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Original poster

I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 03/12/2020 11:31

I only want to feel like he had sex with me because he was turned on by me not just getting his Willy wet as to say.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 03/12/2020 11:35

The poor guy could never win with that question though, could he?

I mean, he's been with a few different girls as you said, and who's to say that you had the best body of them all? I know that my body isn't as good as some of DP's ex girlfriends! But he split up with them for a reason, and he loves me for a reason. It might not be because I look like a supermodel, but so what?

We have a bit of a silly thing between us where he will see someone in a film or something and say oh my god look at her, she's so pretty (I do this to men, too, so it's fine) and then I say 'Surely not as pretty as me?' and he says 'No darling, nobody could ever be as pretty as you!' and kisses me.

He says that because he knows it's what I want to hear.

Both him and me know it's not true, and we make these comments jokingly.

I would never expect him to seriously claim that I have a really good looking body, because I don't, and it's just the truth of the matter.

I'm not sure I see your problem!

CorianderQueen · 03/12/2020 11:37

@LindaEllen

The poor guy could never win with that question though, could he?

I mean, he's been with a few different girls as you said, and who's to say that you had the best body of them all? I know that my body isn't as good as some of DP's ex girlfriends! But he split up with them for a reason, and he loves me for a reason. It might not be because I look like a supermodel, but so what?

We have a bit of a silly thing between us where he will see someone in a film or something and say oh my god look at her, she's so pretty (I do this to men, too, so it's fine) and then I say 'Surely not as pretty as me?' and he says 'No darling, nobody could ever be as pretty as you!' and kisses me.

He says that because he knows it's what I want to hear.

Both him and me know it's not true, and we make these comments jokingly.

I would never expect him to seriously claim that I have a really good looking body, because I don't, and it's just the truth of the matter.

I'm not sure I see your problem!

He could just say 'I love your body' or ' I find you sexy'.
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 03/12/2020 11:41

So would you all continue having sex with a boyfriend who said you look alright? So when you dress nice and wear sexy underwear you only alright.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 03/12/2020 11:41

@Kimjong

It’s not a great response but men can’t win nowadays when it comes to stuff like this. I had a boyfriend who used to talk about my body all the time and it got the the point where I thought he only valued me for my looks and body!
That's not the only two options though - say nothing or be a pest. My boyfriend gives me compliments without being a pest. I think most people are capable of that middle ground that is healthy and happy and makes both people feel valued and wanted!
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 03/12/2020 11:42

By the way I didn’t ask him to compare my body to his ex girlfriends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1983 · 03/12/2020 11:44

Even a girl friend of mine told me a few months ago that I had a nice body when talking about something ...which was a nice compliment. Sometimes it’s nice to hear. I’m not saying anything about it being more important then personality but we all human and it’s nice to be desired.

OP posts:
hadesinahalfahell · 03/12/2020 11:45

@Namechange1983

So would you all continue having sex with a boyfriend who said you look alright? So when you dress nice and wear sexy underwear you only alright.
From your general description of your boyfriend, no I wouldn't.
stressfullday · 03/12/2020 11:48

He was probably embarrassed because it's quite an out of the blue question. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

WelliesWithHeels · 03/12/2020 11:50

@Namechange1983

So would you all continue having sex with a boyfriend who said you look alright? So when you dress nice and wear sexy underwear you only alright.
Absolutely not. But that would be way down on the list of reasons I'd not want to be intimate with him. He sounds dim, selfish, lazy in bed, and any man who feels the need to slate his previous girlfriends (especially in a way that attempts to make him look like a trap-worthy money pot) is an immediate turn off. Look, he already has you in a tizzy about your body, if he is attracted to you, etc. and it is only a mere eight weeks in! He doesn't deserve intimate access to you.
BeakyWinder · 03/12/2020 13:08

If he's not got anything nice to say 8 weeks in I'd sack him off. He sounds a bit thick and bad in bed to top it off. Next!

Timeflyin · 03/12/2020 14:20

@LindaEllen

The poor guy could never win with that question though, could he?

I mean, he's been with a few different girls as you said, and who's to say that you had the best body of them all? I know that my body isn't as good as some of DP's ex girlfriends! But he split up with them for a reason, and he loves me for a reason. It might not be because I look like a supermodel, but so what?

We have a bit of a silly thing between us where he will see someone in a film or something and say oh my god look at her, she's so pretty (I do this to men, too, so it's fine) and then I say 'Surely not as pretty as me?' and he says 'No darling, nobody could ever be as pretty as you!' and kisses me.

He says that because he knows it's what I want to hear.

Both him and me know it's not true, and we make these comments jokingly.

I would never expect him to seriously claim that I have a really good looking body, because I don't, and it's just the truth of the matter.

I'm not sure I see your problem!

Eh? So your husband says nice things to you because he knows that's what you want to hear, you both joke about it and are on the same page but you cant understand op's problem with her boyfriend only being able to muster up i dunno its alright when she's sat on him naked ?
unicornsnowflakes · 03/12/2020 21:16

@Namechange1983 I wouldn't be having sex with him ever again.

