/12/2020 09:34

Would it be fair to say he doesn't sound the brightest? I mean how hard is it to say something nice to the woman your sleeping with?! I'd expect a better answer too - but I wouldn't have asked the question

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 09:37

The last few times I’ve had to ask him to finish me off and I feel a little invisible like he not in it for me.

OP posts:

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 10:02

. I don’t think in new relationship you at the stage to be witty! He should want it shouldn’t he?

Well you're at the stage where you can have a chat with his penis inside you so I assume you'd be at the stage for Wit 😆. However with that update you did start the convo with the whole ass thing and he sounded uncomfortable eight he kind of questioning. Probably wasn't the best answer but he didn't know what to say.

Regularsizedrudy · 02/12/2020 10:05

It’s quite a horny conversation for AFTER sex, sorry if this is TMI but does the sex actually satisfy you (you don’t have to say just something to think about!). If it’s a new relationship I would think he sound be making more effort to make you feel sexy and desirable.

Sakurami · 02/12/2020 10:11

I don't like it when people ask me for a compliment, I'd rather it was freely given. But yes, it's weird that he can't have found something nice to say.

HopeAndDriftWood · 02/12/2020 10:29

The whole thing seems odd. You were pushing him for comments on bodies, yours and other peoples, and he seems pretty blasé about everything.

I was going to suggest that perhaps he’s just not that type of person, and he doesn’t really do compliments and romantic gestures... some people are like that.

But The last few times I’ve had to ask him to finish me off and I feel a little invisible like he not in it for me. makes me wonder if he’s considering this as a relationship and not a sex buddy thing. If he definitely is, then he sounds pretty self centered overall.

But the advice not to fish for compliments is stellar. It never works out. You either stop believing what he says, or get annoyed that they won’t say it. No winners there.

coronaway · 02/12/2020 10:35

To be fair all my exes bodies were ok/average/ordinary but I was in love with them as a person, not their body which is surely what you want? The vast majority of people are average so it would be silly to sugarcoat it (just in my opinion).

CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 11:04

He sounds a bit... inexpressive.it's a shit question but also a shit answer.

It's not hard to understand.

'Do you like me body?'

'Of course, you're gorgeous.'

CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 11:11

I think it's quite a normal conversation for flirty sex talk (especially if OP hadn't finished and is still turned on).

She wanted to be told she's sexy and desirable and have him kiss her.

Normal.

coronaway · 02/12/2020 11:23

@CorianderQueen even if it's not gorgeous?

coronaway · 02/12/2020 11:23

OP not saying your body isn't gorgeous! (But mine isn't...)

Cheeeeislifenow · 02/12/2020 11:35

@coronaway

Then you find something else to compliment instead.

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 11:55

Yes @CorianderQueen I agree it was a shit question but was just said in a way that I wanted him to just say yeah you sexy whatever anything but dunno it’s alright didn’t really cut it for me. I wasn’t asking him how I am compared to his other partners or interrogating him at all.

OP posts:

coronaway · 02/12/2020 11:56

Yes but it perhaps sounds a little disingenuous to compliment something other than what the person asked you to comment on.

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 11:56

Why does he want to have sex with my body if he thinks it’s alright, surely he must like it no? Of maybe this isn’t a relationship and he just using me for sex. He should be able to say something nice at a time like that so as to make the person feel good even if the question was shit.

OP posts:

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 11:58

And I may be wrong but after what 8 weeks I’m not deeply in love, I think he is attractive and we get on and chat load and have lots in common.

OP posts:

PamDemic · 02/12/2020 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 12:00

I would have been happy if at the time he said you are the best I’ve ever had even if that’s a lie

OP posts:

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