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Original poster

I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 13:25

He is a nice guy and I think he is inexperienced really. I think his previous history of girlfriends has been interesting to say the least. I’m unsure as to whether he not had much luck with girlfriends or he attracts those girls. I don’t think he realises that women can be strong. His past girlfriends all wanted his money and to trap him so he makes out, I don’t need his money. I have a brain so need more then a quick shag with no intellectual stimulation. I’m probably scaring him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 13:27

@NoSquirrels thanks. Don’t know if I do but would have been nice to have just been told that anyway.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 02/12/2020 13:42

The situation you described is basic pillow talk...well until his reply.

Any half decent man who cares about a woman and wants to make a woman feel comfortable around him therefore ensuring a good sex life would be giving you loads of compliments about your body when he's wrapped up naked with you!
He's either an asshole or very thick!

If you asked him for his genuine opinion in another context then perhaps his answer would be ok if he felt put on the spot but no it is not in any way acceptable or even normal in an after sex pillow talk situation!

I bet your arse is amazing Grin

user1481840227 · 02/12/2020 13:45

Also don't settle for anyone who thinks of you as anything less as sexy as hell! At 8 weeks in he should be obsessing over your body and giving you loads of compliments. This is definitely nothing to do with you!

Fudgsicles · 02/12/2020 14:00

Jesus OP get rid. He sounds crap in bed and 8 weeks in he should be all over you, finding you attractive. That was a crap answer of his. My DP cannot get enough of my body and lets me know it, and vice versa. That is fairly normal in a healthy relationship I think.

YoniAndGuy · 02/12/2020 14:15

he had said his ex girlfriend was a bit of a fruit cake

His past girlfriends all wanted his money and to trap him so he makes out

Massive red flags here, sorry. Badmouthing his exes - they were all out to get his money?

And he's shit in bed?

Dump, this one is reeeeally not a keeper.

EssenceAbsolue · 02/12/2020 15:34

@Namechange1983

The last few times I’ve had to ask him to finish me off and I feel a little invisible like he not in it for me.
That would be a much bigger problem for me OP, and tbh I'm not surprised with his answer if he is making you invisible and not satisfied in bed.
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 16:16

Well now I feel a bit more shit. I may have said something to him about his reply to me and he said ah so next time I’m asked something I should lie even if I don’t think it.
Wtf so telling me I he liked my body would be a lie so he didn’t.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 02/12/2020 16:20

Honestly he's not worth it.
He's just shown you now that he can't reflect on a situation that occured and realise yep that wasn't a good thing to say when we were lying in bed naked together.
and he's shown you that when he's called out on anything insulting or a bit hurtful he'll double down on what he's saying.
Clearly any kind of confrontation with him would be a nightmare! If he was in any way a decent man he'd be mortified to make you feel that way!

Get rid!

Regularsizedrudy · 02/12/2020 16:25

Omg just dump him. Why are you tying yourself in knots over this dullard?

nosswith · 02/12/2020 16:31

As a man it is a loaded question and you wonder about if there is a good answer. Probably if I was ever in that situation I would mention a part I particularly liked.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 16:35

So why is a man sleeping with a women if he can’t answer a question stupid or not with an instant answer that he thinks she’s attractive? Why does he feel put on the spot and not just say something nice.

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 02/12/2020 16:40

Oh FFS!!!!!

You REALLY need to up your standards OP or you are going to end up marrying a twat, and looking back when you're 70 wondering what the fuck happened.

Basically you have had 8 weeks of a man who:

  • is absolutely SHIT in bed. None of this 'oh he's been with strange women' 'oh he's inexperienced' - no, not relevant, the KEY thing is that he couldn't care less past the point of his own orgasm. Never put up with this. Selfish in bed, selfish elsewhere.
  • has no fucking social skills. His moaning reply to you there is just - head in hands! - WTF. He isn't even pleasant to talk to. Eight weeks in and it sounds like you're in a thirty-year dead marriage with a fucking grumpy bellend.
  • He's a woman hater. The slagging off his exes is classic. Never, never ignore this. This man won't be your friend, your supporter, the person you laugh with. No. He's the kind of man to whom women are 'Er Indoors'/slags/tottie. Nothing else, you'll go from one category to the next. He'll shag, moan, eat, fart and ignore you the rest of the time and won't really see you as a person, just 'The Girlfriend.'

None of this is the kind of man you want for the future. None of it.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS by being 100% prepared to simply DUMP a bloke like this. You've known him 8 weeks ffs, why are you even bothering with someone so absolutely C-list? Never try and fix, at this stage. Never try and teach or explain. If they're not already up to speed with the basics of kindness, wit, generosity, and manners - DUMP.

TooMinty · 02/12/2020 16:45

I think you should just end it tbh. He doesn't do it for you sexually, and even tries to get out of it by pretending to be asleep?! Plus he doesn't voluntarily compliment you and is daft enough to talk about his ex gfs' bodies when in bed with you. It's only been 8 weeks, if it's hard work and unfulfilling now it will only get worse!

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 02/12/2020 16:50

His past girlfriends all wanted his money and to trap him so he makes out,

Yeah right. Cos he’s just such a catch. Hmm

Get rid OP and raise the bar.

WouldstrokeTomHardy · 02/12/2020 16:51

😂😂 A man of many words. I think that's a typical answer to be fair to your dp

ukgift2016 · 02/12/2020 16:54

Dump him. He sounds like a total twat who thinks his a 'player' yawn.

He sounds like a red pill guy, he is negging you. These men are emotionally retarded, move on.

coronaway · 02/12/2020 16:56

I take it he is Brad Pitt OP? 😂

Plsv87 · 02/12/2020 16:56

Dump him

StillCantSleep · 02/12/2020 16:58

I've never had someone tell me I was gorgeous or sexy. I'm not, so I wouldnt ask. Fishing for compliments is a really bad idea. That being said, if someone found me attractive, I'd expect to know.

I dumped someone for exactly this reason, OP. I felt a darn sight better about myself afterwards too...

Florelei · 02/12/2020 16:58

This sounds like my ex OP. His name doesn’t begin with N does it? He even said to me do you expect me to lie?

ZolaGrey · 02/12/2020 17:00

There is literally no way he could've answered and you not have been pissed off at him.

dreamingbohemian · 02/12/2020 17:05

@ZolaGrey

There is literally no way he could've answered and you not have been pissed off at him.
Why do people keep saying this?

If he'd said yeah, I think you look great, obviously the OP would be happy.

Florelei · 02/12/2020 17:06

@ZolaGrey you think the OP would have been annoyed if he said that he liked her body?

firesong · 02/12/2020 17:08

No, he's just had sex with you so I presume your body turned him on enough. Your mistake was asking post sex! Before sex I don't think it would've been a "dunno" when thinking about your body...