There are enough men out there, I want one that gives and fits MY Needs.

Don't care if others think I'm wrong or not.

But no way is a man who just shag me gonna be mentioning previous ex's and not tell me I'm fabulous.

It's not about jealousy or being insecure it's about respecting and showing appreciation for the person you are with.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 04/12/2020 06:29

He sounds like an idiot , he couldn't come out with a positive comment about anything. Sod that and he sounds crap in bed, get rid

CookieClub · 07/12/2020 14:13

I don't think it's so much what he said, but the lack of enthusiasm his response implied. You want to know that you're desirable and fanciable to him - obviously you are attractive to him and he was turned on, as you'd just had sex.
But I do think men are much more capable of having sex without involving emotions, whereas women see it as an emotional area.

I think what you're now doubting, is whether he's "really that into you" and if he sees you as anything other than FWB (wet willy, as you said)

Ultimately, it will become obvious as time goes on; how your relationship develops emotionally.

Is there the possibility you can not be exclusive to one another and just see how things go/flow? Time will tell. But if I'm honest, it sounds like you're way more into him than he is to you..in terms of eagerness.

Maybe he's just emotionally retarded, like a PP suggested??

user1481840227 · 07/12/2020 14:17

@Namechange1983

So would you all continue having sex with a boyfriend who said you look alright? So when you dress nice and wear sexy underwear you only alright.
No chance.
Notrightbutok · 07/12/2020 17:21

If you haven't been together long maybe he finds it difficult to open up. My DP admits he's not very good at saying nice things, he blames it on being hurt in the past.

If I try on an outfit he might say it looks alright. If he says I look nice it's when I've made a bit of effort.

In a year he has told me I'm beautiful a handful of times so it means a lot when he says it .

I would like him say more things, especially during sex. I am quite open and I will say how great it feels to be skin to skin with him and how sexy he is.

I would appreciate some more compliments sometimes but that's how he is. I know he can't keep his hands off me, loves cuddling and he does phone me all the time.

Some men might shower me with compliments but not actually care about me. I think if I asked what he thought of my body he would probably say alright and then act sheepish because he didn't say something more flattering. He used to be shy around women so I guess he's never practised smooth talking 😂

TheBlueStocking · 07/12/2020 18:05

I think he might have been talking just about your bum, given that he'd just said he's not into them. Maybe he just meant he sees your bum like some people would see an arm.

That said, I'd dump him for 1. talking shit about his exes - he's the common denominator in all of those relationships going wrong and 2. clearly having issues with social intuition. It was clear he should have said you looked sexy, whether he meant it or not.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 07/12/2020 18:11

Ok well I gave him the benefit of doubt and then yesterday happened......perhaps doesn’t mean anything and I may be having an emotional week. We were having a cuddle in bed and I said I have to go back home now...he was like awww don’t go so I said oh you having a nice cuddle then and he says nah I just can’t be bothered to go and open the door to let you out. Ffs

OP posts:
Cheeseandwin5 · 07/12/2020 19:36

Dump him, You are obviously not happy and I am pretty sure he wont be either.
You have lised problems which should have been in first post if they were true.
I always think how I would react if I was in such a situation and honestly you come across as needy controlling and manpalitive,
You need to work on yourself cause you sound like a horror show!

YoniAndGuy · 07/12/2020 19:43

He loves to put you down, doesn't he?

Piece of shit - up to you if you want to keep taking it, OP.

HarryHarryHarry · 07/12/2020 19:47

Hmm I don’t know if I agree with the PP saying what do you expect, he’s just being honest, you shouldn’t fish for compliments or whatever. I think you deserve to be with someone who thinks you’re fucking sexy (to them). No, physical attractiveness is not the most important thing. But we can’t pretend that it doesn’t matter at all in a sexual relationship.

Boopeedoop · 07/12/2020 19:52

You know it's not going to get any better than this with him.

Life's too short. Move on.

LolaSmiles · 07/12/2020 20:01

This sounds like far too much hard work for 8 weeks.
You start asking him about whether he's a bum guy and when he says not really because his exes were all different shapes you then push him on the spot to essentially rate your bum.
The sex isn't good.
You're asking questions to get validation from him and getting upsetting he doesn't answer how you want.
Having challenged him on not responding appropriately in a 'rate my body' chat he says that you're wanting him to lie and you take offence at that (on this I take his point because what you were wanting was a specific type of answer where he talked about you like you were a princess but most of us are 'alright' and that's just fine).
He's bad mouthing his exes to you and saying they are crazy and were gold diggers.
You've decided you're obviously better than his exes, but still fish for compliments about your bum post sex.

Seriously, 8 weeks. 8 weeks. Is it really worth this drama.

Original poster
Namechange1983 · 07/12/2020 20:04

needy, controlling, manipulative and a horror show....wow just wow.

OP posts: